1. You don’t want to spend time with them
When you are in love with your partner you want to spend time with them as much as possible. So, if you feel like you no longer want to spend time with them anymore, or you actively wish not to spend time with them, this is a good indicator you probably don’t love them anymore.
2. You’re not thinking about them constantly
Love can do crazy things to you, and one thing is for sure, the person you’re in love with be on your mind constantly. Elvis even sang a song about such things! If you don’t find yourself thinking about your partner constantly, it’s probably unlikely that you are in love with them; you might like them a lot though.
3. You find excuses not to see them
People in love want to spend as much time together as possible, so if you are looking for reasons to bow out, this is generally not a good sign. Of course, you might not be in a position to be seeing them all the time anyway, especially if you don’t live together. But, if this is something you’re actively looking to get out of, this might be a bad sign.
4. They aren’t your go-to person for advice
Being in a relationship with someone tends to mean that they are your best friend as well as your lover. And, if your partner is not your go-to person for advice, this might be an indicator that you don’t love them. This is especially pertinent if you have had other previous partners give you advice on your life.
5. Intimacy is not as appealing to you
Intimacy is a key part of love, and wanting to be physical with one another is a big part of this. So, you need assess how you are approaching this, and if intimacy is not something that is appealing to you anymore, it could be because you don’t love your partner. And this might be something that changes over time.
6. You don’t feel like there’s a spark
Look, nobody is expecting there to be a spark every time you are in your partner’s presence and this is something you shouldn’t expect, realistically. However, if you love your partner, you will mostly feel as though there is a spark when you are together, and you will be thinking about ways in which you can keep that spark alive as much as possible.
7. You compare them unfavorably to others
It is natural to be comparing, this is part of human nature. However, when you are in love, you accept that your partner won’t be perfect in every way, but you love them for the person they are. If you are comparing too negatively, too much, with others, this could be a sign that you don’t love your partner.
8. You aren’t proud to be with them
You should be proud to be with the person you love and if you realize you are ashamed or embarrassed of them, then this is not a good sign. Mentally and emotionally checking out of the relationship, or hiding your partner, is one of the biggest indicators that you are not happy with the person you are with, and you certainly don’t love them.
9. Worrying about them becomes less common
When you love someone and want to be with them all the time, you worry about their well-being. This is perfectly natural, and is especially true if you don’t live together. So, if you find yourself caring less about how they are, what they are doing, or what might happen to them, this is one of the signs you probably don’t love your partner.
10. Planning dates is no longer on your to-do list
Date nights are an important part of being in a relationship and spending quality time together. This is something that many couples like to make time for, and if planning dates is no longer on your agenda, this could be a sign that you care less than you used to about your partner and your relationship.
11. You’re only there because you think they can’t be without you
One of the worst reasons to stay in a relationship, and one of the biggest indicators that you don’t love your partner, is that you stay in the relationship because you think they can’t cope without you. This is guaranteed to be a recipe for disaster and unfair on both of you, so you need to rethink if you are only sticking around for this reason.
12. When you think about the future, they aren’t in it
One of the biggest indicators that you are no longer in love with your partner is that when you think about the future, they are no longer in it. Partners who are in love will think about the future together, and make plans, even in their heads, about how things might look in the future, and if you aren’t doing this it can be pretty definitive.
13. Picking fights becomes more frequent
When you are not in love with your partner, you are more likely to be accommodating when it comes to arguments and fights. So, whilst it is perfectly normal for couples to argue and fight, if you are picking fights more frequently than usual, maybe take a step back and consider why. Try to avoid fights as much as possible or raise issues in a calm, communicative manner.
14. They aren’t your priority
When your partner is no longer your priority in life and in the things that you do, this is a pretty good indicator that you don’t love them. You both need your own independence but, once you start making more selfish decisions and only thinking about yourself, this is the beginning of the end.
15. You complain about them all the time
Another strong indicator that you are no longer in love with your partner (or you never loved them to begin with) is that you constantly complain about them to others. Pointing out your partner’s flaws to friends and family is an indicator that all is not rosey in the garden, and this can lead to problems.
16. The reasons you’re with them have changed
When you get with a person and start dating, it is usually because you feel a connection that you are looking to explore. However, if you find, a ways down the road, that the reasons you’re with them have now changed, this could be an indicator that you don’t actually love them.
17. You don’t argue anymore
Whilst constant fighting and rowing could be an indicator that you no longer love your partner, another sign could be that you don’t argue anymore. This is something that can illustrate aloofness or a lack of interest in the relationship. Lack of arguments could indicate indifference… and suggest you don’t really care.
18. They don’t feel special to you
When you love somebody they are the most special person in the world to you and you will treat them accordingly. You feel they are special to you, and shine more than anyone else. Once you begin to see them as just like every other person, with zero stand out qualities, this is a pretty clear sign you no longer love them.
19. Criticisms become commonplace
On of the biggest indicators that you are not in love with your partner is that you start to criticise them more frequently. This is something that can be a slow and gradual process that will happen over time but, once it starts, is a pretty good indicator that you are no longer in love with your partner.
20. You feel more at ease when they aren’t around
If you feel nervous, on edge or anxious around your partner, this could be an indicator that you no longer feel about them the way you used to. This is something that can happen once you drift apart, particularly if the relationship has become toxic, and it’s important to reassess things as soon as you notice this happening.
