Dear single men,
Recently I was chatting to a single friend of mine.
He is a good guy and all round genuine person. It had been a while since we had last met so we started chatting about his love life and his current situation. I was pretty confused to hear his current status is “Hanging Out”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“We’ve “hung out” a few times and she is pretty cool.”
“Oh you mean she is your girlfriend?”
“No we are hanging out. You know just talking?”
“Oh you mean you chat a lot on the phone and when you meet up?”
“Na its mainly texting but when we met there was some good chat.”
“Oh so it’s a new thing?”
“No actually its been going on a while but like I say we have only met a couple of times so we are you know “Whatever”
I have to say the whole conversation left me pretty confused. But then again I guess most of the sea of single men seem to be confused these days. Being single seems to mean you are in a constant state of confusion and have no idea what is going on even if you are dating a girl you like.
I guess that’s because most of you are too busy “hanging out.”
What is that, guys? How old are we?
Looking back over the last 100 years, we seem to have gone from courting to dating to now calling it hanging out. Sometimes it seems even hanging out is too much commitment for some budding couples. Even talking can sometimes just be a little too much. Maybe the next step will just be to be looking at each others photos but never actually communicating.
When did men become just pussies? When did they stop planning the future, making dates and telling girls they like them. What has happened to the red blooded men out there?
The term ‘Hanging out’ should be applied to spending time with our friends. So are you saying what you want form this beautiful woman you have your heart set on is that you want to be friends? Maybe she could even have more “friends” than you and you will end up sharing her.
So here is my suggestion. Lets all stop using the term “hanging out” to describe any kind of dating situation. It makes you sound like a teenager and to be honest, to hear a grown man use that term is just a bit embarrassing.
So if you are with me, lets agree it is time to change. It is time to man up and show women the respect they deserve by doing our bit and being proper men. When you meet a girl you like there are a number of key points you need to cover off in your head.
1. Define your terms.
2. Make clear goals together.
3. Be grown up and open with each other.
4. Don’t be afraid to speak about the future.
5. If things progress, use words like “long term’ and ‘marriage’
Be in it for a reason and let her know that is how you feel. Don’t make it an aimless waste of both your time.
Let me be the one to let you into a secret. Women like a man who knows what he wants and is not afraid to verbalise it. If that puts the girl off, the guys is better off without her anyway. She is a time waster and not even worth the energy.
Here is a harsh truth for you: If you are not ready for commitment, then it is time to damn well get ready and leave these ladies alone until you do. What gives you the right to go out.. I mean “Hang out” with a girl and have sex with her if you are not ready for commitment. Sex is a serious thing for a guy and even more serious for a girl so don’t abuse it.
If you are now an adult male you need to ask your self what you are waiting for. It is your time to man up and be serious about love. If you are not yet ready. that is fine but just don’t mess any women about in the mean time.
I don’t care what the movies or pages of a magazines tell you, any kind of romantic relationship IS serious and can really mess with someones mind. Whether you refer to it as dating, hanging out, hooking up or whatever, there are women’s heart involved. You therefore have responsibilities as a man to respect that.
This is a person that is making themselves available to you in every sense of the word. Man up and respect that and tell yourself, if you cant commit then do not lead her on.
It may sound harsh or no fun but the thing you need to realise is how much more there is to be gained from a proper loving relationship then there is chalking up notches on the headboard before leaving women confused and hurt in your wake.
Here is an idea. If you have been hanging out with a girl you like, why not call her up and talk to her. Take her out on a date. Say the words: “Would you like to come out on a date?” Then there is no confusion. Plan the date yourself. Women like men who know what they want “so waddaya wanna do tonight?” will not impress. Offer to pick her up at a set time. Pay for the meal. Talk to her and find out her interests. Be a gentleman. Open up to her and keep your phone in your pocket. Talk about ambitions, share your dreams with her and ask her hers. Take a risk, gentlemen. Go out on a limb for once. Be purposeful. Be desirable. Be a man.
In the past it was known as courting. It was a lot like dating, but with more of a point and less confusion. I think we should go back to those good old days.
So I say away with hanging out and hooking up. We’re grown men. They’re grown women. They deserve more, and so do you.