They don’t care about your emotional welfare
If your partner doesn’t care about your emotional welfare, why are the two of you even together? The entire point of a relationship is to nurture, support, and uplift each other. If your spouse is too self-centered to ensure that you’re happy, it’s unlikely that they even like you as a person – let alone love you.
You feel alone
Nobody should feel alone when they’re in a relationship. If you’re experiencing feelings of loneliness despite having your boyfriend or girlfriend by your side, something is clearly amiss. It’s your partner’s responsibility to ensure that you feel wanted and valued, after all. If you don’t, they’re clearly not upholding their half of the bargain.
They never open up to you
Relationships are built on intimacy, love, and trust. If your partner rarely opens up to you – keeping their feelings bottled up inside – it’s a clear indicator that they don’t trust you enough to let their guard down. If there’s no trust in the relationship, it can be hard for love to blossom.
They don’t respect you
Respect and love go hand in hand. You can’t love someone if you don’t respect them. Respect comes in many forms, such as attentive listening, their actions lining up with their words, and valuing your time. If you constantly feel disrespected by your other half, it’s likely that they hold little love for you.
They don’t make any effort
When you love someone, you want to give them the moon and the stars – going above and beyond to make them happy. If your spouse only provides the bare minimum, it’s unlikely that they’re head over heels in love with you. Grunting greetings and sending short text messages aren’t enough to sustain a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
They blame you for everything
If your partner is constantly blaming you for everything that goes wrong in your relationship, they likely hold hidden resentment towards you. Where this resentment stems from is unique to each individual, but one thing is clear – if they’re forever pointing the finger at you, making you feel small and unworthy, they’re not in love with you.
They rarely compliment you
It’s a sad fact of life that romance fades out the further you delve into a relationship. However, if your spouse rarely – or even never – compliments you, it may be because their love for you is dwindling. This rings especially true if your partner used to shower you with sweet nothings at the start of your relationship, whereas now you’re only met with radio silence.
They pretend to be busy to avoid you
When you’re in love with someone, you want to spend every second of the day by their side. If your other half is forever making up excuses as to why they can’t spend time with you – but they spend a huge chunk of time with other people – they’re clearly no longer in love with you.
They’re only in the relationship for the attention
This can be hard to spot. Sometimes, people string others along just because of how good they make them feel – not out of love. Pay attention to the give and take in your connection. Are you giving more than you get? Does your partner only call on you when they need their ego stroked? If so, it’s likely that there’s little love here.
They make you feel dependent on them
People who make others dependent on them are master manipulators. If your spouse says phrases like “You wouldn’t be able to cope without me”, or “You won’t find anyone else like me” – run for the hills. They’re tearing down your sense of self-worth, while ensuring that you’ll forever emotionally rely on them.
They only text you when they want something
If days go by without any contact, and then your partner hits you up asking for a favor, it’s likely that they’re using you – especially if this is a frequent behavioral pattern. Pay attention to how your partner acts when they want something – if there’s a huge contrast from their usual mannerisms, they may simply be taking advantage of you.
They’re only with you because they’re afraid of being alone
It happens all too often – people shack up with others out of a fear of loneliness, not out of love. Signs of this behavior include an inability to talk about the future, treating you as an option, and ignoring your clearly-defined desires. A relationship that’s built on such a hollow foundation is likely to unravel very, very quickly.
They don’t respect your boundaries
Boundaries are incredibly important – especially when you’re in a relationship with someone. If your partner fails to respect your boundaries, it’s unlikely that they truly love you. After all, if you care deeply for someone, you’ll do everything in your power to make them happy.
Arguments erupt when you try to express yourself
You should be able to express your thoughts, fears, and emotions freely in a relationship. If your partner constantly explodes whenever you bring up how you feel – minimizing your emotions – they clearly don’t value you as a person. Usually, this behavior comes from someone who is unable to effectively process their own thoughts, showing someone who’s emotionally immature.
There’s no talk about the future
Failing to plan is planning to fail. If your partner awkwardly changes the subject whenever the conversation focuses on your future, there may be something deeper going on other than a fear of commitment. Sometimes, it can be as simple as them not being in love with you – wanting to keep their options firmly open.
