There is no comparison to feeling the spark of attraction between you and someone you just met – sure. On the other hand, security is huge for us ladies and what makes a woman feel more secure than a man who knows you best? Granted, the transition from the friend box to the boyfriend field of dreams feels a little strange at first – but it doesn’t take long for the comforts offered from a list of “he already knows about __” to overrule any hint of awkwardness.
#1 He already knows what you are like when you have had a bad day
When we are first dating – we all pretend like we have it altogether and we never have a bad moment. But let’s face it — that’s totally no true. And one person’s “bad moment” may be nothing compared to another. So instead of you being free to be real, you downplay your insecurities or how you really feel. As friends, you already know each other. He is already fully aware of your personal weaknesses – but what he also knows is how to respond (not react) to them in a constructive way. He already knows where the grenades are – and if he has to step on one, he knows how to put you and him back together again. In the same way, you already know his quirks, likes and dislikes. It’s a two-way street that’s totally fun and safe.
#2 You already know each other’s relationship history
One is way less self-conscious telling the other about one’s past when they don’t feel there is something to lose. Chances are that you have already talked about the good, the bad and the ugly of past relationships. You probably know more about each other in that way than any future person either of you would date. Why is this? There’s a comfort level that tells us, “This person is safe,” and so we divulge a ton. With a new person we feel like we have to filter our content as we tell ourselves, “What if they reject me because of this or that?” We are not truly free yet with the new person. But with our close friend, the door is wide open! It is also wonderful to know what pitfalls to avoid – and how to please him as you’ll already know what makes him tick!
#3 You are very comfortable being around each other
This is huge. How long does it take to really get comfortable with each other? It can vary between people – but the short answer is that it takes a long time. Would you not wear make up in front of him? Eat out of the ice cream carton? Let one loose if you couldn’t hold it in? When you are friends first, the need to impress is dwarfed by the beauty of the mutual acceptance of who you really are. Feel your shoulders drop when you realize you don’t have to fake it to make it – you’re already there!
#4 You are totally excited to spend time together!
Dating your best friend might seem less glamorous than having a love at first sight experience, but what’s more frustrating when your heart is hooked and you still cannot decode his flirty signals? “Do you like me or not? My heart’s on the line here, pal,” you say to yourself. So rather than wasting time playing those silly games, you may be discovering the love of your life!
#5 There is always something to talk about – or not – and it’s totally okay
So we all know there is far more to us than just the hot-and-heavy physical aspects. After all, everyone gives that long “Isn’t that sweet” sigh when we see elderly folks who have been hitched for 50+ years. How do they do it? Realizing that the physical is the first thing to go is helpful. As best friends, you likely built a foundation in the very things that have kept that elderly couple together – you laugh together, grow emotionally, stimulate each other mentally, and explore spiritual journeys. It turns out that these are life-long aspects that one has no matter what age they are – body in tact or decaying by the day. So keep talking – keep exploring. There is always something to talk about – or not talk about – and the silence is not read as awkward by either of you. But as a couple – now you can cuddle, etc. and enjoy the other parts of each other. So talking or not…you are on a road that is likely to last for years to come!