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I love her

HomeCategory: BreakupsI love her
bourbon_vodka asked 3 years ago

Hello, I feel lost, my girlfriend broke up with me. We were going out for 6 months, I met her online we are both at the opposite sides of the world. At first we were just friends then she confessed that she really liked me, and I told her that I really liked her as well. A month later I told her that I loved her she told me that she loved me too. We never had a dull moment, we never lied to one another, we trusted each other with our own lives, we really thought that we were meant for each other. We would always talk about our future together, we made a bucket list of things we would do together when we meet. She’s 16 and I’m 17, we’re a year apart i’m already in college but she’s still in high school. We didnt mind the distance between us, we always said that we would never let go, we promised to love each other forever, and I really do love her. When I finally made a plan I started saving money in order for me to visit her, two days before I told her that it was confirmed that I was visiting, she introduced me to a close friend of hers. She asked me a couple of questions in regards of her likes and dislikes, her friend was very friendly and she claimed that she approved of me being her boyfriend. The following day I told my girlfriend that I will be visiting two months from now, that I am not sure when the exact date is going to be but that I was definitely going to visit her. She was shocked and very happy at the same time. Due to our different timezones she would always stay past midnight talking to me, even if she had school, we would spend almost everyday talking for hours and hours on, we had a day to day routine in which case i can see why things must’ve gotten a little boring, but she always said that i made her feel warm nice and beautiful, she made me feel the same way I couldnt explain this feeling and niether could she. the day right after I told her that I was visiting, she texted me saying that her friend that she introduced me to told her that she should tell her mom about me, and she was thinking about telling her mom, she was thinking about what her mom would say, and then she thought whether or not she really loved me, and then she realized that she was only in love with the idea of loving and being loved. She then told me that she does not love me, that her mind was playing tricks on her heart, I told her that our love was real, everything we said everything we did that was not a lie. I told her that she really loved me and i really loved her, that i loved her unconditionally. She then told me that she did not feel the same way, I was really broken I was unable to sleep or eat or drink or do anything, she told me that she would understand if I dont want to talk to her anymore. But she hoped that we could still be friends, I told her that I really did not want to lose her friendship, two days later she texts me and we had a normal conversation, I was crying the entire time, but I was just masking my feelings for her. She was glad that we could still be friends, that we were able to talk like we used to, and honestly I really did too, i told her that I was probably in love with the idea as well, and she said that she was happy that I understand where she was coming from. Since then its been a week, and I do not know how to get over her, I really love her, and i would do anything to get her back, I am still planning on visiting her but I will have to postpone it for the time being. She is currently on a school trip, and is unable to talk for the time being. She seems to be already over our breakup, I asked her if she was ok and she said that she was really good. That she felt bad for feeling well, that she should not feel this way, but she is good, I told her that I am really glad that she is doing so well, I really care for her I really love her but she said that she cannot bring herself to love me, we relied on each other to feel loved, we both changed, we’ve grown insecure and way too attached, we were in the honeymoon state in which i tried to explain to her (big mistake), then I told her if we could work something out, but she said that she just does not think that she will ever fall in love with me ever again. I know that love is not forced but I do not know what to do, I really love her, but just knowing that I was blindsided this whole time, she said that she could not take it, that it was too much, that she was only 16 and she had a lot to go. I overwhelmed her and I told her that I am really sorry that I would never rush anything ever again, that I will ask if whether she actually wanted me to visit, if we were ready. But she does not know what to think, she is confused and so am I. I would really do anything to win her back I’ve realized my mistakes, and wish to just fix everything, I really love her but if it is not meant to be then I know that this will not work out, I am beginning to have an apetite, and began to catch some sleep. My friend is helping me get through this and I really love her but he tells me to get over her, but I cant I really cant I really love her and I will give her all of the time she needs, but I am just afraid that if I wait too long she’ll find someone else and I would be too late. I do not know what to do if someone would please help me, I would seriously appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time for reading all of this. Thank you so much