We all know the scenario – the girl who keeps holding on to a relationship that should have been let go a long time ago.

We have sat down with her and had something along the lines of the following conversation…

Girl, what are you doing to yourself? You know better. You are a strong, independent woman. You are not weak. You are not that girl who lives below her own standards. The more you keep hearing the truth, the more it seems you refuse to accept it. It’s like you keep telling yourself that if he really loves you that he will finally stop hurting you. But deep down, you know it’s not possible – it will never happen. You recall the callousness in his voice when greeting you and the rushed goodbye as he nearly pushed you out the door. When you were together, his arm is around you but he is nowhere near you. At times, you wonder if he even sees you or knows who you are. On the one hand, you keep telling yourself he’s worth it, but when you try to count the ways, you end up listing all the reasons why you don’t want to be alone.

Sound familiar? This is pretty much the plight of every woman who has a man she has difficulty letting go of. We all have this one person – this one man who treated us horribly and yet we could never let him go. If you are not sure whether you have someone like this in your life, here are some signs that you are probably not in a good spot…

This person broke your heart with one text, but you still wait by the phone for him to contact you.

To you, his silence says as much as his words, and his texts are worth its weight in gold.

You constantly keep your phone on just for him; Every ring and vibration sends your heart up through your throat. But it’s never him and definitely never anything you wanted to hear.

His incredibly slow responses, half-answered questions and 2 am booty calls are all monuments to your pathetic defeat.

He seems to be crazy about everything but you.

He has no problems whatsoever spending $300 on concert tickets or staying out until 2 am before giving you a call. He’ll be damned, however, before he buys you dinner or stays in with you on a Friday night.

He never feels the need to make excuses, so you jump in and do it for him. For example, he never tells you why he didn’t call, so you tell yourself. He’s busy, he’s tired, or he lost his phone.

You are his apology, his forgiveness and his make-up sex. Only thing is that he’s the only one experiencing the sex….again…

And here’s the really sad part. He is the one you compare every other boyfriend or boyfriend-to-be to; yet he never thinks twice about you. In your mind, he is on every date you go on and every bed you lay in.

Is there a happier side to this?

You bet there is. It’s called self-discipline and a good friend – one that would have had the conversation shared earlier. Just like when you have difficulty cleaning our your closet so you call a friend to come over and help…she has no attachment to your stuff so it’s easier for her to help you clean up shop! A good friend will also help you not answer those calls anymore. Or wait for him. They will set up barriers for you to help you through this. Of course, you will want to be rid of that man once and for all!

The next man in your life will not be haunted by memories from the past. Moreover, you will also be able to detect if there is a woman he has not let go of either. Living in a haunted house…or a haunted heart in this case…is not fun for anyone. The best thing to do is face what you need to face and get someone else involved so they can cheer you on to victory. One by one, you will start kicking out the reasons why this other hurtful person no longer has access to your heart and mind. Eventually, your heart will heal and your head won’t even turn at the mention of his name. It is all entirely possible…just wait and see!