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just need help with coping. (this will be kinda long so please be patient.)

HomeCategory: Breakupsjust need help with coping. (this will be kinda long so please be patient.)
lawanders asked 6 years ago

I’ve recently broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years, almost 2 months to be exact. We have been in a long distance relationship and just recently been spending a lot of time together this year. we talk on the phone, text and chat everyday for the past 4 1/2 years. 

Last december we learned that my mum have cancer, me being the ever sensitive and caring person i thought we should take the time off because i thought it wouldnt be fair to him, cause i wont be able to give him much attention and time he said he didnt want to we were still talking as if nothing happened as if were still together, after several weeks i saw this picture of him and a girl they said was just a friend, the picture was him kinda drunk and the girl was always beside him and 1 picture was him being hugged from behind by the girl, so i made the breakup official and havent talked to him till february,. 

On february he started talking to me again and said he wanted to get me back and his coming to my place to get me back we didnt really talked about it cause i actually thought it was really over and we will never get back together but a week before my birthday he did came over, a 12hr bus ride and no assurance of getting back together but still he came. he stayed for more than a week and we got back together, after a few days of getting back together something happened we had our FIRSTs (he told me he was a virgin just a few months into the relationship),  we were each others first, after almost 2 weeks we have to travel to my uncles place and stay there for 2 months the day of the roadtrip he went back to their place which is just 3 hours drive where we were staying, we were seeing each other almost every day till the first week of april. 

Ive been having this strange feeling about this girl and him, that they seem too close to be just friends. His friends and the girl’s friends are pairing them up together and say they really look good together even if they knew about me. 

so on April i have to go back home and he just started acting strange, he was always busy and changed on how he treated me, so on may i broke up with him,but on may 16 i have to go back to the city near his place because of a seminar, before when i ask him come over he wouldnt think twice but this time he was really acting weird and asked if he could come over the next day and only on the afternoon, when we saw each other i asked him to tell me the truth but said there was nothing between the 2 of them and wanted to get me back thats why he came over, but he was strange he was different. when we were talking the girl called and he canceled the call and messaged him “why did you cancel my call 🙁 ” i asked him what was that about and if he was obliged to answer her call,  asked him over and over again if there is something between the two of them but they both denied it. i was crying the whole time and he was crying as well, i asked him to leave before my mum went up. after 3 days i have to go home i asked him if he was going to go with me to the airport because it might be the last time we see each other, but he didnt come and i learned he went to the trip with his friends and this girl. we were till talking with each other like nothing really happened, and i told him i was 2 months late, we did it again several times last march and there was pictures again of theyre trip and he was with this girl looking kinda intimate and they were both covering theyre faces, so i asked him about it and they both denied it again.

last june i was almost 3months late and i told him about it, but he completely changed he wouldnt even talk to me anymore. He ddnt believe me when i told him i was pregnant, i talked to the girl to know what was really going on between thembut still they are denying it, he didnt believe me when i told him i was pregnant because the girl told him it was impossible and acted as if she knew everything that happened between me and my ex, i was gettng really depressed but instead of being there for me the girl made him believe all this things that wasnt true and pretended to have a problem of her own so that my ex would stay with her cause i was hundred miles away, to cut the long story short i lost my baby and he still wouldnt believe me. 

he told me not to fix this relationship anymore and he was sorry. after that i started talking to this girl and the girl told me all this things that he was saying about me and that he courted her last december and when we were still together he would text her and ask her about her and her boyfriend and when she would ask about us (me and him) he will always say were not ok. he kissed and tell but the thing is what he was saying was all lies. he made me look like a complete s**t and liar when i the truth is i wasnt. 

Last july her elder sister asked me what my new number was and i asked why and who was asking for it she said my ex my was asking for it and wanted to tell me something. I didnt give it to him, yesterday my ex asked her sister to ask me how i was doing and told me that he have been asking her to ask me for my number, but still i didnt give it to him. Just this morning my mum came to visit and told me that my ex messaged her end of july and was saying sorry, and have been asking for my number and told my mum that he was sick and wanted to talk to me, cause he never really talked to anyone about it other than me, but my mum didnt give him my number, He posted on his facebook that he and the girl was together now and I dont really know what he wants, i blocked him from my facebook and i have no plans of giving him my new number i asked her sister if he was really sick and what he wanted to tell me but she said she dont really know cause he wont tell them anything. i asked her to tell him that he have till saturday to be ableto tell me what he wants before saturday when he is back on the blocked list.

What do you think i should do? should i talk to him? what do you think he wants from me? he said he was happy and it seems like it, why do you think he wants to talk to me and what advice could you give me on coping? i still care for him, but i dont think i could ever be friends with him ever,