Boobage. We ladies all have a love-hate relationship with them. Some people think they are amazing and that we are so lucky to have them. But frankly, those people are likely rocking the A cup bras have no clue what they are talking about. Unless you have the experience of carrying around an extra 15 pounds on your chest, you really just don’t have room to talk. The truth is that as much as we love our extra assets, they can also be quite the hassle. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find business clothes? What about bathing suits? Or any item of clothing for that matter? It’s not easy! There’s a very thin line between looking cute and looking like we belong on a corner – this is a daily battle. There are unique set of problems associated with having big boobs, but at the end of the day, they are worth it.
#1 At Work
Trying to fit your girls into work-appropriate clothing either makes you look like a stripper or the Hulk – there is no middle ground. We all know, despite what the movies show, that cleavage in the work place is a no-go. There really should be a line of clothing for busty girls. It’s bad enough that the larger cup size bras are never as cute as the smaller ones – why make us suffer with our outer clothing as well as our underclothing? After all, we’d love to go straight to happy hours after work. We are the ones who keep adjusting our tits at the bar. Perhaps that is working in our favor actually…
#2 At the Gym
If only we could hang our boobies in the locker room while we get our workout on. And one sports bra is never enough – no matter how much money you spend on it. I still don’t know what extra “support” the tag is referring to. My girls still assault me in the face every time I do a jumping jack. And then you just know the guys are staring at your boobs in the mirror after you bravely trekked into the free weight area. And wearing a t-shirt is not an option. Do you know how suffocating that is? It is difficult enough to exercise as it is, but constricting your body just makes it worse.
#3 While on a Family Vacation
At last, it’s time to take a breather and go on your family vacation. Except there is one problem – your bathing suit selection. The last thing you and your Dad want is an awkward conversation while walking on the beach while you are totally rocking a barely-there bikini. Not sure who it is more uncomfortable for, him or you. But you can’t get a legit tan wearing a cover up and you know there’s absolutely no way in hell you’re wearing a one piece!
#4 Meeting your future In-Laws
This is probably the worst one. At last, the day arrives when you finally meet your boyfriend’s parents. There is no larger elephant in the room than the two on your chest. Nothing will ever be said, but you know both his parents know why he is with you. The mom tries to not roll her eyes and the dad attempts to make eye contact as the rest of the time is staring a foot lower. So how do you downplay your assets when trying to be family appropriate and make an impression? Probably shouldn’t ask me – I think that’s why I’m still single.
#5 During a round of golf
In the golf world, there seem to be two types of golfers: swingers and hitters. Swingers know how to hit the ball so that the club does all the work – it’s called club release. The hitters don’t know about this and try to hit the ball like they would a baseball with a bat. Now your hunnies are always in the way, so you have two options: squeeze ‘em or curve your back so your arm stays straight. Well…we know squeezing them isn’t going to work as the squish factor is pretty high and there’s no where to go! So that means that you curve your back – which also makes you a hitter rather than a swinger. This means your golf game sucks a big one – all the time. So your girls have now cost you the price of admission to joining the PGA tour.