Made a mistake?

HomeCategory: BreakupsMade a mistake?
hinderka asked 6 years ago

Hey, so I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years few days ago, because he had a lot of issues and we have been fighting ever since we started going out. I am talking smashing glasses, beating my best friend, hitting me once by accident, massive scandals on the streets,police,thorn up clothes, etc fights. I wanted to help him out as I love him and I know he has anger issues but this summer I decided I can’t do it anymore. It was too much, our whole holiday he was threating me to break up with me and making scandals for very small things. I decided that when I get back to uni, i will call it off, as I didnt want to do it over Skype. However, he was insisting on working our issues out, but i had already given up. I thought I could do it for a month until I get back to uni, but then something happened. I cheated on him with somebody. I called it off the next day as I could not pretend anymore. i didnt tell him about the cheating, though. Now, I feel horrible, I feel like I have made a terrible mistake cheating on him and breaking up, as we had so many plans for the future together. And I have other problems and now I cant talk to him, and I always used to. And i know we shouldnt get back together as it was abusive and we were always fighting and i couldnt express an  opinion or go out with my friends, without him beign really angry. But then, i cant believe i cheated on him. i dont know who i am anymore and I feel completely lost and nondeserving of any love or anything, whatsover. I have stopped eating and i just go out and drink and try not to sleep, cause sleep is a torture. 
So if anybody bothers reading this, i’d really need some sort of unbiased opinion or any sort of advice.

Thanks