Practice empathy
We forget to put ourselves in others’ shoes all too often – especially when it comes to our loved ones. If an issue comes up in your relationship, try and see it from your partner’s perspective, dropping your subjective opinion on the matter. Their feelings are just as valid as your own, after all.
Be attentive
When you’ve been together a while, it can be easy to let the little things fall by the wayside. Small gestures of appreciation go a long way, whether it’s buying flowers and a box of chocolates, or being emotionally attentive. You could give your partner a hug for no reason, or simply ask them how their day was. The little things can make a big difference.
Communicate
Communication can make or break a relationship. Effectively communicating with your partner not only allows you to express your needs and concerns, it also can bring your closer as a couple, strengthening your bond. Remember to communicate in a calm and collected manner to avoid any unnecessary conflict.
Be a team
Teamwork makes the dream work! Contrary to popular belief, relationships don’t always have to be a 50/50 split. Sometimes, your partner will only be capable of bringing 20% of effort to the table, meaning you’ll have to step up to take care of their emotional needs. Likewise, you’re bound to have your down days, relying on your partner to boost you up.
Don’t assume the worst
If you assume the worst in your partner, eventually they’ll prove you right. Thinking that they never value you, then feeling validated when they act accordingly is no healthy way to have a relationship. Instead of assuming the worst and sulking, communicate. At least that gives your partner the option of changing their behavior.
Let past issues go
Every couple argues, it’s just a fact of life. What’s more important is how you deal with the argument after the fact. There’s no point resolving an issue, then bringing it up again weeks later, using it as ammunition to throw in your partner’s face. Once an issue has been resolved, let it go. Both your relationship and mental health will benefit from it.
Stop finding fault in everything they do
Subconsciously, we occasionally look for an argument, finding an excuse to let out pent-up frustrations that have built up over time. For example, you may pick a fight over housework, when really the underlying issue is that you feel like your needs aren’t being met. Don’t let your insecurities take over – be upfront and honest with both your partner and yourself.
Refrain from gossiping
The whole world doesn’t need to know the issues within your relationship. If asked how your other half is, keep it light – only go into details with one or two trusted pals. Outside influences can drastically influence a relationship that’s on the rocks. Worse still, your words may have a way of coming back to haunt you.
Show gratitude
Gratitude is an underrated relationship saver. As time goes on, we tend to feel less grateful for our partners and take them for granted amidst the day-to-day mundane. If your partner does something nice for you – even if it’s making a cup of coffee or doing the washing up, thank them!
Don’t let your insecurities get in the way
Don’t try and read between the lines. Taking everything at face value is a calmer, more mature way to connect with your partner, instead of second-guessing everything they say or do. Equally, don’t say one thing when you secretly mean another, hoping your spouse can somehow read your mind. In a healthy relationship, there’s no room for mind games.