They never plan for your future
If your partner refuses to follow through with the simplest of things, it’s a big red flag. Sure, you can’t expect anyone to pop the question or start planning babies after a few months, but if they never seem to plan ahead or even think about tomorrow, your partner likely has some maturing to do.
Your other half is a bit of a bum
Constantly cleaning up after your spouse isn’t a fun way to live. If they take zero pride in their home, leaving socks at the bottom of the stairs and dirty dishes on the counter for days at a time, it’s worth taking a look at your relationship. You’re not their personal maid; the two of you should be supporting one another as equally as possible.
They mimic their friends’ behavior
You know the type: The ones that revert back to their 14-year-old selves when they see their old buddies from school, turning into an entirely unrecognizable person. Of course, your lover is bound to treat their friends differently than how they treat you, but if they ignore you, downplay your relationship, or otherwise disrespect you in front of their pals, they’re probably emotionally stunted.
Their actions don’t line up with their words
They could say that they’re family-focused but spend every evening working late at the office, or they might tell you that they support your career path but make snide comments whenever the subject pops up. There comes a point where these sweet nothings turn into straight-up lies. Find a partner who’s mature enough to follow through with what they say, and you’ll never look back.
They constantly gaslight you
Gaslighters have a way of twisting everything you do or say to paint themselves as the victim, kicking your emotional needs to the curb. It’s a subtle, manipulative art. Imagine telling your partner that you feel neglected and that you’d like more time with them; if they come back arguing that they’re too busy and that you shouldn’t be so insecure, it’s a warning sign.
Your partner always has to have the last word
We’re all guilty of trying to get the last word in during an argument, but if it’s a constant, repeated pattern, then your partner may be psychologically stunted. It’s more than just an annoying habit – it’s actually a huge indicator that they’re led by their ego, showing that their mind is incapable of grasping the notion that anyone can be right other than them.
You can never express how you feel
If your feelings are never vindicated, run for the hills. Emotionally immature partners only care about themselves and their own needs, leading to a miserable relationship. If they brush off your concerns with a wave of their hand and a dismissive rebuttal, they don’t value you as a person or respect your feelings.
They make jokes at your expense
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of banter. However, if these jokes turn into a constant barrage of insults directed your way, your partner probably has some developing to do. It’s the equivalent of pushing a girl over in the playground and tugging on her pigtails – by the time your supposed better half has reached adulthood, these behaviors should have been left in the past.
They’re never emotionally vulnerable
Perhaps the biggest sign of immaturity is that your spouse never wants to talk about their feelings. They might dismiss the matter, but they simply aren’t mature enough to acknowledge the emotions that are brewing beneath the surface, choosing to turn a blind eye to what’s really bothering them. Eventually, all suppressed feelings come to light – usually in the form of mental health problems.
They haven’t shown any positive change
If you’ve been together for a while and the same toxic cycles keep repeating, your relationship is probably circling the drain. Your partner may have hit the peak of their emotional maturity, unable to make any positive change to themselves or to your relationship. If years have passed without any indication of anything changing for the better, it’s likely to stay that way.
Everything is about them
Selfishness is a horrible trait in a partner. Constantly putting their needs before yours, they may only be concerned about their own welfare and unable to be the equal half of a partnership that you deserve. This can lead to frustration and bitterness, and can be the relationship’s undoing if it isn’t resolved.
Conversations frequently turn into arguments
Every couple argues, it’s just a fact of life. If your casual conversations constantly turn into heated arguments, however, then one party may have some maturing to do. Constantly seeking drama, your partner may be always on the defense – raising issues over minor complaints. If your relationship is steeped in petty quarrels, it may be time to take a deeper look at your connection.
They punish you with silence
The silent treatment is something you’re supposed to grow out of as a child. A petty tactic to always be viewed as the victor, ignoring your partner only shows a hugely immature mentality. If your other half withholds affection, attention, or basic levels of care simply to win an argument – it’s probably best to leave them in your past.
