You feel drained after spending time with them
You have a coffee date, natter about work and the weather, and return home. You let out a huge sigh of relief, glad that it’s over and done with. Sound familiar? If so, you may not enjoy this person’s company. It’s likely that you’re spending time with them out of habit, not choice.
You always gossip about them
You just can’t seem to help yourself. The second you’re done spending time with your pal, you endlessly gossip and complain about them to your other friends. You may think you’re just venting, but, in reality, it’s a key indicator that you don’t even like this person. Don’t talk callously about them behind their back – instead, it may be best to end the friendship altogether.
You make excuses to get out of seeing them
The day rolls around when you’re due to see your bestie, spending an entire day together! Instead, you lie, texting them that you’re sick, canceling your plans. If this is a repeated pattern with this person, you’re not just antisocial – you simply don’t want to spend time with this particular pal. Trust your gut reaction.
You never see them one-on-one
Interacting with someone one-on-one is important. It allows you to forge a deeper, long-lasting connection, getting to know each other on a more intimate level. If you’re forever bringing other pals along to your coffee dates, you may be subconsciously keeping your friend at an emotional distance.
You never introduce them to your other friends or family
Do you keep this friend in an isolated bubble in your life? If so, you may not like them as much as you think. You’re keeping them separate from the rest of your social life in case you need to make a swift, clean cut off, preventing as much drama as possible if you do choose to remove them from your life.
You dread seeing them
You shouldn’t dread spending time with your friend. In fact, you should look forward to it! If you’re constantly counting down the hours until you have to be in their company (and then count down once again until you can make a hasty exit), it’s clear that you would be happier without them in your life.
You never answer their calls
If you roll your eyes every time their name lights up your phone’s screen, there’s an issue. You may wait for the call to ring off, texting back half an hour later with the claim that you were busy. In reality, you were just binge watching Netflix. Ask yourself why you always ignore their calls, and what it says about the state of your so-called friendship.
You never respond to their texts
Some people just aren’t texters, and that’s okay. In other cases, however, you may purposely always ignore that one particular friend. You reply to everyone else just fine, but when it comes to them? You check in four days later. If so, this person may not be as important to you as you initially thought.
Plans are always their idea
Who suggests all of the plans in your friendship? Is it a healthy balance, or is it always them hitting you up for shopping trips and lunches? If it’s the latter, it’s time to assess the connection. It may be that you don’t actually like your pal as person, but, rather, you enjoy the socialization they bring to your life. There’s a huge difference.
They make you feel anxious
If there’s something about a friend that puts you on edge, you should listen to your gut. Maybe you feel anxious about how they’ll treat you, or worry that they’ll judge you for your life choices. If this is the case, be upfront and honest with the pal in question. Who knows – maybe they didn’t realize they had judgmental tendencies.
You feel as though you can’t be yourself
When you’re around your friends, you should feel as though you’re the best version of yourself. If this opposite is happening – you find yourself minding your words or walking on eggshells – there’s a clear issue. Friendships should help you to blossom, not stifle your personality.
You never open up to them
Do you open up to this person, or do you slyly push them away? If you never get deep with your pal, instead preferring to keep things at a surface level, ask yourself why that is. Do you not trust them? Are you afraid to be vulnerable around them? Whatever the case, the friendship can never evolve if you keep them at a distance.
They make you feel guilty
Some people relish in making others feel bad. This friend may consistently bring up past mistakes you’ve made, or constantly remind you of that favor you owe them. If that’s the case, this person is emotionally manipulating you, crushing your sense of self-worth in order to inflate their own. Ditch people like this – you’ll be much happier without them.
You don’t trust them
Trust is vitally important in any connection. Once it’s shattered, it’s hard to get the friendship back on track. You may question their intentions, wondering if they have ulterior motives. Don’t try and carry on as normal. Instead, take a bit of distance, allowing yourself to figure out where this person now sits in your life.
All of their habits annoy you
When you start to dislike someone, all of their once-adorable quirks suddenly become unbearable. Whether it’s the way they eat or their obnoxious laugh, you find yourself gritting your teeth at all of their annoying habits. Once you notice their flaws, it’s hard to un-see them…
You never initiate contact
Look back through your chat history. Who’s the one making all of the effort in the connection? If it’s always your friend and never you, take a look at why that may be. Maybe it’s because you’re busy. Or, perhaps, it’s because you don’t truly value this person, only talking to them when they talk to you.
You feel like they’re clingy
On a subconscious level, you may feel as though your friend is clinging onto you. Naturally, this can cause you to want to take a step back. If you don’t voice these concerns, your friend will only cling on harder, resulting in a vicious cycle of unhealthy attachment.
You ask for your stuff back
The subconscious mind is a funny thing, aware of issues before you’ve truly sat and thought about them. Suddenly asking for your loaned belongings back from a pal may be your brain creating an exit strategy, knowing that you’ll be able to end the connection with as little fanfare as possible.
You don’t interact with them online
This one rings especially true for those who are chronically online. Do you like your friend’s Facebook posts? Do you share their business page, simply to help them out? Or do you ignore everything they upload? These actions may seem small and insignificant, but they speak volumes.
You disagree about pretty much everything
You don’t have to agree on everything with your friend – that’d make for a boring life. On the flip side, you also shouldn’t be forever butting heads. If you’re just that different from one another, what’s the point in remaining friends? All your future holds is endless drama and arguments.