They don’t introduce you to their friends or family
Being introduced to your partner’s family is a big step, showing that they consider you a part of their most intimate unit. A failure to incorporate you with their nearest and dearest shows that they don’t envision your relationship lasting the long term, particularly if you haven’t been introduced after being together for a significant amount of time.
They always put you down
Insults disguised as jokes, unnecessary digs, and dismissing opinions are all quick ways to destroy anyone’s self-esteem. If your other half exhibits these behaviors, it’s likely that they’re using you as an emotional punching bag, releasing all of their pent-up emotions on you. Needless to say, this means that they don’t truly love you.
They cheat on you
Obviously, a cheating spouse isn’t in love. Regardless of their excuse, there’s never a need to cheat – no matter how much they may claim that they love you. Infidelity is a surefire way to destroy anyone’s sense of self-worth. Nobody that’s truly, deeply in love with someone will subject their spouse to such torturous mental anguish.
They no longer say “I love you”
The start of your relationship may have been filled with sweet nothings, with your partner forever whispering confessions of love in your ear. Nowadays, you’re lucky if they even ask how your day was. If this is the case, take their actions at face value. If they’re not telling you that they love you, it’s likely that their feelings are fading.
They’re always defensive
A partner that flairs up at the slightest things, erupting into feisty arguments over nothing at all, is likely hiding something. Usually, they’re hiding their slowly dwindling feelings, leaving them feeling as though they’re trapped in a loveless, dead-end relationship – but they’re too scared to take the necessary steps to properly move on.
They see their friends more than they see you
It’s healthy to have connections outside of your relationship, forging an identity away from your partner. However, if it seems as though your spouse values these other bonds more than they value the one they have with you, they’re likely just using you as a placeholder – waiting for someone they truly love to enter their life.
They never check in with you
It’s a strange feeling – being with someone, yet still feeling as though you’re alone. This can stem from your partner never checking in with you – rarely asking how you are, never querying about your day, seldom texting you just for the sake of it. If this sounds relatable, it’s likely that your partner isn’t truly in love with you, and that they’re just stringing you along.
They don’t engage with you
If your other half constantly zones out when you’re talking to them, they obviously don’t hold you in a high regard. Active, purposeful listening is a key sign that someone’s in love – with the listener hanging on their every word. A distant glaze is exactly as it seems – they couldn’t care less about what you’re saying.
Dates are non-existent
Dates naturally fizzle out when you’ve been in a relationship for a while, with the courting stage naturally coming to an end. However, if your relationship has no dates whatsoever, it could spell the beginning of the end – particularly if they always make excuses or shoot down any romantic ideas you share with them.
They have no interest in your friends or family
One of the earliest signs of someone falling out of love is a sudden disinterest in their spouse’s friends or family. If they were once close but suddenly ignore texts – or even delete them from their social media – they’re taking the initial steps to distance themselves from you.
They make big decisions solo
When you’re in a relationship, you should work as a team, leaning on each other through the good times and the bad. If your spouse lives their life as if they’re single, making important, life-changing decisions without so much as consulting you first, it shows that they see you as being secondary to themselves.
They never compromise
Compromise is vitally important when it comes to matters of the heart. As much as you often don’t want to budge, it’s important to find a common ground from which you can learn from. If your spouse never compromises, always making you out to be the bad guy, it shows that they value their own ego above your feelings – showing a lack of love.
They forget important events
Sometimes, your partner may forget about dates that are important to you – it’s just a fact of life. However, if they repeatedly forget Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, or your birthday year after year, it shows that they’re more concerned with their own life than your relationship, displaying a distinct lack of care.
They ignore you
This one cuts deep. Feeling as though you’re being ignored is one of the most painful things you can ever experience – particularly from someone you love. They may not even realize that they’re doing it – being too wrapped up in their own little world to even consider your need for attention. Regardless of their motive, it shows a significant lack of love.
