Is he cheating or am I just paranoid?

HomeCategory: CheatingIs he cheating or am I just paranoid?
Lily asked 4 years ago

I have been married for over 15 years and my husband has always been loving and treated me well. He drinks too much but he never gets violent or mean although I wish he would stop for his health.  But last year I discovered he was looking at a lot of porn online and casual sex dating sites. I was really hurt and confronted him because we hardly have much of a sex life. Not because I dont want to. I am always the one to ask. He says he loves me all the time, but doesnt want to be intimate. I feel like I turn him off.  I totally understand that men like porn, but the dating sites are different & even the porn hurts when your husband wont be intimate with you. He admitted the porn but said he was NOT on the dating sites. I found no profile and he does not have his own email (that I know of) He does not have a FB account or even access to a computer other than at home (again that I know of) This brought about trust issues because early in our marriage I had found a womans phone number in his wallet. I called the woman & confronted him. He swore to me he didnt cheat and he was sorry and things got better between us so we moved on.

But now, I find myself not trusting him at all, especially since he has no desire to have sex. I know we are both older, but it makes me wonder if there is someone else. I just have this feeling he is lying. I have noticed unusual behavior and even found hairs on his work shirts that were not his or mine and were longer like a womans. He said he didnt know how that could happen. He doesnt work with women & I found them on the inside of his shirts. He just got texting on his only phone (work phone) and I was looking through it one day & he said, what are you doing? I said just looking at your texts, he always used to use my phone & text people with it & look at things on it, which I dont have a problem with, I have nothing to hide. So I gave it back, but then it seemed suspicious so later I checked it again (after he passed out) and he had erased ALL his text messages! Recently he stayed out late at a work function and came home very drunk. The next day he kept apologizing over & over, which is a little unusual, because he often drinks too much.  But when I washed his shirts I found a handwritten note that had been washed & dried in his shirt pocket that he had worn that night. I was unable to read it as it was in peices, but it was clearly a womans handwriting. He said he had no idea how that got there. Then he said it could have been a receipt for the business function, but he was sure he gave it to his boss. So I asked him to text his boss to ask him, which he did, but I still dont know if he answered him & he has not offered any explanation. Other than these things he is kind and loving & says he doesnt want to leave me & that he loves me so much. So I dont know if I am being paranoid & these things can be explained or if I am truly being played.

I know I have trust issues, because of the past & I did tell him it would be a good idea to seek counseling and he agreed. But I dont think he will pursue it unless I make him go. Any thoughts?

1 Answers
sussyoptions answered 2 months ago

LOL are you serious ? How can you distinguish between a man or Woman’s hand writing ? Simply speaking, suspicion tends to help cheaters cheat more effectively. If your spouse is cheating, and you signal your doubts and suspicions, it’s going to be much more difficult to discover the truth. Discover the real truth with digital evidence, Find digitalhack10ATgmailDOTcom [access to facebook chat, whatsapp chat, instagram DM, tinder messages, phone texts, call logs, browser history, recover deleted files and texts, gallery folder, GPS location.] he is ethical.