Getting my ex back after a long time (Advices pls)

HomeCategory: BreakupsGetting my ex back after a long time (Advices pls)
bastian_ema asked 6 months ago

Hello there…this is my story.
Me and my girlfriend were together about 4 years. We loved each other so much, we had future plans together (actually she more than me but we were happy) but we went for period of lots of figthings and arguing. Personally I was so stressed because of my work, my career and some family problems that I decided to break up with her. I was not sure about anything in my life at that point. My head was a mess. I never stopped loving her, but I decided to not contact her (I dind’t let her contact me too) to not give her false hopes. She suffered a lot, she was so depressed around 4 or 5 months. After that she moved on, she even had a rebound with a guy that didn’t work.
During that period I fell into a depression and my situation got so bad that I realized I needed help urgently. Long story short…I went through psychiatric treatment and I’m finally getting better to the point I realized it was a mistake breaking up with her. After 9 months, I contacted her to give me a chance. At first she was like: “Please do not talk to me again. You more than anyone know I don’t keep it touch my ex’s”. I let days pass and I tried again. For 3 months I’ve been trying to be in contact with her. She rejected me some times but I insisted and finally started chatting again. A this point, we text almost every day, she had initiated contact, we play online games together again (we were a little bit geeks), she had called me by phone, etc.(we don’t meet up beacause we live in different cities 3 hours away. We have only met up twice in this 3 months) but every time I try to talk about getting back together she gets a bit angry and uncomfortable. She often tells me to not preassure her, but it’s hard to me to not preassure her in some way (I don’t want to stay just as friend). Sometime I asked her out and she told me not to preassure her (again) and that i have to try to understand her, that she has to trust me again and that is a process. So I cling to those comments and I’m really hopeful. But sometimes she says she is good by herselft, that she is living her life. etc. I asked her plenty of time if she doesn’t feel anything for me anymore, if our breakup is definitely, but she never answered those questions.
She is a very good person, with values, so I think it’s impossible that she getting some kind of revenge at me.
My questiones are. Why she keeps in contact with me if she knows completely my intentions and says she is good by herselft? Why she just don’t cut me off from her life? am I being friendzoned?
Can you give me some advices to “preassure without preassuring”? maybe, how can I convice her to meet up without making her feel preassured…don’t know…please I need a some help.

1 Answers
Dvaisa answered 5 months ago

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