Why can’t I get over him? It’s been 8 months…

HomeCategory: BreakupsWhy can’t I get over him? It’s been 8 months…
WillGetThru asked 6 years ago

I’m sitting here it’s 5:30am and I look around me and realize how depressed I’ve been lately. I can’t seem to get over my ex. My heart has been aching and it’s something you’d expect from someone who just got broken up with but not after 8 months..I was in a 7 year relationship (first one for both of us we were both 24 years old) and for months we both felt something was missing and off. For me I started feeling it when I started becoming attracted to someone at work. Honestly, I felt a rush of an infatuation for this person, something I’d never felt before, not even for my boyfriend. I was confused, didn’t know how to handle the infatuation. I’d come home to my boyfriend and we were just co-existing, as a couple. Before the infatuation, I was content with the dynamics of the relationship, but after I wasn’t. I didn’t feel that same euphoric feeling like I did with the guy at work. My bf didn’t inspire me to me to grow, but this other person did. My feelings just grew stronger and I grew more detached from my relationship because I had no idea what was going on and was struggling to figure it out. My bf knew about the attraction and said for me not to worry because things like this happen all of the time and it shouldn’t ruin a 6 year relationship, at the time. As time went on though, we grew more and more distant from each other. I told him what was wrong that I wanted more excitement and to feel closer to him and we just couldn’t get closer. He also told me that he didn’t think I really knew him very well or was into him. We tried for 6 months to feel closer and to add more excitement but we couldn’t. He ended up breaking up with me, I didn’t want it. He told me it had nothing to do with my infatuation or euphoric feelings, but the fact that we dont feel like a couple and he didn’t think we were in love. I don’t blame myself that often anymore, but I feel like if I wouldn’t have felt that rush of infatuation for someone else, then my long term relationship wouldn’t have ended. My bf says the opposite and thinks it would’ve been inevitable bc we were so young. I find myself unable to sleep and concentrate very well and I just want to find peace within myself. After 5 months had past, he got a girlfriend. It hurts so much bc I can’t contact him at all. I’m stuck wallowing in my self pity. Unable to let go. I never wanted to let go, I thought we would be able to get through this because we had been together for awhile. I wanted to go to counseling, etc. I just want to be happy again, to not blame myself, and to peacefully move on. I think what I’m especially struggling with is balancing logic with emotion. Our relationship dynamic wasn’t great. We had lousy communication and we didn’t encourage each other to grow. We would just come home and co-exist. So, I know that information but at the same time, I still miss him and what we had.  I’m unable to completely let go. Any advice? I just want peace within myself….