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Fiance – to split or not to split that is the question !!

HomeCategory: BreakupsFiance – to split or not to split that is the question !!
alisah asked 6 years ago

My fiance and I are having a little break at the moment as of last night. We live together, so he is staying at his parents for a few days. This happened because we have been rocky for the past 3-4 months, and continue to argue about stupid things and we find ourselves having the same discussion month after month: do we still want to be together? (I’m usually the one to bring this up because I feel neglected)

It has felt like we are more roommates than a couple, we both work, come home and watch tv. Barely talk really, we have a really boring repetitive routine that we just haven’t been able to shake it up. Our love life is very minimal, the rare occasion is sometimes good and sometimes frustrating. I have suggested ways for us to be closer and communicated to him that I desire more affection (not just sex, I mean in general) and it would be fine for a few days but then has just not seemed to work out. We have 3 times now, “almost broke up” but ended up salvaging it. Idk if it is because we are convenient for each other financially, and that it would be too difficult to find elsewhere to live?

two nights ago we got into a pointless fight and I finally said, I’m sick of arguing with you all of the time. I never do anything right. And he said he was sick of my negative attitude. I said I have a bad attitude because I’m not content. Anyway, the next morning (it was kind of mutual) we had said maybe we love each other but are not in love anymore, and he said he doesn’t think we should be together anymore.

This is the first time we have ever been apart, so I’m wondering if the space will do us good, or if we should just let it go and work on moving out of our place. I had a hard night without him, thinking about what it would be like without him was especially hard, but then I am torn between thinking about what it would be like to meet new people, get back into dating. We moved in together a year after dating, and he proposed to me shortly after we moved in. So maybe we just took it too fast and ruined it… maybe some time after moving apart we could reconcile… I just don’t know. I am tempted to message him but I know that I shouldn’t this soon 🙁