They’re terrible with finances
If your partner is constantly in debt, fails to save, or struggles to live paycheck to paycheck, it’s likely that they don’t have a level-headed approach when it comes to money matters. If they’re always spending out on unnecessary items – without any thought for the future – it’s a sign that they’ve got some growing up to do.
They can’t hold down a job
Constantly jumping from job to job shows an unsettled, unbalanced lifestyle. Worse still is if your spouse is always being fired from their workplace, highlighting issues such as a lack of respect for authority, an inadequate work ethic, or poor self-conduct. If they were job-hopping before they met you, this pattern of behavior will likely continue throughout your relationship.
They prioritize their friends over you
Spending time with people outside of your relationship is healthy. It becomes an issue, however, if your partner prioritizes these outside connections far above the one they have with you. Flaking on date nights to go out drinking with their pals is a sure sign that they’ve got some evolving still to do.
They don’t regulate their emotions
Explosive emotions can destroy a relationship. While it’s beneficial to express your inner world to your spouse, constant, unregulated emotional outbursts can push a connection beyond repair. Unable to handle difficult matters in a mature way, your partner could be easily angered, triggered, or upset.
They don’t have short- or long-term goals
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. A lack of foresight – even for events in the immediate future – can indicate a lack of mental maturity. Living moment to moment without a care for tomorrow may seem like a liberating way to live, but it can have far-reaching negative implications for your relationship.
Your partner is controlling
Partnerships are supposed to be uplifting, not restricting. If your spouse takes issue with who you spend time with, where you go, or even what you wear, not only are they immature – they’re mentally abusive. Nobody should have to suffer abuse – particularly by the hand of the one they love. The safest thing to do is to leave their toxicity behind.
You have to parent your partner
Nobody gets into a relationship to practically re-raise their spouse, but it’s unfortunately all too common. Stuck with a partner who has the mentality of a teenager, you may constantly need to explain obvious adult responsibilities to them. Whether it’s reminding them to pay their taxes or to incorporate healthy eating habits, these basic things shouldn’t be your burden to bear, but theirs.
They struggle to deal with criticism
Resorting to crocodile tears or angry outbursts, your partner may be unable to maturely process criticism. Taking your open communication as a pointed personal attack, it may be impossible to honestly discuss any issues that arise in your relationship without an excessive display of emotional fanfare.
Nothing is ever their fault
Forever pointing the finger at everyone but themselves, emotionally inept individuals are unable to accept the consequences of their own actions. You may be used to your partner always playing the victim – forever painting themselves in a light of innocence. Those with a healthy mindset know that mistakes are opportunities for growth and aren’t to be shied away from.
Your partner is afraid of commitment
Being afraid of big commitments is normal. However, if your partner is merely stringing you along, hoping that you’ll accept their promises of a proposal, it may be a sign of immaturity. Popping the question is a life-changing event, one that should be undertaken when it’s the right time – but without an honest discourse around the topic, you could spend your life waiting in vain.
They never apologize
Never apologizing is a huge red flag. It can leave you feeling unvalidated, constantly wondering if you’re the problem in the relationship. If your partner has never apologized for any actions that have hurt or upset you, they probably can’t grasp the concept of accountability and their immature mindset won’t allow them to see the bigger picture outside of their own ego.
Your partner doesn’t listen to you
Your significant other may pay no heed to your words, meaning that you’re forever repeating yourself. While it may seem like a minor issue, it can highlight other negative connotations about them as a person. It could show that they’re self-involved, don’t value your opinion, or are too wrapped up in their own little world to see anything outside of themselves.
Plans are always on their terms
Date nights are all well and good, but if they’re always planned by your partner, it may be a cause for concern. If every date, restaurant suggestion, or idea you have is shot down, replaced by activities that they’d prefer to do – it’s a sign they’ve got some growing up to do. Compromise is reserved for well-rounded folk, and a lack thereof can indicate immaturity.
