This article originally appeared on gosocial.co
Got to work off that slice of cake
Most weddings are glamorous affairs, but ivory white dresses, overflowing bouquets and silver trays of fancy food aren’t everyone’s idea of a good time. For some, there’s no better way to celebrate newly minted nuptials than by ploughing through mud, crawling under rope bridges or scaling huge wooden poles.
We hope he can swim…
Some things are a fate worse than death – and one such thing is going to a wedding by yourself. On a day that’s all about celebrating a loved-up couple, surrounding by their loved-up family and friends, there’s nothing that could remind you more of your loneliness. In fact, it’s enough to make you want to jump into the sea and begin a new life as the King of Atlantis.
Keepin’ it classy
The 2011 movie Bridesmaids was marketed as a gross-out comedy about women screwing the rules and going their own way – and given it was a smash hit, it’s no surprise that many real-life bridesmaids followed suit. Just take this picture of some absolute edgelords (edgeladies?) for example.
Here comes the booze
Weddings are joyous, but they’re also stressful – and there’s no question that the two people at the centre of the whole affair are the most stressed-out of all. So we aren’t going to judge this blushing bride for taking a quick break and indulging in a few vices outside the house of God.
Speedos for every occasion
How much for the wedding package? Well, it’s a lot cheaper than you might expect. The thing is, when you opt for romantic pictures on the beach, you have to realise that some crass members of the public will actively try to ruin things for you.
You can see the love in their eyes
Shoving a ring on to a finger is harder than it looks. You obviously want to buy a ring that fits snugly, so your expensive investment doesn’t end up falling down the sink drain, and the sweat and stress of the day itself can make adorning your new spouse a lot tougher than it looks. Unfortunately, this picture has captured the flash of panic that’s not so uncommon in these situations.
Was this how the picture was supposed to go?
Let he who has never wanted to jump into a lake on their wedding day cast the first stone. What could be better than ruining your outfit with ditchwater, being soggy for the rest of the day, and looking like your internal organs have exploded in all of your wedding pictures?
Here’s a question for you: is this funnier if it was a surprise, or if it was planned? Given the formal attire and earnestness of the people in the foreground, this would seem like the work of a ne’er-do-well prankster, dressing up as the infamous striped fugitive for kicks.
Luck of the drawers
Look at this. It’s hilarious. There’s not an unhappy face in the house. There simply isn’t anything funnier than oversized underwear. And we’re meant to believe they belong to this bride? Simply preposterous. These are the undergarments of a bear, or a smaller-than-average elephant.
Blue milk, legs like silk
We’ve all played the wedding game where you feel up an old man’s leg, right? All you need is a blindfold and a common or garden old man who’s willing to roll up his trousers and let you cop a feel. Bonus points if he’s drinking blue milk like Luke Skywalker.
Just checking out the view…
There are some images that make you think: if only the photographer had panned over to what those guys are looking at. And this is certainly one of them, with these two people being absolutely transfixed by whatever is going on out of frame and not by the wedding of former Trump political adviser Stephen Miller.
We’ve all been there
All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown) and the skies are grey (and the skies are grey). I’ve been for a walk (I’ve been for a walk) on a winter’s day (on a winter’s day). I’d be safe and warm (I’d be safe and warm) if I was in LA (if I was in LA). Wedding man third wheelin’ (wedding man third wheelin’) on such a winter’s day.
We just wanted one serious photo!
You might think this is some kind of prank on an unassuming bride, but the real story is pretty clear: the left strap on the bride’s dress fell off – a sartorial catastrophe – so a distraction was necessary. Thankfully, these bridesmaids were more than happy to rise to the occasion.
The happiest day of your life?
Weddings are emotional affairs. The thing is, people handle intense feelings differently: some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, and others wear their hearts in the deepest possible pit within the human soul, far from the prying eyes of friends, family, and therapists.
He’s at max level now.
What’s a wedding without an Xbox reference? Short answer: a good wedding.
In all honesty, it’s a cute reference for a couple who are both gamers, but the father of the bride doesn’t look too pleased. Must be a Playstation guy.
Marking his territory now there’s a new man on the block.
It seems trendier than ever to get the family pets involved in the big day, but it’s clearly not without risks.
