The greatest gift your parents could ever give you is an older sister. With that gift comes a love that is so strong, nothing can separate the ties you have with each other. She will defend you, lie for you, take the blame for you and love you even when you’re being a complete idiot.
As proven by That 70’s Show, you don’t ever want to mess with a big sister. And if you do, so help you, God. Aside from the terrifying wrath pissing off one of these creatures entails, having an older sister is pretty awesome. Here are a few reasons why.
1. She gave you all the “grown-up info.”
Like why tampons looked like toys but weren’t. Or what the phrase “use protection” really meant. She helped take some of that awkward responsibility off of your parents shoulders and relayed to you in a not-so-uncomfortable-way…most of the time anyway.
2. She helped you learn boundaries.
Remember the days when you wanted to play with her and her friends so badly, but she wouldn’t let you? So you ran to your mom and begged and begged until she was forced to include you? Yet, once you were included, torturous games like “Doctor” made you change your mind. This lesson taught you boundaries and personal space etiquette. You should thank your sister. These lessons will take you far in life.
3. You can speak what’s really on your mind.
“When you wear that much makeup you looked like a plastic hooker.”
No filter needed.
4. She can help you get a job.
She’s older than you, so naturally she’s already been through the process. She can help you decide which places will treat you the best and make you an awesome resume. She can also give you a heads up on what internships to apply for.
5. She gives you advice. Honest, advice.
She tells you what she really thinks of your significant other and gives you her opinion of your stupid friends. She has no problem telling you to change your clothes before going out in public “looking like that.” Sometimes it may come off as harsh, but she only wants the best for you and isn’t afraid to tell you straight-up when your best is falling short.
6. She wore out your parents.
So you came home two hours past curfew drunk. No big deal. According to your parents, in their experience, the world will continue to turn, so why exhaust themselves trying to punish you? After your sister’s teenage phase, anything you do looks like a walk in the park. You can thank her for using up all the punishment in the house.
7. She loves you even after you project your anger onto her.
Your friends would leave you, but she has no choice but to love you anyway.
8. She’s the responsible one.
She’s responsible for you, therefore anything you do is her fault. Yup, you take zero blame. She’s the influence and you are just the innocent victim powerless to make your own righteous decisions. So have a ball! And when you’re done, all you have to do is point your finger at her.
9. She lets you stay at her place.
Even after you purchase tons of movies OnDemand, leave her kitchen a total mess and eat all of her food.
10. She drove you everywhere before you got your license.
Which made you look super cool. What kid can say they get lifts from a college student? You’re welcome.
11. She won’t rat you out.
Not when you get visitors sneaking into your room at night, not when you’re flunking English, and definitely not when decide to experiment with pot.
12. She gives you a good image.
Teachers loved her, the community respects her and employers still remember her. All of this looks good on you, because of course you share the same fabulous qualities. (Yours are just slightly weaker than hers).
13. She doubles all of your stock.
Video games, movies, cool magazines. Even the pool toys and popsicles are doubled. Not to mention the cute clothes she adds to the closet, not that she will want to share them with you.
14. She lets you copy her.
She gives you her old book reports, her favorite hangouts and ever her old school campus hideouts.
15. She defends you.
She can say whatever she wants about you, but if anyone else has something less than perfect to say, she will kill them. Painfully.
16. You can vent to her about your family.
She understands, and can even agree with you when your parents are being totally dumb about stuff. If anyone else were to agree, it would be offensive, but not when it’s your sister. She just gets it.
17. She supports you unconditionally.
Even when no one else will buy your fundraiser cookies or laugh at your jokes, she will always be the one to step forward. Whether you look funny or not, she will proudly walk beside you.
18. You can play house with her.
Probably the only person who would play this with you for hours when you were a kid, was your sister. Now, she will have you over for dinner and send you home with leftovers and some super cute apartment decor she doesn’t need anymore.
19. Your parents almost always say “yes” if you say you want bonding time.
“Mom we need money to go to the movies because we haven’t got to spend any time together this week and we both really want to see the new Hunger Games.”
20. She gives you good dating advice.
How you should be treated, who to stay away from and the best places for a romantic date.