Your partner is a pathological liar
Whether it’s big, life-altering lies, or tiny white lies, if your partner is consistently bending the truth, it may be time to jump ship. Whether they lie to simply impress you by making up elaborate stories, or whether they fib to cover up darker secrets – mature, grown-up partners will be open, up front, and honest.
You feel alone
If you feel alone in your relationship, something is clearly wrong. You and your partner are together to uplift, support, and encourage each other. If you’re always feeling lonely and isolated, and your spouse doesn’t offer their companionship, they may be too emotionally immature to notice the obvious signals.
They struggle to make decisions
Decision-making is a vital part of adult life. If your other half struggles to decide on anything – be it the larger concepts such as what career path to follow, or the smaller things like what to eat for dinner – it shows that they are probably struggling to grow emotionally.
Your relationship lacks boundaries
Healthy boundaries are vital if your relationship is to survive. If your spouse constantly oversteps their mark – perhaps by invading your personal space, making decisions on your behalf, or not respecting your time – they’ve got a long way to go in terms of growing into the person that you deserve to be with.
Your partner sulks if things don’t go their way
Immature people revert to sulking when they don’t know how else to express their emotions. At their worst, they’re unlikely to convey their own feelings even unto themselves. Rather than resolving issues with direct communication, sulkers close off from the world (and their partners), shutting down until they get their way.
You don’t truly know them
Though your partner may be physically present in your life, if they haven’t grown emotionally you may be left feeling as though you don’t truly know them. With an inability to open up, they may keep you at arm’s length, subtly pushing you away from getting to know them on a deeper, more intimate level.
They hold onto grudges
Holding onto old grudges shows a lack of forward-thinking and emotional intelligence, and exhibits petulant behavioral habits. If your spouse is forever throwing old arguments in your face, unable to move on from past issues, it shows that they’ve got a significant amount of growing up left to do.
You make all of the effort
One-sided relationships are a sure way to a broken heart. If you’re the one making all of the effort, suggesting every date, constantly pleading with your other half to spend time with you – they’re probably too immature to realize just how good they’ve got it. Step back and see if they step up. It takes two to tango, after all.
Your partner lacks compassion
Cold and callous, your partner may not respond well when you show emotion. In fact, they might dismiss your feelings entirely and suggest that you’re simply being dramatic. News flash: you’re not dramatic – they’re just incapable of getting their head around their own feelings, let alone anyone else’s.
They rely on their parents
There’s nothing worse than overly involved in-laws. It may not be the parents’ fault, however, but your spouse’s. Perhaps they turn to them after every bump in the relationship, or rely on them too often to take care of your kids. Whatever the case may be, if the parents are constantly in the picture, your spouse may have never properly left the nest.
They have low self-confidence
A lack of self-esteem can manifest in many different ways, namely in how your relationship plays out. You may constantly have to make phone calls on their behalf, or be the one to step up and ask directions from strangers. If they’re struggling with their own self-confidence, it suggests that they had some healing to do before they got involved with another person.
Your partner needs instant gratification
The need for immediate gratification shows clear signs of someone who’s emotionally stunted. Whether it’s from placing bets to win instant cash, snoozing their alarm, or eating fatty foods – if your spouse consistently makes choices that only benefit them in the short term, take a moment to consider how they’d fare dealing with longer, more drawn-out goals.
They use humor as a defense mechanism
Hiding behind humor is a classic symptom of immaturity. Rather than being open and vulnerable, your companion may choose to deflect deep, important conversations with comedy, brushing off important topics in order to mask their own insecurities. Although this type of person may be fun and refreshing to be around, it’s no foundation to build a future on.
Your partner is always bragging
Whether it’s about their impressive physique, designer clothing, or the amount of money in their bank – braggers are almost always covering something up. They could brag to you directly, or to their friends, but if it’s a permanent fixture of their personality, it may be time to look beyond the front they’re portraying and to the insecure person that lies within.