We all know easy it is to meet a guy and fall in love, yes?! Sure, if you’re a Princess living in a fairy tale perhaps! For the rest of us the road to happy ever after can be pretty bumpy. In fact even finding our Prince is a near impossible challenge at times! But, let’s say we have met that special guy that we just know would be perfect for a long term commitment, then we want to do everything we can to make sure we get our happy ending.
Unfortunately guys are wired differently to us girls and sometimes it is beneficial for us to understand their perspective on things, not least on how they might view us in a relationship situation.
If you know what it is that makes a guy fall in love then maybe you can be one step ahead in helping seal the deal. If you know you’ve met your perfect match and want to make sure he is on the same page, there are a number of magic key ingredients that all combine together to help create a recipe for success in the love steaks.
If you know what it is that helps secure his love and devotion you can feel a little more reassurance and control when it comes to predicting his behaviour towards you. It could finally mean an end to those feelings of bewilderment when who you thought was your perfect soul mate suddenly ups and leaves you out of the blue, despite you doing everything you thought possible to keep them interested. From always looking at your sizzling most sexiest, behaving like a domestic goddess around the house and fulfilling his every need and desire, there are so many behaviours and practices that us girls think if we pull them off to a 100% effort then we will have him falling head over heels with us, eating gout of our hands and heart.
But the real truth of the matter is a different story. It could even be that focusing on these so called ideal ‘girlfriend’ behaviours is actually only serving to push him away and taking us away from what it really is that would have us heading down the aisle before we know it.
What we need to do is channel our inner fabulous self and remember all our great qualities and most of all to be true to ourselves.
Be MORE than the expected – make the relationship be more than just about sex! As great as it is to have a mutual lust, a partner looking at the long term will be looking for much more than just a physical connection. They will know they can get that many times over without even trying, but finding that deep emotional connection with someone is a much harder task and is what separates the casual from the committed. Ensure you are not regarded by them as a sexual plaything or they will immediately start to show you a lack of respect and take advantage and stop regarding you as a potential long term prospect.
Value your INDEPENDENCE – don’t be clingy and immerse yourself too much in the relationship. Don’t let it define you or absorb you. If you are clingy and over dependent on a partner, rather than it come across as flattering that you need and rely on them so much, it actually translates as insecurity, which is actually an unattractive trait to a significant other and can make them feel claustrophobic within the relationship.
In fact, when you can live, and enjoy living life without them, that is likely to be the time they realise they can’t and indeed don’t want to, live without you.
Let them MISS you – The phrase ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is a well-known saying for a reason – that being it is true! If you demand too much of someone’s time and attention you are at risk of not only smothering them but of also creating a situation which leaves you both unable to get a balanced view of how you feel about one and other. If you never allow the opportunity to miss each other you can end up taking the relationship and each other for granted, plus living in each other’s pockets is not going to be sustainable for the long term. You need to make sure there are times of space between you where you can get on with your own life. If you don’t let your partner have time with friends and pursuing their hobbies they will begin to resent you. If you give them time apart, they will enjoy their leisure but likely will start wondering about what you are up to and consequently will look forward to seeing you and will put more effort into the relationship as a result.
Make him feel GOOD! – Cliché as it sounds, men love a good ego boost! There is a Neanderthal element to most men and as such they respond much better to girls who let them behave like a true bloke and feel like a man! We’re not suggesting you revert to caveman times (or even pre feminism!) where a man ruled the roost, but we are saying you could ease up on the nagging, lay off the mothering and try and bite your tongue to prevent arguments – all of which of course we know won’t last a lifetime but we’re talking here about getting a loving relationship established. Once he’s signed up for the long haul there’ll be plenty of time to iron out those ‘creases’ and establish appropriate do’s and don’ts for your relationship! For now, value him like and equal and focus on being his best friend and his lover.
If you can follow all of the above, we’re sure you will have him declaring his undying love in no time!