It’s really not such a big deal – you’re never going to wear your wedding dress again, so you might as well let everyone have a wazz on it. Go wild. Start a new, damp tradition. Here comes the urine, and all that.
He’s afraid of birds
You know that traditional, extravagant moment when the bride and groom release doves as a dramatic symbol of their love? Well, spare a thought for Keith. The doves were actually drafted in at the last minute – the original plan was for the happy couple to throw Keith over the bridge. He’s been totally upstaged.
And when you can’t afford doves…
When it comes to weddings, nothing could be more romantic than doves. But have you tried raw chicken? Here, bride and groom can be seen flinging two headless, pink carcasses into the air, perhaps in the vain hope that these will – like their marriage – take flight, rather than just crash down to earth in an unholy splatter.
When you figure out what his intentions with your daughter are
This here old-timer’s long enough in the tooth to have attended a shotgun wedding or two in his time, but he’s got completely the wrong end of the stick on this one. A blunderbuss is supposed to be for forcing a bride and/or groom into marriage, not to threaten the husband-to-be out of one!
Is planking still a thing?
It was a wonderful ceremony; the location was perfect, the flowers were beautifully arranged, bride and groom looked immaculate, and the exchanging of the vows went entirely to plan, at which point the priest uttered “My work here is done” and ascended up to heaven, rear-first. Glory!
Didn’t think Speedos would appear again, yet here we are…
Some people find the kinds of fancy clothes you’re required to wear for a wedding restrictive, but this seems to overcorrect too far in the opposite direction. I can’t imagine that kid will ever grow up and ask to look at the beautiful wedding pictures of his parents’ big day, and they will probably be very strict on the dress code come their own wedding.
We can’t even fathom an explanation for this one
I’ve no idea at what point in the wedding process this happened: the bachelor party? The reception? Some kind of pre-ceremony ritual? Either way, everything from the costume to the wigs to the pole and the tiny stage and keyboard in the background is completely baffling. Maybe the best men just wanted to get in on the first dance action?
Who wants a slice?
It’s difficult to tell from this angle what exactly we’re looking at here: A cake made to look like a turd? Or some brown slug? Is this the back end of intergalactic crimelord Jabba the Hutt? Whatever the case, we know for sure that it’s a total failure of a wedding cake.
Setting the mood
Talk about stealing the couple’s thunder! This kind of thing isn’t supposed to happen until the wedding night. But what can you say, weddings are high time for impromptu displays of feeling. The crazy thing is, these two dogs weren’t even invited!
A bride’s wedding day priorities are: 1) get glam, 2) get drunk, 3) get married, usually in that order. That last part she has to do herself, but the bridesmaids are there to take care of the rest. Girls: prepare the dress; pour the wine; shave my pits.
OMG girl it is gorgeous!
These bros forgot the cardinal rule of bro-dom: groomsmen aren’t supposed to get emotional at the wedding! Emotions on wedding day are for the bride and her bridesmaids, not the groom and his hard-drinking entourage. Now put that ring away and hit the free bar before anyone sees this mortifying display of feelings!
She doesn’t look too concerned…
A gorgeous cake is the cherry on top of a perfect wedding, but this one looks ready to come crashing down. This poor couple didn’t even have the chance to grab a knife and get a slice out before it all fell to pieces, and there’s no way the toppers or the frosting could recover from a fall like that. Hopefully, it still tasted good!
His head’s going to hurt the next day for all the wrong reasons
Partying too hard is an essential part of a wedding, but it’s not quite clear what’s happening here. First of all, what kind of wedding guest (or even a groom) wears white jeans and a white shirt to the ceremony? Second of all, were the other guests throwing him around “for he’s a jolly good fellow” style? Thirdly, is he ducking, or did his head go through the plasterboard?
Feel sorry for him for what must have happened 0.5 seconds after this was taken
There’s always one guest that ruins a wedding, whether it’s by snoring their way through the ceremony, getting drunk and hysterical at the reception, or deciding to wear white just to spite the bride. However, stepping on someone’s veil, especially when it’s clipped into their hair, is a surefire way to not get spoken to at dinner, or invited back for the renewal.
