How to Completely Ruin a First Date

You might have seen this post pop up in your news feed and though to yourself, ‘I’d better check this out so I can avoid making these mistakes’ OR you might have clicked on it because you thought, ‘These tips could be a handy way to get out of an already awkward date!’ either way, if you do any of the things on the list below, you’re guaranteed to be going home alone.

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1. Get clingy

Half way through the date start asking questions like, ‘So where do you feel like this is going?’ or ‘does this mean we’re a couple now?’.  You might even try mentioning ‘next time’ as if it’s a given that date 2 will go ahead. Give your date a pet name, like pumpyumpkin. Insist on saying throughout the night, particularly in front of other people.

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2. Being insincere

If your complementing is far too over the top, you’re going to look fake and no one wants to date fake. If you really want to put someone off take things further than they could ever imagine, don’t just tell your date that they look great, tell them the look ‘simply stunning tonight, more beautiful than any man/woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.’ Watch their face drop when they realise that what you’re saying to them just isn’t true. Way to make your date feel uncomfortable.

3. Being insecure

When/if your date compliments you, do not graciously accept that compliment, make a drama out of it. Insist that you don’t look nice, that you look fat or that your nose is too big. Point out that you put too much product on your hair or that your shoes are scuffed. Really go to town slating your appearance and when you’ve finished end with, ‘basically I just hate myself.’ Watch as your date slowly steps away.

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4. Be arrogant

Talk about yourself constantly, mention how you are better then other people. Don’t bother to ask your date anything about themselves and if they try to talk about themselves, bring the conversation back round to you. Be rude to waiters, bar staff and anyone else you come across on your date. Make a fuss about the wine or where your table is situated. Let everyone know that it’s nothing but the best for you.

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5. Be odd

Rather then tell interesting or funny anecdotes, tell very bland, even pointless stories, but tell parts of the story in an accent. Your date will laugh, out of utter awkwardness, but use this laughter as a cue to continue with the story, making the night get more and more uncomfortable.