The concept that marriage is something that all women have to look forward too is somewhat scary to me.

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Can I really imagine myself cooking and cleaning and taking care of children for the rest of my life?

Image Credit: EliteDaily
Image Credit: EliteDaily

 

There really is a split in our society where women take two different stances on life. You have the “wifey” material women and then you have the Taylor Swift type of women. As I approach my mid 20s I began to realise that I probably am not wifey material and here are 50 reason why:

1. I can’t cook.

2. I don’t want to learn how to cook.

3. F*ck it — you’ll end up cooking for both of us.

4. I’m messy.

5. If you don’t want to hire a nanny, you’re not going to wed me.

6. I have absolutely no desire to meet your mom.

7. I have absolutely no desire to come second to your mom.

8. I still make “that’s what she said” jokes.

9. We can’t go anywhere without seeing a guy I’ve hooked up with.

10. I prefer my space.

11. I’m a straight-up crazy bitch.

12. *Crazy* runs in my genes, and I wouldn’t want to pass that on to our poor children.

13. I NEVER want our parental selves to go through what my mom went through in raising me.

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14. I don’t really care for diamonds; I’m more of a “feed me cake” kind of girl.

15. I’ll flirt with your friends.

16. …. that is, if I haven’t hooked up with them already.

17. Having sex multiple times a week is overwhelming to me.

18. Not having enough sex is even more overwhelming to me.

19. I kick the people who’ve made the unwise decision to share a bed with me.

20. I’m terrible at being “sexy.”

21. I don’t like to entertain; I like to be entertained.

22. I won’t shave my legs for you every day.

23. I repeat: The razor is not my friend.

24. I don’t believe lust can last forever.

25. I have a visceral reaction to wearing white.

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26. In fact, I can’t wear white at all.

27. I don’t want to drop a sh*t-ton of cash on planning a wedding.

28. I go to weddings only for the open bars.

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29. … and to scout out potential lovers (I can’t help that I always keep one eye open).

30. I will blow all of the money you make on clothes and shoes for myself.

31. Sometimes married people get divorced. That possibility scares the sh*t out of me.

32. How can I open up to you when I can barely open up to myself?

33. I can’t imagine sleeping with the same person forever.

34. I like to drink.

35. I still spend a full day of my weekend too hungover to leave my bed.

36. I cannot and will not stay sober for NINE MONTHS.

37. I won’t stay home and be one of those doting moms; I’m a workaholic.

38. I HATE children (demons, all of them. Filthy little demons).

39. If we did have kids, I wouldn’t help them with their school projects.

40. I refuse to make the bed every morning because there’s no f*cking point.

41. I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING BUTT-RELATED WITH YOU. EVER.

42. I talk to myself.

43. I talk too much.

44. Sometimes I don’t talk at all.

45. I like to write about my feelings more than I like to talk about them.

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46. I like to receive more than I like to give.

47. Sometimes, I don’t give a flying f*ck what I look like. Don’t expect Angelina Jolie up in here.

48. Because I work at Elite Daily.

49. Because I wrote this article and shared it with the Internet.

50. And because I’m a selfish, unapologetic woman, and I’m sorry that I’m not sorry.