They don’t even bother to argue
Sometimes, conflict is preferable to the silent treatment. Arguing at least allows both parties to get any issues off their chest, ultimately ending in some form of conflict resolution. A partner who’s completely checked out will often refuse to argue, absent-mindedly nodding their head to simply keep the peace.
They hide things from you
A relationship should be built on trust and transparency. If your other half is forever keeping things from you, it shows that they don’t value you enough to let you in on their deepest secrets, leaving you on the outside. If they truly loved you, they’d include you in every aspect of their life.
They compare you to others
A relationship is a rare, special thing, where two people choose each other based on how they make them feel. If your spouse is forever pointing out your flaws, willing you to act more like their friends, they don’t truly love you – they merely love the idea of you.
They threaten to leave
A partner who frequently threatens to leave at the first sign of struggle is emotionally abusive. They make these threats to keep you tied to them, forcing you to accept their less-than-favorable behavior. Next time your spouse claims that they’ll leave – let them. You’ll be better off without them.
Your relationship is boring
Every relationship has its ups and downs – it’s natural. However, if your relationship feels stagnant, as if it’s never going to go anywhere, it may be due to a lack of love. The butterflies you experienced at the start of your relationship should never go away. If you’re finding yourself feeling bored in your connection, it may be due to a lack of love.
They tell lies
A spouse that lies shouldn’t be trusted. Worse still is if you call them out on their fibs, only to be met with denial, conflict, or a display of dramatics. This highlights a clear absence of true love, as a partner who’s utterly, deeply, and truly in love will never lie to you.
They never, ever apologize
Nobody’s perfect – everyone makes mistakes during a relationship. However, it’s what we do after these mistakes are made that reflects who we are as people. If your spouse gets defensive, switches the blame onto you, and never, ever apologizes, it shows that they value being right more than they value you.
They don’t support you
Support is hugely important when it comes to love. If your spouse constantly dismisses your goals, laughs at your dreams, or reduces your self-confidence, it’s clear that they don’t love you. If there’s a lack of support in your connection, there’s little reason to be together.
They want space
Let’s be honest – “space” is just code for “let’s slowly break up”. Sometimes, taking some time apart can strengthen a relationship. More often, however, it’s a way to take the first step in splitting up – softening the blow through empty promises and vague words about reconciliation.
They flirt with other people
If you frequently express distaste at your partner indulging in so-called “window shopping”, yet they quite obviously flirt with other people in front of you, it’s clear that they don’t respect you – let alone love you. Of course, this depends on your individual boundaries and your specific relationship.
There’s no intimacy
Every relationship encounters its dry patches every now and then. However, a frequent lack of affection and intimacy usually reflects how your partner feels about you. If they no longer give you kisses on the cheek or embrace you in their arms, it’s usually because they’re slowly but surely falling out of love.
Their actions don’t line up with their words
Your partner may claim that you’re the most important thing in their life – but then proceed to spend every night out drinking with their pals, leaving you home alone. If you notice a significant disconnect between what your partner says and how they act, their words may be empty, used to merely string you along out of fear of being alone.
They gossip about you
Your other half is supposed to be your safe place, your sanctuary out in the big, wide world. If they gossip about your faults and flaws to their pals, spilling intimate, private details, they clearly don’t respect you. If they don’t respect you, it’s highly unlikely that they truly love you.
They don’t care about your achievements
If you tell your partner that you’ve got a promotion, only to be met with eye rolls and a vacant reply – it’s likely that your spouse doesn’t truly care about you. Your other half should be your biggest cheerleader. If they aren’t, their once frequent feelings of infatuation are likely fading fast.
Your relationship feels different
If in doubt, go with your gut. If something just feels off, your subconscious mind is probably picking up on subtle cues that your conscious brain misses – be it a change in body language, a difference in tone, or a constant variance in their mood. If something feels off, it probably is.
You’ve both changed
People change – it’s just a fact of life. As sad as it may be to accept, sometimes, people simply outgrow each other – no matter how much love once blossomed. If you’ve both changed, you simply may not be the same people that you both fell in love with.
They make you feel inferior
Your partner should uplift you – not put you down. If they’re forever making you feel small by downplaying your achievements, comparing you to others, or dismissing your opinions, they don’t love you. If they’re exhibiting these toxic behaviors, their lack of love will quite possibly end up being the best thing that’s ever happened to you, allowing you to move on with your life.
