Falling out of love


While on the surface this seems quite devastating, it’s one of the healthiest ways a marriage can end. Everybody changes over time, and if those changes have made you feel incompatible with your wife it can be difficult to reconcile with. Many men struggle to come to terms with this and just feel they are in a rut.

A non-existent sex life

Credit: Ketut Subiyanto via Pexels

Sexual compatibility is essential for a healthy and long-lasting marriage, it’s also where a lot of relationship problems stem from. Dry spells are quite common for couples, but still, many men have filed for divorce after prolonged periods of inaction. The issues usually stem not from the lack of sex itself, but the lack of intimacy and feeling desired.

Feeling stagnant

Credit: Nathan Cowley via Pexels

A lot of men have stumbled into this situation, where marriage is more of a goal to achieve than something you really want. After a couple of years when the routine of married life settles in, you realize that you haven’t changed or grown as a person in the way you were expecting from something so important, which starts fostering resentment.

Jealous of single friends

Credit: Adrienn via Pexels

Sometimes all it takes is to see what you’re missing out on. This is usually triggered by a friend or co-worker going through their own break-up or divorce and experiencing the rush of energy and excitement that comes with a freshly single life. The jealousy prompts a lot of questions about your happiness in marriage and what you want in life.

The kids moved away

Credit: Mart Production via Pexels

The idea of deciding to stay together for the children can seem ridiculous, but it’s a state you can fall into in marriage without having ever said those words. It becomes clear that the only thing you work together on is raising children, and once they’re out of the picture, it’s obvious that there is nothing else compelling you two to stay together.

They didn’t support lifestyle changes

Credit: Ivan Samkov via Pexels

Big changes introduce a lot of new conflicts into a marriage. They can take up your free time and cost money, which are huge parts of married life. People can grow apart naturally over time, but a big change like seeking help for mental health or looking after your fitness can accelerate that because you want them to change who you are.

Resentment towards housework

Credit: Tamba Budiarsana via Pexels

Chores and housework are a pain, but they are impossible to avoid, especially in a marriage. Even understanding that it’s fair to divide the work doesn’t save you from the feelings that can build up when being you’re being told to do work while stressed and tired. After ruminating on why exactly, some men find it comes from a deep unhappiness with the marriage.

The dreaded mid-life crisis

Credit: jan saudek via Flickr

It’s not all about buying convertible cars and re-branding yourself. Men sometimes reach an age where they start feeling the decline of age, and that is terrifying to many people. It’s common to act out in a desperate need for change to find some external happiness, and a rut in a marriage can coincide with that and cause a man to impulsively end things.

Too dependent

Credit: Savannah Dematteo via Pexels

People let a lot of things slide early in the relationship, ignoring fears or concerns because discussing them would be difficult. Feeling under-equipped for life can lead to a lot of pressure on your marriage, which has to fill gaps in yourself that it shouldn’t. Even decades into a marriage, some men realize they never learned independence and want to experience that and grow.

Choosing lust over love

Credit: RDNE via Pexels

The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever, but it doesn’t have to completely disappear either. It’s possible to keep the spark alive, but sometimes the enticement of passion seems like a much easier way to feel that desire again. Whether you actually go through with it or not, the feeling alone makes you question the strength of the marriage.