21. You’re glued to your device constantly
If you find you are constantly glued to your device, and that you use this as a way to pass the time when you are with your partner, this could be a sign that you don’t love your partner anymore. When your device is eating into communication time, this is never a good sign.
22. Physical distance is appealing
Something else you need to think about is the fact that physical distance becomes more appealing when you are no longer in love with your partner. You don’t want to spend time with them anymore, and physical distance is one of the core ways of being able to implement this.
23. You begin an affair
Beginning an affair or at the very least considering one, whether emotional or physical, is pretty definitive proof that you don’t love your partner anymore. Affairs are a big betrayal of trust, and can be highly destructive to a relationship, so this is something that is definitely best avoided.
24. There’s nothing in common… and that’s now a problem
They say opposites attract, and this is often the case when it comes to relationships. Having nothing in common isn’t necessarily a problem… until it is. You need to understand are what point you are dissatisfied with a lack of common ground, and this is something that can be a dealbreaker for those who don’t love their partner.
25. The relationship isn’t salvageable in your eyes
If you still love your partner, you will want to make the relationship work no matter what. Viewing the relationship as being unsalvageable is typically a red flag that all is not well, and this is likely to be an indicator that you are not actually in love with your partner anymore, even though you may feel like you are.
26. You feel the need for a break
Without meaning to go too ‘Ross and Rachel’ about things, wanting to take a break in a relationship is never a good thing. If you are feeling the need for a break, whatever the reasons, this is one of the indicators that you probably are no longer in love and that you should probably cut your losses and leave.
27. You’re making lots of new friends
Making friends is absolutely a good thing but, if you are doing it too much, it could be a bad sign. There are so many things to consider when making new friends, and if you’re making a lot of new friends in a short period of time, this could be a sign that you are trying to escape spending time with your partner.
28. Throwing yourself into new hobbies and interests
New hobbies an interest should, of course, be encouraged, as they can positively impact your life. However, you need to make sure you aren’t spending too much time on these new hobbies and not enough time with your partner. If this is something you are doing, it might be a sign that you no longer love them.
29. Work becomes a welcome distraction
Work can become the dominant force in our lives if we aren’t careful. But, if you find that work is a welcome distraction from your life, and that you are using it as a comfort blanket to escape spending time with your partner, this is pretty conclusive that you no longer love them or see a long-term future with them.
30. You move from “we” back to “I” again
When you get into a relationship and fall in love with someone, you tend to go from an “I” to a “we” as you are now a serious couple. However, when you are no longer in love with a partner, you will subconsciously revert by to thinking and referring to situations and things as “mine” instead of “ours” and “I” instead of “we.”
31. You can recognize you’ve fallen out of love
One of the biggest indicators that you have fallen out of love with your partner is that you recognize this fact. A lot of the time people are in denial about the fact they don’t love their partner, so if this is something that you recognize and have come to terms with, it’s probably pretty definitive.
32. No progress in the relationship
Has your relationship hit a brick wall? If it has stalled and you feel like there is very little progress, this is probably a big indicator that you are no longer in love with your partner. Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut with very little progress? If so, this could be time to cut the cord and end your relationship.
33. You don’t enjoy time together
Nobody is suggesting you have to love every second of the time you spend with your partner but, if you aren’t enjoying at least the vast majority of the time together, this could be a clear sign that you don’t love your partner. Being able to enjoy the time you spend together is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
34. You feel unappreciated
If you feel unappreciated and that your partner is taking you for granted, this is something that might indicate you don’t love them. Relationships are about give and take, and doing things for your partner just because you want to is the cornerstone of this. Feeling that your efforts are no appreciated could be a sign of cracks appearing.
35. Lack of effort becomes the norm
Lack of effort implies disinterest and apathy, and this generally signals the slow end to a relationship. If a lack of effort is something that has become the norm for you, this could be due to the fact that you no longer love your partner. Not making an effort with your appearance, or in the way that you treat them, is a big red flag.
36. People flirt with your partner more in front of you
Something else that could signify that you don’t really love your partner is that other people flirt with them in front of you. They might be reading your energy and body language, and think that you are not in love and therefore not a ‘real’ couple, and this is something you need to look out for!
37. Friends start to notice the relationship cracks
Your friends are often very perceptive of your relationship situation, and if they are noticing cracks starting to appear, this could be a sign that you don’t love your partner anymore. Having a strong and solid relationship is typically indicative of a strong emotional bond that comes as a result of love.
38. You live in the past
Pining for the past and idealizing either past relationships, or the early days of your current relationship is generally something that should be cause for concern. This suggest you don’t love your partner anymore, and that you are thinking about a time when you were happier and more fulfilled.
39. You forget important milestones
There are plenty of key milestones to think about in a relationship, and if you are forgetting these, you need to ask yourself why. Forgetting something like a birthday or anniversary will only typically happen if your mind is on other things, and your partner is no longer your priority anymore.
40. Seeing them upset doesn’t affect you
Seeing the person you love upset and in pain should cause you to also feel distress and upset. If you find that you are unaffected by your partner being upset, this is something that might suggest you are no longer in love with them. You should be moved by seeing this and want to comfort them.