Was he being genuine or just letting me down nicely?

HomeCategory: DatingWas he being genuine or just letting me down nicely?
starry asked 6 years ago

I met this guy at grad school a year ago. We were friends only, until he asked for my number this May. On our 2nd date, he asked if I was just dating casually, or looking for a relationship. I said I was a relationship type of person. He said “yea, I just take a little while to get there and make up my mind about that sort of thing.” I said I understood, and that we should go out and get to know one another because it was too early anyways. At that point, I thought he meant he took time to decide whether he wanted a relationship WITH ME, which made total sense. I didn’t think he meant that he was trying to decide whether he wanted a relationship in GENERAL. Anyways..

We’ve been on a total of 5 dates now, which I thought all went well. We laughed/joked the entire time, had great conversation, and seemed to hit it off. He came off as a gentleman, and there was no sex involved – just making out/kissing etc. We talked/texted daily.

Today, he called me and said he wanted to talk to me. He said “I told you I needed some time to think about it. Well, I feel like if we keep going as we are, that what you want is a relationship and I don’t know if I can commit to anything. I DO like you as more than a friend, and I really enjoying spending time with you, and I got you a birthday present (I had mentioned that my birthday was in 2 MONTHS), but I don’t want to be selfish by leading you on.”

Do you think this was just a nice way of saying “I don’t want a relationship with YOU” or did he really mean that while he does like me, he doesn’t want a relationship? Note: We’re both 24. I’m just confused because he bought me a gift, all the dates went suprisingly well at least from my perspective, we talked every single day, and I just don’t understand why someone who doesn’t want a relationship would bother will all these dates. any ideas?