Feeling left behind….

HomeCategory: BreakupsFeeling left behind….
WillGetThru asked 6 years ago

Today is my would-be 8 anniversary with my ex-bf. So, I kind of expected to be a little sad, if not really sad. My boyfriend broke up with me last December, these past 2 years have been the hardest in my life. We were together for 7 years (started dating since at 17), went to the same schools, did everything together, were there for each other when our parents weren’t – we both came from dysfunctional family situations. I thought we were happy until it was blatantly obvious that we weren’t. Last year, things just started falling apart. He became too busy to be there for me, we didn’t communicate our needs, we were never affectionate, and on top of that, I developed a crush on my coworker and couldn’t get him out of myhead because he was cordial towards me and would actually talk to me and ask my opinion on things, etc. I didn’t want my relationship to end, at all, I tried to put the extra effort out to buy him a nice cake for his birthday, rally up his friends for his bday, sign us up for a couples cooking class on our anniversary last year, buy self help books pertaining to love and relating to each other better, and I also was pushing for us to go to couples counseling. None of it helped; he seemed resistant to everything. He told me he tried…buy lowering the rent for me, buying me my favorite bar, making me dinner, but nothing helped. He said that my thinking about all of this was wrong – that trying and trying won’t make us happy because were lacking chemsitry and love and trying won’t help that. I wanted more excitement in the relationship; I wanted us to explore the world and our surroundings, but we never did. We tried for 6 months to spark some kind of passion in the relationship, but nothing helped. He then decided to break up with me. He wasn’t kind at all with the break up, he’s been rude cold, distant, and 4 monthd after we broke up he got a new gf. I see pictures of them on FB and they look so happy. He’s doing things with her that he never did with me, he got a personal trainer, etc. Looking at his pictures, makes me feel left behind and unwanted. I understand our relationship was falling apart beforehand, but I can’t help think that he left me for another girl. I’m really trying to move on; I’ve started taking a painting class, ballet, studying to take exam for grad school, I applied for my passport and travelled to 2 place since we broke up, I’ve become more independent and less reliant on other people, I’ve grown immensely, but none of that helps I see his pictures and see how happy he is and how I feel left behind. Please, don’t call me selfish, bitter, jealous, etc. He’s blocked me on FB, i recently emailed him that went ignored, I feel abandoned, unloved, and unwanted. I don’t know what to do…I don’t know how to finally move on. I always placed my ex on a pedastal, I thought he was the greatest guy and that’s why I loved him. I thought he was sweet, kind, righteous, generous, and devoted. I still have him on that pedastal and knowing someone else is with him, hurts like h**l.