Our generation is filled with people who are afraid to feel, afraid to be vulnerable and afraid of losing themselves in love.
It’s all a bunch of cynics who bag on the romantics and act like love is the plague. But love isn’t the plague. Love is healthy and it’s what humans were made for. We all need attention and to need to feel loved, but that’s never going to happen to anyone who runs from it.
Maybe it was a bad relationship, maybe it was witnessing your parents’ unhappy marriage, or maybe it was the damn media. Yes, getting your heart broken is the worst pain you could possibly endure. But love is also the best bliss to experience. There is no other feeling that will make you see the world brighter, see yourself in a better light or give you hope and excitement for the future.
So, why is it so bad to fall in love? What is so terrible about sharing yourself with someone and planning a future together? I know it’s not exactly what the entertainment industry promotes, but has anyone seen an 80-year-old couple talk about how blessed they are to still be married? The entertainment industry isn’t based on real life. People who have lived and loved are real life. These are the people we should look to for relationship advice. Stop hating on the hopeless romantics.
Instead of trying to be cool they just want to be real.
The most painful and frustrating part of relationships are the games. He’s not answering your calls, or she brought another guy to the party. But then three days later things couldn’t be better. Oh, wait, now they are back to being crappy.
It’s a bunch of crap. You waste all this time trying to be invincible and you never even get to experience the beauty of being yourself. Sharing your fears and flaws with someone is incredible when they see you for what you are and still wouldn’t trade you in for the world. Why not feel accepted and cared for instead of always trying to act as if you don’t care, when really it’s eating you up inside? Don’t you want to be able to tell someone they are hurting you and have them actually give a damn? Isn’t it better to feel confident that you are loved than to feel “cool” for not caring about anyone?
It’s not better to care less.
One of the worst things you can do to yourself emotionally is tell yourself you don’t care when you do. When you bottle everything up and ignore your feelings, you are a ticking time bomb.
Somehow, people who are upfront about how much they care are seen as desperate and clingy. Yet, the person who acts like they could care less about you is the most desireable choice? Is this real logic, people?
I honestly believe that the best route to take is the one where you are honest with yourself and with the people around you. If you care, show them. If they don’t reciprocate, then it’s their loss and it’s fortunate that you found out in the beginning before getting too attached. You should be able to express your feelings and feel comfortable doing it. If you can’t be honest with someone else, then how can you be honest with yourself?
Don’t keep your walls up, tear them down!
Cynical people are scared of being vulnerable. They put up walls and won’t let anyone in. To me, that’s not appealing. I love having closeness. I love knowing someone wants to know me inside and out. It creates a closeness and a bond that is worth more than the effort to keep those walls up.
Being vulnerable with someone is scary. But it’s also amazing. It’s amazing to feel understood and to connected to someone on the deepest level of your soul. It’s unlike anything else when someone sees who you really are and chooses to love you for it.
One night stands vs the potential for long-term.
I think when people hook-up, they immediately assume it is a one-time thing. That being said, it’s basically the mindset that the other person is disposable. You are disposable. And what a terrible feeling that would be. No one wants to feel like they are easily tossed aside or used.
Yet, if you ask to get breakfast or to call them later, it’s as if hell as just froze over. Ummm, hello, moron, I indicated that you were recognized as a human being with feelings, not just an object for my pleasure.
Do you anticipate the ending before the relationship even begins?
Cynical people tend to act as if the relationship is over before it’s even began. They are preparing themselves for the worst so they won’t get hurt, but it prevents them from really falling in love. They rob themselves of that wonderful, crazy, blissful feeling. If you prepare for the end before you give it a real chance, you are sabotaging the relationship from the get go. It will never work if you already have the mindset that it won’t!
Instead of looking for someone better, work to make the relationship better.
The thing with these people who bash on being a romantic is that they really aren’t giving love a chance. They aren’t putting in the effort it requires to make the love last or to even reach the level of love in the first place. They are always preparing for the end, always needing a backup plan. They look for the next best thing, yet, making the relationship better by working together is what will make it last. Work will make it better. Not a backup plan.
You have to recognize the positive traits your partner has, not the ones they don’t. You have to express your needs, not go looking for someone else to fill them. Otherwise, you will be chasing the backup guy for the rest of your life, and never really know what true happiness feels like.