Are you maturing faster than your guy?!
We all know how easily it can happen, there we are happily basking in the carefree coupledom that comes with that first love, harmoniously rubbing along together whilst skipping hand in hand through the blooming fields that is teenage love, when suddenly, BOOM, reality finally barges its way in and before we know it we are yanking free from that suddenly child like grasp and looking to run in the opposite direction.
When we first get together with our first love, it is often the result of a lot of longing, lusting and plotting and when we actually get successful in securing that dream relationship it is only normal that we want to then quit with all the games and enjoy just being together. And of course that is great and how it should be, but, whilst enjoying this wonderful new found special love we can easily put to one side the fact that although it may feel like it, time isn’t actually standing still, it is in fact ticking along at the same speed it always has and however much you want to shut yourselves off in your little love nest the reality is that life will still be happening to you, and all those things that develop and change you as a person will still be happening – school, college, work, friends.
All these life experiences will be having influences on you whether you are aware of it or not. So, it is almost inevitable that after a while of enjoying your coupledom you may suddenly find yourself questioning what it is that brought you together in the first place. Don’t feel bewildered by feeling this way and don’t feel like you’re the only one to ever feel like this. It is simply a case that you are maturing more quickly that your partner.
It is no secret that girls tend to mature faster than guys (doesn’t that explain a whole lot huh!) and after once we get our head around this fact then we can realise that it doesn’t necessarily have to mean the end of a relationship. Once we can put our finger on why we’re feeling the way we’re feeling we can focus on addressing the issues and work towards a way of resolving them. It might be that your boyfriend is actually capable of pulling his head out of the sand and discussing and accepting what your issues are and understanding why you feel the way you do, and in these cases there is no reason why the relationship can’t get back on course and flourish once more.
However, it’s all too common that guys just can’t step up to the mark and accept responsibility that any issues in the relationship could possibly be anything to do with them (or their immature behaviour!).
In case you’re feeling confused and in any doubt into which category your relationship may fall into, we’ve put together our top seven signs that your guy is probably just not ready to grow up and you’re maybe best making the break and concentrating on finding someone on a maturity level more in line with your own.
7 Signs He Is Not Ready To Grow Up
1. It’s his first grown up relationship
It pretty common in cases of teenage relationships that the guy will be experiencing his first real grown up relationship. Us girls, whilst we may not have been in love before are likely to have had enough dating experience to have learnt from and gained some insight into how things work. Your guy on the other hand it likely to have put of committing himself as long as possible and as such will have a whole lot to learn and you may find yourself as a (reluctant!) teacher and your role could soon spiral from playing the gregarious girlfriend to the frustrated ‘mother’! Unless he can do some fast learning and start to acknowledge you as an equal this is probably a relationship you may want to move on from. (If you really like him you could give him a few months under another girlfriends tutor ledge before moving in the reclaim him back!)
2. He’s too petty
A total giveaway sign of immaturity in a guy is when they behave in a petty and small minded manner. It shows that fundamentally they are too immature to try and address and resolve and argument or issue in an adult fashion. When their stubbornness comes before you and your feelings you are probably fighting a losing battle.
3. He can’t communicate
In addition to his petty stubbornness comes an inability to communicate. Similar to talking to a child, an immature guy will shy away from having a grown up and sensible conversation when it comes to subjects they don’t want to discuss. This is an unfortunate trait and shows a lack of ability to tackle the more challenging aspects of your relationship. Along with not talking comes not listening and no relationship can succeed with such an unresponsive partner!
4. He’s in denial
Does it always feel as if everything always your fault? Are you reminded constantly about your insecurities and supposed flaws? Does he EVER take ownership of anything?! If he’s unwilling to ever accept the fact he’s not perfect or take responsibility for his own actions then he’s not yet grow up enough to realise that we all have a part to play in shaping our own lives and relationships and that ultimately it takes two to tango!
5. He’s unreliable
There is little point in pursuing a relationship that leaves you feeling as if you have no one to lean on or rely on in challenging times. Just as children rely on their parents, an immature guy will rely on his girlfriend without affording her the chance to do the same back. If he doesn’t want to take the reins in the relationship and is happy for you to take all the strain then he needs a sharp dose of reality.
6. He’s given up
The writing is most likely on the wall if you feel like he’s just stopped trying and no longer puts any effort into the relationship or you. It could be that his immaturity has prevented him from ending the relationship or at least have an adult conversation around how he’s feeling. It’s even quite possible that he’s taking the cowards way out and hoping if he just distances himself from things you will do the dirty work and initiate the break up.
7. He’s lazy
There are several characteristic that go hand in hand with immaturity and none of them are an advantage in a relationship! Immature guys have often to yet grasp the realities of life and until that happens can be lazy, unmotivated and unambitious. This will frustrate most of us girls who are looking for a guy who will seize life by the horns and take us on a wild ride making the most of what life has to offer.
Perhaps all the above help to explain just why so many of us girls end up with an older guy!