Have you ever read Bob Marley’s quote about suffering?

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“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

To me, this quote is quite applicable to being in love. It is true, isn’t it? That everyone will hurt you; the ones you love, the ones that love you, and most likely they won’t mean to hurt you. They just do. We’re all humans and we’re all guilty of hurting someone we love.

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So how do we know if someone who hurts us is really worth suffering for?

Here’s a little secret- “the only love worth having is the love worth fighting for”- another infamous quote that happens to be completely true. If you really love someone, and if they are of true worth to you, then you won’t hesitate to fight for them, even when it’s hard.

If you aren’t willing to fight for it, you don’t want it bad enough.

This covers pretty much everything in life. Goals, people, awards and so on. As human beings, we tend to want so much out of life. We thrive for things, love, affection, attention, money, success…the list could go on and on. The problem with all of these wants, however, is that we don’t always want to fight hard to make them happen. Well, how else will anything listed above happen if it isn’t fought for? The best things can’t be given away freely; they require effort and patience and persistence. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so rewarding, would they?

If you aren’t willing to take on the difficult and inconvenient tasks that these things require, then you don’t want them badly enough. And frankly, you don’t deserve them.

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If you don’t feel like fighting for it, then you’re probably going to get bored with it.

Now, I’m not saying stick to fighting all the time just to prevent getting bored with each other. That is not only exhausting, but also very unhealthy. What I mean by this is that love, real love, takes effort every day. Small sacrifices and compromises. Examples of your love may not always be easy to show, but they are definitely worth the effort. You have to fuel the fire of your relationship every day, and if you don’t feel like making that much effort then you won’t stay interested. Love needs regular attention every day.

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The only things of true importance are the things we fight for.

Not many people have to fight for themselves the way humans originally had to before we had grocery stores and housing. Sometimes, we aren’t sure how to fight for something because we aren’t afraid of ever losing it. But, if you were to lose everything, what would you miss the most? What couldn’t you bear to let go of? What would you fight for over and over to keep? The answer will be the things that are of most importance to you, and if your relationship is one of them then you know it’s worth the fight.

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But what if it isn’t?

If losing the person you’re with doesn’t scare the hell out of you, then you shouldn’t be with them. Being in a relationship should mean that you enjoy that person and care for them as much as they do you. You should protect, defend and support each other equally. This is what causes the reassurance and security that is a necessary feeling when you agree to share yourself with someone else. Anything less feels like abandonment. So if that other person didn’t come to mind when thinking of things you couldn’t lose, they deserve better.