should i just stop dating???

HomeCategory: Datingshould i just stop dating???
korencjm asked 6 years ago

this is really complicated and i will make it as easy to understand as possible. all my relationship isses started 10 years ago when i started dating a guy who started out as a good friend. we were together for about 1.5 years when we broke up because of me walking in on him and my childhood best friend (they only knew each other for a day) the day before graduating with my associates degree. i was not upset about us breaking up. just the way it was done. i was so depressed after everything that i could not eat or sleep for months. i ended up losing about 20 pounds in three months and had to go to counseling. all while in college. i did everything i could to move on with my life and continue my education. almost a month after this guy and i broke up, i met another guy, tim, at my new job. we started as just co-workers that our bosses would put together to do projects. as we started working together more, we started talking and became friends as the months went on. classes started back up and i moved into my dorm. that is when i started counseling. because of my depression, i tried various presecribed meds that did not help at all. when tim found out i was starting to take meds, he offered to take care of me by keeping an eye on me and letting me stay on his couch. he was just being the perfict guy friend that every woman needs/wants. he was being a wonderful friend for somebody who did not know me very well. he volunteered to pick me up when he had nothing to do with it and did not understand at all. he basically picked me up from grpund zero. i did not realize it for about a month or so, but he fell in love with me during all this. when i found out, i told him he was nothing but a friend since i did not see him in that way. because of how the different meds were reacting to me and my grades, i stopped taking them, but tim was still there for me in so many ways that i cannot write all of them down. anyway, things some how escelated and i ended up falling in love with him. we started having a friends with benefits relationship and made if official december 2005, even though we said it started in october. we ended up gertting married october 2006. i know it was quick and stupid, but i figured: he stuck around through everything so far, he would stick around theough anything. we had some problems (what couple doesn’t?), but i thought we were happy for the most part. at least i thought we were. he came home one day last october (about 2 weeks before out 6 year anniversary)and told me he wanted a seperation. i told him he had his divorce. because him signing a new lease two months before, we stayed in the same apartment sleeping the seperate rooms for almost four months before i could not handle it anymore and moved out. over that time, i found out various things such as he was usung me for about 4 years of our marriage for sex and money. i am guessing he was during our entire relationship. with the way he was acting the couple days before he asked for the seperation, i am also guessing he also had a girlfriend. i am fine my relationship is over. i was doing great moving on with my life… until divorce court. that is when everything went down hill. i was depressed all the time, pushing people out of my life… including my boyfriend at the time. i was suddenly too afraid of being in a relationship at all. my ex had basically dropped me further down than i was where he picked me up from. i am beyond ground zero right now. i thought about everything i wanted in a relationship since i have not been with somebody who truely wanted to be with in years. i met a guy and became friends with him in july. it was made clear that i was not ready for a relationship and that the thought of the “boyfriend/girlfriend” label/scared the p**s out of me. even though i said this, i was falling for the guy because of all the potential i saw in him (he had most of the qualities i was looking for). needless to say, he ended up having a girlfriend and they had been using me for beer and cigs. ever since this happened. i have been seriously thinking about just not dating anymore. seems like it would be a lot less drama. thinking about either picking up more hours at work or getting a third job just so i do not have the time to date or go out. i am thinking about having the best relatipnship out there for the rest of my life: with a vibrator and a body pillow. i think that if something else like that happened again, i would probably end up in the hospital for good. i feel that i am too young to stop dating since i am only 30, but i am sick and tired of it all together. what is the best thing for me to do? is it really healthy for me to just stop dating all together?