Your silences are awkward
When you find true friends, no silence should feel awkward. In fact, you should be able to sit contently in each other’s company, not feeling the need to fill the quiet with pointless small talk. If you dread a lull in the conversation, desperately filling it with futile chatter, your connection is likely beginning to crumble.
You refuse their help
One of the most wonderful things about friendship is the ability to lift each other up. If you’re refusing these acts of aid from your pal, look into why that may be. Perhaps you don’t value their advice. Maybe, they’re a part of the problem. Whatever the case may be, if you’re forever denying someone’s help and advice, there’s a clear disconnect.
You crave distance
Everyone needs some space every now and then. Sometimes, you can be so overwhelmed with your day-to-day life that some of your connections temporarily fall by the wayside, giving you a chance to recollect your thoughts. If your friend is unable to respect that, they may not be as good of a friend as you originally thought.
Facebook knows more about their life than you do
Finding out huge life changes through social media can be painful. If your friend didn’t choose to share this big piece of news with you – whether it’s an engagement or a promotion – before sharing it with the rest of their followers, ask yourself why that might be. Perhaps, you’re simply not as close as you believed.
You mentally argue with them
We’re all guilty of it – coming up with witty argument hours after the issue has passed. However, if this is a constant thought process of yours, it shows that this person weighs heavily on your mind – for all the wrong reasons. You should never be stuck in an endless negative cycle about someone. If you are, it may be time to let them go.
You don’t jump to help them
When your friend asks for help, do you rise to the occasion, or do you hope that someone else will take on the task? If your first thought isn’t to help them, you may not like this person as much as you thought. There’s nothing wrong with protecting your energy, but ask yourself why you feel the need to protect yourself in the first place.
You feel as though you’re moving on
Sometimes, you can feel yourself moving on from a friendship before it’s truly over. People come and go in our lives, with some relationships serving as lessons for our greater good. If you’re feeling this way, don’t just ice your friend out. Explain to them how you feel. Who knows, it may end up saving your friendship.
You ignore special occasions
At the start of your friendship, you may have always sent birthday or anniversary cards, ensuring that your pal felt loved and celebrated. Nowadays, you may miss the occasion altogether – without a shred of guilt. Times change, and so do friendships. Perhaps this one has simply run its course.
Your lives are now very different
As we grow and mature, life can take us in many different directions. Some friendships are unable to withstand these changes, with differing lifestyles resulting in the connection crumbling altogether. It’s sad, but sometimes it’s just a fact of life. True friends, however, will remain by your side through thick and thin – no matter what life throws their way.
Everything is always about them
There are some people that make everything about them – never once asking how you are. You may claim it doesn’t bother you, thinking it’s just who they are as a person. Over time, however, these selfish traits will begin to cause cracks in your connection. Friendships only work if they’re two-sided, after all.
They get jealous of your other friends
A jealous friend is the worst kind. You may ignore this toxic trait, but it’ll eventually catch up with you. If they’re constantly begging for your attention, growing jealous whenever you see other people, there’s a real issue here. You’ll end up keeping them at a subconscious distance, spelling out the beginning of the end.
You feel as though they’re your responsibility
While you should aim to nurture your friends, you shouldn’t be their sole source of fulfillment. If this person relies on you too much, you may feel as though you’re responsible for their emotional welfare. This is an unhealthy dichotomy, which will lead to many issues further down the road.
Conflicts are left unresolved
Arguments are a natural part of life, present in every relationship. It’s how you deal with these conflicts that truly shows the mettle of a friendship. If these fights are always left unresolved, with both parties harboring onto lingering resentments, it’s doubtful that the friendship will stand the test of time.
You always have to be right
What’s more important to you – your friendship, or being right? If you find yourself always needing to have the last word, it shows that you value your sense of entitlement over your connection. Equally, having a friend who always tries to prove you wrong can be highly triggering – so approach this friendship with caution.
You feel trapped
No friendship should make you feel trapped. Feeling confined to the cages of a friendship can result in fiery emotional outbursts, severing the connection in two. If you do feel as though your pal is being overly reliant on you, voice your feelings, telling your friend that you need to take some space. If they’re a true friend, they’ll understand.
They don’t respect your boundaries
Boundaries are hugely important in both platonic and romantic connections. After all, if someone doesn’t respect your views, how can they respect you as a person? If you have a friend who is constantly crossing these perimeters, your friendship isn’t as strong as you may believe.
You keep trying to change them
Sometimes, you simply need to accept people as they are. Forever trying to change someone shows that you don’t actually like them for who they currently are, but rather for the imaginary person you’ve built up in your head. Stop waiting for people to correct their ways – accept them as they are, or move on.
You don’t feel the need to tell them things
When you get some life-changing news, who do you run to? If this particular pal doesn’t make the cut, they may not be as important to you as you once thought. If you’re treating this person as an afterthought – someone you merely engage in small talk with – how is the friendship truly enriching your life?
They trigger you
You should enjoy time spent with a pal – that’s the whole point of being friends, after all! If you feel constantly triggered when you’re in their company, however, it’s your brain raising several red flags. If they put your nervous system on edge, it’s probably best that take a break from this particular pal, assessing why they cause such an overt reaction.
Something just feels off
If something feels off, then listen to your gut. This person may be showing their true colors, exhibiting behaviors that you never noticed before. Don’t feel trapped in the connection – air your concerns. If they’re truly your friend, they’ll be willing to discuss any issues you may have. If not, then you’re better off without them.