11. You have no confidence or self-esteem.
Your partner knows your weaknesses and he goes after your most vulnerable parts, hurting you where he knows it will do the most damage. You feel bad about yourself. You feel ashamed, lost, alone, confused, numb, afraid, crazy, stupid, ugly, fat, worthless, embarrassed, unloveable, wrong.
12. Your partner tortures animals, is mean to children, or nasty to waitresses.
He might hit or kick your dog whenever he comes over. He might set traps for squirrels or rabbits and then torture them. He or she might be mean to people they think are “below them” or people who are defenseless, like babies or children. A healthy person is consistent in the way they treat people, regardless of their status.
13. Your partner has a bad reputation or a tradition of “messy relationships”.
He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them. They might talk about cheating on an old partner, or be proud of their reputation. They might speak badly about a previous partner, claiming that their previous partner was crazy, or a b***h, or an asshole. Other people might warn you about dating your partner–if they have a track record of abuse, most likely it is only a matter of time until they abuse you.
14. Your friends and family wish that you would break up.
You might get mad at people for trying to convince you to break up with your partner, or make excuses for your partner because you are convinced that you are the only one that understands him or her. Your partner will play into this, claiming that other people are just jealous of what you have or are just trying to bring you two down.
15. Your partner has a sense of entitlement.
He or she feels entitled to act the way that they do. For example, if someone hurts them, they feel they have a right to retaliate. If a teacher fails them, or a coworker says something bad about them, they feel entitled to revenge. Or, if they do something nice for you, they feel entitled to a reward, and if you don’t do what they want, they are entitled to punish you.
16. Your partner embarrasses you in front of other people or talks badly behind your back.
He or she might spread nasty rumors about you. They might talk to other people about how bad they have it and how hard it is to date someone like you. They might call you fat in front of your friends, or make fun of your clothes. They might lose their temper in the middle of a restaurant because they think you are flirting with the waiter. They might bring up personal issues at inappropriate times.
17. One and one never add up to two.
You’re not always sure what the problem is, but things never add up. Nothing seems right. You never feel like you know the whole story. You don’t understand what went wrong, or why your partner acts the way they do or what you can do to make things better. If you follow what they say, things still don’t get better. If you work hard to fix one thing, they will find something else that is wrong. Even if you were perfect, your partner would make you out to be completely messed up. If he or she does something that is clearly wrong, they will find a way to turn it back around on you. If they hit you, they will make you feel like it was because of something you did wrong. If they cheat on you, they will blame it on something you couldn’t provide them. If you catch them lying, they change their story….You start to feel like you are playing a game to which there are no rules and there is no way out.
18. Your partner has to know where you are and what you are doing at all times.
Miss a phone call from your partner? They will accuse you of cheating. Talk to a member of the opposite sex, they interrogate you about it. Come home an hour later than usual? You better be ready to explain where you were and what you were doing and why you were doing it. He or she might spy on you, check the messages on your phone, talk to your friends without you knowing, have people “check up” on you, hack into your email account or Facebook to see who you are talking to. They might tell you you are not allowed to hang out with a certain person anymore, or wear a certain shirt, or go to a certain restaurant. Of course, your partner is allowed to do whatever he or she wants and you are not allowed to question them, but they will control everything you do.
19. You feel sorry for your partner.
Because they have a depressing family life, come from a broken home, had parents that didn’t love them right, are in debt, can’t hold a job, have a disease, a psychotic ex, a broken heart, low self-esteem….whatever their story is, they will make you feel sympathy for it. A lot of times, these stories are sad. They are heartbreaking. But they make you feel like you have to stay with them no matter how they treat you, or that they can’t help the way that they act. As real as they might be, and as sad as they might be, they are a trap that keeps you stuck. You can’t control what happened to them, and you can’t solve it for them.
20. Your partner is the life of the party.
They are charismatic. Charming. A smooth talker. They always have the a comeback, or a joke. They can be funny, easy-going, exciting, attractive. They can also be magnetic. You feel a pull to them, and they make you feel special. Eventually, this might turn into arrogance. They act as if they are the smartest, hottest, richest or most successful person and everyone knows it. They will even tell you this if they get the chance.
Click below if you wish to share this with your friends.