A positive outlook
According to the founder of Mindview Psychology, “people in successful relationships have a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative thoughts about their partner”. Therefore, it’s crucial that you have a positive outlook on your relationship with your other half, and if you believe that’s impossible, maybe it’s time to have a chat with them!
Kindness during times of conflict
You may not always see eye-to-eye with your partner, but this doesn’t mean you have an unhealthy relationship. The difference between an unhealthy argument and a healthy argument is how you handle the conflict. Work through your differences together, using empathy and kindness as a way to get your point across.
Independent interests
Everyone wants to spend as much time with their partner as possible, but spending that time apart is actually how most relationships last. If you have different interests or a different groups of friends, then this allows you to have your own space from your partner and appreciate the time you do spend with them more.
Emotional safety
To provide someone with emotional safety is to provide a judgement-free zone, where they can be vulnerable and express their opinions freely. This ensures that you can speak to each other without fear of rejection due to providing unconditional love. This lets you have conversations with one another and get your thoughts and feelings across properly.
A compatible sense of humor
Having fun with one another is a great way to make the relationship feel happy and alive. It lets you avoid having the same conversations with another and instead have diverse chats where you can laugh and have fun. A study found that couples who create laughter together are often more satisfied in their relationship overall.
Acceptance
Accepting your partner for who you are gives you both the opportunity to grow not only themselves, but also grow together in the relationship. It allows each of you to become the best version of themselves, to in turn make the relationship the best it can be – where you can both be yourselves freely. This will make you happier and feel empowered.
Friendship
Relationships aren’t easy, but if you are genuine friends before partners, then you will be guaranteed to have a long-term relationship. There will be days when you don’t feel very affectionate towards your partner, and that’s okay! As long as you are still friendly with them and can allow yourselves to have fun with each other, then nothing can go wrong.
Forgiveness
Many couples know that the secret to a long-lasting relationship is to be forgiving of one another. This is because it further reinstates that you are able to express your feelings without rejection, due to knowing your partner will be forgiving of your mistakes. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and your partner is learning as they go.
Romance
Now, the top characteristic you need to keep your relationship alive – without romance there may as well not be a relationship. It’s something that is between just you and your partner, it separates your relationship from the other relationships in your life, like family and friends. It’s not easy to maintain a spark, but you can do it by scheduling in date-nights or simply surprising your partner after work.
Availability
Availability is about being physically AND emotionally available. Of course, you must be available to meet your partner and do fun things with them often, however. you also need to make sure you are there when things go wrong. If your partner is going through a rough time, then you need to ensure you are emotionally there to listen to their problems and help solve them.
You have no problem setting boundaries
Boundaries mean different things to different people. Whether it’s relinquishing codependent habits, declining invitations, or putting your needs first, boundaries are important. Whatever your personal boundaries are, if you’re upfront about them from the offset – and have no issue enforcing them – your relationship is likely to stand the test of time.
Trusting your partner
Trust is the most important part of any relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, there’s little of the relationship that can be salvaged – unless you’re willing to work on building that trust back up. This characteristic goes both ways – both of you need to fully trust each other in order for the relationship to flourish.
Good communication skills
Communication is vitally important in a relationship. Expressing how you feel and explaining your needs to your partner in a loving, calm way is a skill many people are yet to master. If you’re a pro at communicating – especially when it comes to tough topics – your relationship will undoubtedly last.
Respect
If you don’t respect your partner, you don’t truly love them. Respect can manifest in numerous ways, including allowing your spouse to be their authentic selves, understanding that they have a life outside of your relationship, and dealing with conflict in a healthy manner. Those who resort to name-calling and shady tactics during arguments are likely to experience a slew of failed romances.
Honesty
If you’re a naturally honest person, your relationships are likely to soar. Of course, honesty needs to go both ways, with each party being completely transparent with one another. Being totally upfront with your partner is of the utmost importance if you want the relationship to succeed, with full openness needed for both the big and little things.
Empathy
People who are naturally empathetic forge deeper, long-lasting connections. With an inherent ability to place themselves in another person’s shoes, these folk can truly understand others’ emotional responses – leading to a drastic decrease in conflict. Sometimes, all it takes to be empathetic is to lend an ear, listening to your spouse without judgment.
Conflict resolution
Not to be confused with conflict avoidance, a strong ability to effectively resolve conflict is vitally important for the longevity of any relationship. Those who are able to squash squabbles don’t try to win arguments with their spouse, but instead arrive at mutually agreed conclusions.
A willingness to be vulnerable
Being vulnerable allows you to connect more deeply with your partner. Laying it all on the table, expressing your darkest fears and biggest dreams to your loved one adds and unbreakable layer of trust to your bond, tying you together forever. Usually, vulnerability comes naturally, with those walls only coming down with time.
Kindness
Kindness is an underrated quality in relationships. In the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life, it can be all too easy to take your partner for granted, sometimes even snapping at them when you’ve had a stressful day. As often as you can, practice engaging in kindness with your boo. It’ll strengthen your bond and create a happier, healthier relationship.
Being thoughtful
Never underestimate the importance of the little things. Whether it’s surprising your partner with a thoughtful gift, remembering small details about their interests, or surprising them with a visit, being thoughtful will deepen your bond in no time flat. The gestures don’t have to be grand – just important to your spouse in some form.
