There is pretty much no worse feeling than thinking your partner has lost interest in you.
That sinking feeling that he may want to move on and that he may want to be with someone else can make you sick to your stomach. It causes irrational reactions on our part and can even lead to feelings of depression and anxiety.
In some cases it is clear he has just lost interest and want’s to date other people. In other cases the initial “spark” or magnetic feelings can just fade away under the layers of daily monotony.
Maybe you have just become TOO comfortable with each other and have both stopped putting in the effort.
In case you don’t know what the heck I am talking about, let me elaborate a little. In almost all relationships, at the 3-6-month mark we become accustomed to the daily telephone calls, the date night activities. What I refer to is the routine. While in most cases the woman is fine with this, without realizing it, things can become a little boring and monotonous for the man.
At this point, the true love is really setting in. Those exciting feelings and responses such as replying to text messages lovely well thought out messages or making those extra efforts subside in place of more important things.
At this stage the woman often starts to want and feel more security, however the man needs to know they can provide the security while still maintaining a certain level of freedom. They often start to remember the level of independence and freedom they had before the relationship started.
This causes a dilemma.
As these perspectives of the man and the woman are pretty much opposite to each other, the man can start to lose interest and unfortunately often does if he feels stifled in any way.
You therefore need to quickly ask yourself a number of questions:
Have you stopped being the fun, spontaneous, exciting woman you were mere months ago?
Were you less needy or demanding of another person’s time?
Who were you before you came to the relationship?
Did you offer to pay on dates more?
Did you take more of an interest in calling or texting first
Have your conversations become redundant?
If he’s starting to get a little fussy or complain more the usual, it’s time to switch it up.
Here are our tips to help you along the right path:
You must have your own life outside of the relationship.
Keep in touch with your old friends and also your family. Plan at least one activity each week that doesn’t involve your partner.
Try to save some of your bitching for your friends
You know the feeling. You get home from work or school at the end of the day and spend an hour or so unloading all the frustrations onto your partner. It can be a good idea to write things down or pick the phone up to an old friend from time to time.
Try to go a day without a super long conversation or seeing one another.
Clearly this will depend on your living situation but when you are away from each other doing new things, the space will grow new topics to talk about when you get together next.
In no way do we want to point any fingers with this post. It is up to both parties to maintain a healthy relationship; It is however a common occurrence for men to lose interest after that first spark subsides a little.
Just try to remember, in the first instance he chose you. He liked what you had to offer and wanted more of it. Keyword- you.
Don’t be fooled into thinking he wants you to mould into a different version of yourself – agreeable, tame, domesticated and almost robotic.
The raw fact is, if he is devoted, he is only attracted to an ever-evolving version of the woman you were when you first met. This should not however stop you from evolving and constantly growing into the best version of you that you can be.