This is a hard topic to touch on, but I feel like it is so necessary.
It seems there are so many beautiful, talented, smart and giving women all around me with one thing in common: they are all under the misconception that if someone loves them, they are so #blessed to have found someone to end their loneliness, whether or not that someone is a total dbag.
Of course, finding love is a wonderful thing and when you find someone who respects and loves you equally it really is beautiful. But, you’re not lucky that you just happened to find a good guy to love you. For crying out loud, you freaking deserve it!
Stop feeling so lucky to have him when most likely, he’s lucky to have you.
I hate when my friends tell me they are so lucky to finally be with a good guy. Shut up. No, you’re not. You finally just figured out how to pick a good one out of the crowd. Just because you’re a girl and society labels you as more emotional and more affectionate doesn’t mean that you are more needy or less worthy than anyone else. Men need good women just as much as women need good men. You ARE NOT lucky when you find one. You are smart. And deserving.
Most likely, this great guy you found feels lucky to have finally found a woman who has a lot to bring to the table. Let’s not forget that.
I remember one of the first things my boyfriend told me after our first date. He told me I was the first girl he’d ever gone out with who was genuinely interested in him and would actually listen to what he had to say without turning the conversation back to myself. And I remember thinking “He’s right. I really do try to listen to other people without shifting the attention back to me.” Later I realized that is a great quality to have. And I shouldn’t feel lucky to be noticed by a good man when I myself have a lot of good to offer too.
Stop acting like he’s your whole world, when the whole world is right in front of you.
I can’t decide if it makes me mad or slightly sad to see a beautiful girl with a world of talent get lost behind the shadow of her boyfriend. She has so much to say, so much to offer, but the minute she gets a boyfriend everything becomes all about him. As if she is so afraid of being alone that being someone else entirely is worth having a boyfriend to come home to. What a bunch of crap.
The world is out there waiting for you to take it. Your identity is so important because no one else will ever be like you! Go show the world what you can do, don’t hide your potential behind a man who can’t see it.
He’s not your savior; you can save yourself.
The world can be scary, yes. And the world can be lonely. It isn’t always easy to be alone, especially if your life isn’t treating you the way you prefer. But having a boyfriend doesn’t fix the world for you, and having a man doesn’t make you stronger. Don’t depend on someone else to fight your battles when you are far stronger than you believe. Fight for yourself. I promise you will be surprised. Fighting for yourself will only build your character and help you become a woman that you can be proud of; don’t let the fear of being alone stop you from having confidence in your own strength.