An ability to remain present
When you’re with your partner, are you truly present, gazing into their eyes as they speak? Or are you distracted, replying to work emails or text messages? For a relationship to last, you need to ensure that you’re truly living in the moment when you’re with your boo – soaking up every second that you spend together.
Gratitude
Gratitude can turn any relationship around in no time. Instead of focusing on your partner’s flaws, look for everything about them you’re thankful for. Grab a notebook and a pen and write them down – you’ll be surprised at how many things come to mind. Whenever times of strife arise, look back at your list – it’ll remind you of why you’re together in the first place.
A sense of playfulness
As we get older, it can be hard to remember to implement some fun into your life – particularly when it comes to your relationship. It shouldn’t always be serious – there needs to be a sense of lightheartedness to your coupling. If you’re a naturally playful person, incorporate some of that energy into your relationship – the endless sense of fun will keep your connection unbreakable.
Inclusivity
If you’re properly in each other’s lives, there’s a good chance your relationship will last for many years. Wanting to show off your boo to your friends and family shows an unspoken sense of commitment, melding your lives together. Of course, it’s still encouraged to have friends outside of your relationship, as keeping your own sense of self is equally as important.
An understanding of each other’s love language
An ability to understand and cater to your loved one’s love language will undoubtedly strengthen your relationship. Whether it’s through acts of service, physical touch, or spending quality time together, an ability to adjust your behavior to match your partner’s needs is a highly valuable character trait.
You enjoy each other’s company
What’s the point of being together if you don’t enjoy each other’s company? While the entire relationship can’t be full of sunshine and rainbows, you should feel a sense of enjoyment from being with your boo the majority of the time. If not, there’s little need to be shacking up.
You grow together
Couples that grow together stay together. If you push each other to become better people, it’s likely that your bond will last through even the hardest of times. Whether it’s physical goals, career aspirations, or spiritual growth, supporting your partner – and having that support returned back to you – shows a connection that will last for many years.
You have the same life goals
For a relationship to work, you both need to be heading in the same direction. If you want the same things in life – great! If not, it takes a great deal of communication and understanding to pave the way for the future, perhaps coming to a compromise in order to make the relationship work.
You don’t let arguments taint the future
Every couple argues – it’s just a fact of life. However, a vital skill in making any relationship work is moving on from any disputes, refusing to allow them to spoil your relationship. When an argument has been fully resolved, those who have healthy relationship leave the disagreement firmly in the past.
You both feel supported
Support is vitally important when it comes to love. Being able to uplift your partner through both good and bad times is a key skill that’ll result in a thriving, healthy relationship – able to withstand whatever comes your way. If you’re supportive at heart, it’ll manifest in beautiful ways across every aspect of your relationship.
You keep in contact
Regardless of distance, if you consistently make an effort to keep in touch with your boo, it’s likely that your romance will continue to blossom. Sending good morning texts is sure to bring a smile to your partner’s face – showing that constantly you’re thinking of them.
You’re physically affectionate
This is particularly apt for those with partners whose love language is physical touch. Showing signs of affection – holding your boo’s hold, placing an arm around their waist, or simply keeping them close to you is a surefire way to ensure that your relationship remains filled with passion.
A willingness to learn about each other
As time ticks on by, change is inevitable. People change their behaviors, acquire new interests, and learn more about themselves. If you’re willing to constantly learn about your partner, it shows that you’re in it for the long haul – choosing to love them regardless of how they might change in the future.
You understand each other’s needs
While you don’t need to cater to your partner’s every whim, you do need to have some sort of understanding of their needs. Whatever they may be, a willingness to discover your spouse’s likes, dislikes, boundaries, and limits are all vitally important in sustaining a long-term relationship.
Time apart brings you closer together
Instead of being filled with resentment and jealousy, mentally secure people see time apart as a way to deepen their bond with their loved one. Sometimes, a bit of distance does the world of good, with both parties realizing just how much they miss their other half. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
You work as a team
When you start a relationship, it’s important that you leave your ego at the door. That means working as a team – pairing up to tackle any issues that life may throw your way. A couple should operate as two halves of the same coin, leaving selfish actions as a relic of your single life.
A willingness to apologize
When you make a mistake or offend your partner, it’s of utmost importance that you cop to it. People who sustain healthy relationships have no issue admitting when they’re at fault, even being willing to put in measures to ensure the same issues doesn’t arise in the future.
Your differences are celebrated
While couples are often quite similar, it’s important to remember that differences don’t need to be a source of conflict. If your partner has different values or ethics, don’t let it taint your future – instead, try to come from a place of compassion and understanding. Our differences are what makes the world so interesting, after all.
Your actions and words align
Words are all well and good, but there’s come a point where they’re nothing but empty promises. Those who make their relationships last for years ensure that their words match up to their actions, following through on what they say. Subconsciously, this builds a send of trust between you and your boo.
You listen to your partner
It can be hard to remember to truly, properly listen to your spouse. When they’re explaining something about their day, try not to listen with vacant ears. Instead, give them your full attention – truly soaking up every word they’re saying. Doing so will make your partner feel valued, cared for, and wanted.
A willingness to change
While we should never change ourselves for another person, there does need to be a bit of leeway. Remaining stoic in and set in your ways can lead to a great deal of friction in your connection, leading to unnecessary spats. See what you’re willing to improve on in order to make your romantic pursuits last.