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Ex swinger now struggling with Husbands online flirting!

HomeCategory: FlirtingEx swinger now struggling with Husbands online flirting!
Poemoss asked 2 years ago

Ok, so I’ve been struggling with this for a while:

My Husband & I have been married 10years. We have always had a very active sex life and been very adventurous. For a while we tried swinging…when we could fit it in around busy schedules & we both thoroughly enjoyed sharing each other. I then started to feel more uncomfortable after gaining some weight & our lifestyle changed a lot, so we stopped, no problems. We’ve BOTH always been flirtatious, out going people, but I seem to have become a lot more shy & insecure (despite losing weight & getting fitter).

We live & work abroad, constantly travelling and meeting new people. During our latest stint away, my Husband met a woman & there was an obvious connection straight away. She knew nothing of our ”open type marriage” but continued to flirt with him even while I was around. It was only for about a week, but they got closer, to the point that I felt shut out & rejected by my Husband. I called him on it and explained (tearfully, I admit) that I wasn’t happy and why & he assured me nothing happened & wouldn’t happen.

Then I noticed he started using his tablet more & more & I asked him if they were chatting online. They were, but just as friends, nothing serious.

I couldn’t help myself from looking at their conversation when he left his tablet on one day & to me, the conversation was flirty and she’d told him that she ”never usually went for married guys”. To be fair, he didn’t encourage her then, but they are in a lot of contact still & although he insists it’s not flirty….it is! I am now checking his messages a lot (which I feel horrifically guilty for doing behind his back) and have found another set of messages to another woman he has met while away that are also quite suggestive & flirty.

To make matters worse, we are now apart for a few weeks while I deal with a family emergency. 

To be honest, after our history of open marriage, I’m not sure where all this jealousy is coming from. Am I being totally paranoid & ridiculous? Should I tell him that I’ve been checking his messages behind his back?