Nice guys aren’t a challenge.
They don’t keep you on your toes or take you on this crazy roller coaster ride of emotions. They are just…well, nice. But why is that a bad thing? And why do women walk away from men who treat them with the utmost care and respect?
To all of you girls who walked away from the nice guy to date the jerk, or because you have commitment issues or because he was just “too nice,” I am writing this today to tell you that you are making a huge mistake.
I would like to start by saying that nice guys are essentially the best life partners you could ever want. They are the ones who will stand by your side when the world feels lonely, answer their phones at 3 am when you are too drunk to drive, and never give up when it comes to trying to make you happy. Isn’t this what women want? A man they can rely on to love them and continually prove it?
So many times the nice guy gets put on the back burner for the jerk. Which is totally ironic to me. Sure, maybe the jerk is fun and exciting but he isn’t relationship material. He won’t wipe your tears after a fight with your best friend or be there to talk you through a hard day. The point is, you can’t count on the guy who plays with your head. Sure he’s fun, but in the end, after he’s broken your heart one too many times, that’s all it was. Fun. Nothing more. Is that really worth all of the games and drama and ups and downs?
The other crappy thing about dating a jerk instead of the nice guy is that they tend to ruin your trust, therefore, when you finally do meet a guy worth your time, you end up not being able to commit because you’re afraid of being let down. You are so used to being messed with, lied to, ditched and lead on that you can’t seem to pull yourself out of that mindset to really commit to a healthy relationship. You have a guy who wants to be your best friend, your protector and your confidant right in front of you, but all you can see is your past dangling all of the let-downs in your face.
Stop dating jerks, girls. You deserve respect. You deserve happiness and trustworthiness. You deserve someone you can count on. But I can’t say you deserve him if he’s standing right in front of you and you decide to walk away to be with someone that you know isn’t half as good as him.
I think the biggest mistake women make in overlooking the nice guys, is that they want to have “fun” before they settle down. But what is this “fun” that you are looking for? And what kind of man fits into that category? A man who isn’t looking for anything serious? Who just wants to go out and have a good time and not have to answer to anyone? I get that. Everyone should enjoy their time without feeling the pressure to start a life together. But here’s the thing about nice guys- they actually want to make you feel comfortable. They want you to be happy with the way things are going. They can go out and have a good time with you without expecting anything serious, but still have the decency to make sure you get home okay or hold back your hair.
What matters the most is that you are upfront. He will totally appreciate it and understand that you just want to have fun before jumping into anything serious or that you may have trust issues. Remember, he’s nice, so he’s not going to run the other way or try to take advantage of the fact that you aren’t ready to commit.
Ladies, don’t lead him on or put him on the back burner because you know he will forgive you. Give him a chance, tell him your needs and put your trust into him. Nice men are always a good investment. Whether it is meant to be or not, at least you can say he cared about you all the way through. You can walk away or move forward with him knowing he would never intentionally hurt you, but always wants the best for you. Isn’t that much more worth it?