They never get jealous
This one only applies to certain connections – ones where their partner always exhibited a strong sense of jealousy. If they always acted somewhat possessive or protective of you, and out of the blue their behavior changed, there’s likely something deeper at play. Perhaps they don’t care about you anymore, or someone else has caught their eye.
There’s no communication
This is different from being ignored. A lack of communication means a complete breakdown of the relationship – in the most subtle ways possible. They may stop asking about your day, or they could stop discussing deep matters of the heart. Whatever the case, no communication spells the beginning of the end.
They’re not interested in your interests
Of course, not every couple has to share mutual interests. However, the least your partner can do is feign interest – if it’s important to you, it should be important to them. If they dismiss everything you get excited about, it may be best to leave the relationship altogether.
They put you down in front of others
It can be incredibly hurtful when your spouse makes jokes at your expense in front of their friends. Worse still is when they act affronted by your emotional reaction, claiming that you’re “over-reacting” or “being dramatic”. In reality, they’re using you as their emotional punching bag, holding little regard for your emotional welfare.
They keep secrets
There should be no secrets in a relationship – particularly if you’ve been together for a significant period of time. Hushed nighttime calls, hiding their phone, or late-night jaunts are all telltale signs of someone who’s being unfaithful. If they aren’t, they should have no issue laying all of their cards on the table, keeping an open line of honest communication.
They act hot and cold
One day, they could be the sweetest partner you’ve ever had. The next, they’re cruel and callous – leaving you wondering where you stand. The truth of the matter is their actions reflect the battle in their own mind – should they stay, or should they go? If they’re debating your future – but aren’t mature enough to discuss it with you – you’re likely better off without them.
You’re not their priority
It should be you and your boo against the world. If not, something is clearly amiss within your relationship. Although they should have the freedom to be their own person, they should also work with you as a team – with you both elevating each other. If this isn’t the case, they’re either emotionally immature, or they’re falling out of love.
Everything you do annoys them
Whether it’s forgetting to change the bin, how loud you talk on the phone, or the way you breathe – if your partner is always finding faults with you, you may not be to blame. Instead, it’s likely that they’re frustrated at feeling stuck in a relationship. Rather than taking the adult course of action and breaking up, they’re taking out their frustrations on you.
You’re trying to change each other
There’s no use trying to change a person. They are who they are. Hanging around in a relationship, endlessly waiting for them to change is a one-way road to disappointment. Love is wholly accepting a person for who they are, warts and all. If you’re trying to change your partner – or vice versa – there’s a clear lack of true love.
They’re always unhappy
Sometimes, a sense of deep unhappiness in a spouse can come from the relationship itself, with them feeling dissatisfied, trapped, or unloved. Instead of cutting ties, many people choose to remain in a loveless relationship, thinking unhappiness is a safer course of action than being single.
Your arguments cut deep
Every couple experiences their fair share of fights – it’s a natural part of being in a relationship. However, if your partner always chooses words that could kill, forever going under their belt with their sharp insults, it could mean that they don’t love you. After all, you’d never want to truly, deeply hurt someone you think the world of.
They erupt over small things
If your spouse gets enraged over minor issues, taking their aggression out on you, it’s time to run in the opposite direction. Nobody should have to stand for verbal or mental abuse – especially not from the person they love most in the world. If your spouse is always shouting at you – they don’t love you, no matter what they say once they’ve calmed down.
They avoid eye contact
Once upon a time, your partner may have spent countless hours staring into the depths of your eyes, getting lost in your gaze. Nowadays, you’re lucky if they so much give a glance when you say hello. If this resonates, it’s clear that they just aren’t as into you as they once were, creating a loveless relationship.
You always say “I love you” first
Once you notice it, it’s hard to unsee it. If you’re always the first one to say “I love you”, with your partner reciting the same phrase back to you out of mere obligation – take their actions at face value. If they never go out of their way to remind you of their affection for you, it’s likely that the love doesn’t exist.