Their hearts will go on
A wedding over the water might sound like the most romantic thing in the world, but it definitely comes with risks. Namely, the bride falling in the water in a dress that they probably spent 1000s of pounds on, and potentially taking the entire bridal party with them. Thankfully, the best men’s instincts were good enough to grab the ladies as the pier collapsed, or this could have been a really soggy wedding.
It’s normal for the best men to have a bit of a laugh on the big day, and that can include some pretty inventive ideas when it comes time to take the pictures. Depending on your view, this is either the funniest way you could think of to immortalise the groom’s upcoming nuptials, or it’s incredibly tacky. Let’s just hope none of them were actually following through on what they were acting out.
Travel in style
At the end of every classic romantic movie, there’s a scene where the happy couple ride off into the sunset to start their lives together, usually whilst riding some kind of idyllic vehicle. Usually, that means a vintage car or a horse and carriage, but this couple bizarrely opted for sitting in the bucket of a digger…. on a sofa for some reason.
That poor, poor dress
If a wedding has one enemy, it’s mud. However, this bride is clearly wearing wellies, so she was obviously prepared. Maybe she cancelled the first dance in favour of a first quad bike ride, or maybe she just wanted to make sure she got her use out of the dress before hanging it up for good.
Bet you money she fell
There’s nothing more romantic than a beach wedding… in theory. Sun, sand, bare feet and glowing skin, followed by a sunset walk along the beach and some kind of fruity drink. The reality is more likely to be this: falling into the freezing cold water, realising that sand is basically just mud with a different chemical composition, and not being able to get it all out of your hair for weeks.
The cake says it all
Getting married is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but you’d never know that from looking at this cake topper. While it can be cute to make mutual jokes about the ole ball and chain and your upcoming married life, this sort of joke could also make everyone at your wedding uncomfortable while they try to figure out just how joking you actually are.
When you double book your wedding day and Halloween party…
What do you do when you have a wedding ceremony at four PM but there’s a zombie breakout at noon? You carry on of course! Either that, or this bride just wanted a ceremony that was as spooky as it was spectacular. I wonder what their first dance song was – Thriller?
Do you think he said the wrong name?
Plenty of couples fight on their big day, due to the heightened emotions, early start and very little time set aside to eat, let alone relax. However, most brides don’t take off their heels in order to kick their new husband into the water, no matter what they do to spoil the event.
People often joke about who really wears the pants in any given relationship, but this cake topper is a pretty significant indication. Right down to the fact that the groom has to hold the bride’s flowers, since she’s too busy carrying him around. Or maybe, she’s going to throw him into a crowd of bridesmaids along with the bouquet?
Not so sure about the Converse
Have you ever heard the phrase “dragged to the alter”? Well, it’s definitely true in this case. Not only does the picture make it seem like the groom is not too thrilled to be getting married, but his footwear makes it clear that he’s ready to run at the first given opportunity. Maybe he’s fleeing because there seem to be two brides in the group?
Food is one of the most important parts of a wedding, especially when it comes to guest satisfaction. However, not every wedding needs a three-course meal or even a fancy buffet – some people are perfectly happy with square burger patties and tiny pickle chips. The bride certainly seems happy at least!
The facial expressions are perfect
For any bride and groom, the ramp-up to the vows tends to be the most stressful part of a wedding, with the first toast being the time when everyone can kick back and start celebrating. However, popping the champagne can apparently be fraught with trouble, leading to explosive consequences but very memorable wedding pictures.
Out of all the inventive best men photoshoots on this list, this one might be the most creative. It definitely takes the idea of a Bridezilla to the next level, since this bride could crush all the best men under her heel with one final crunch. I wonder how long it took her to find a dress that would fit?
They said she could only get married once she’d grown up…
They say on your wedding day you stand a little taller, simply knowing that you’re about to start your new life with the person you love most in the world. This is definitely true of this bride, who is glowing so much that her bridesmaids seem positively short in comparison.
Keeping things brief
Let’s face it: at weddings, it seems like the women have all the fun. A lot of thought goes into matching bridesmaid dresses and co-ordinating everything. For the groomsmen, it just tends to be dark suits and inoffensive ties. Boring!
That’s why these weddinggoers have spiced things up with matching boxer briefs. As they say in the army, no man left behind…