You say “flawed”, he says “sexy”
It may come as a bit of a shock to you but guys have a different set of eyes to you. When YOU gaze into the mirror, you may see a tooth that is a little too yellow or crooked. Or the line where your bra presses in (you call this your “back fat”), the too-small breasts or the too-wide rear, your goofy knees, funny toes…. The list goeson and on. But you know what your MAN sees? A woman he’d love to strip naked and get busy with right this instant, maybe sooner.
I will now give you my own personal body confession… You may hate your hips or your Muffin Top. Well I hate my feet. Urgh! When I was younger, I had to have an operation on my big toes. I had (bunions… nice!). Over the next twenty years that followed, I hid my feet from every man to the point where I refused to even wear an open toe sandal. I now have a scar running along the middle of my big toe, a crocked toe, and my feet are still a wonky shape. Its so depressing. Having said all that and after my years of worry, you can imagine my surprise when SHOCKINGLY I found a man, not only willing to marry me, but that nearly begged me to be with him. Looking back all this does sound quite silly but I assure you, at the time I was single and worried about this I thought my feet would lead me to a life of singledom.
3 ways MEN really see your body…
If you ask my man what parts of me he liked the most, he would as with every other guy probably be thinking about my chest, butt or legs. He wouldn’t answer the question with one of these as he knows I would tell him off. After a while of thinking, he would most likely say he likes my shoulders or something equally likely to keep him out of trouble. I bet he didn’t even know I had scars on my feet for the first 10 years we were married. Here’s the thing: Men see your body in three ways, and it’s nothing like the way you see yourself.
1. They see what makes you a WOMAN
In other words, when they look at you they notice those little things about you that make you uniquely womanly. These things include your ass, your breasts, your legs, hair and even how you walk. It is not really possible for a red blooded male to notice anything else until they notice all those things that make you WOMANLY. Your cellulite does not count, bingo wings don’t count, little wrinkles on your forehead don’t count so chill out about them.
2. They notice those things that make you UNIQUE
That little gap in your teeth? Guys actually think it’s pretty sweet. Your muffin top? They don’t even notice it because it is so near your behind which they think is the best thing this side of the moon. You think you have thin lips? Well the guy just sees what a nice smile you have. Oh and when they see your lips, they are not thinking about how thin they are. More likely they are thinking of kissing them and feeling them on their body. All those things you don’t like about yourself and think are hideous are seen by the guy in a totally different way. They see these things as what makes you uniquely YOU and you, warts and all.
3. If you constantly draw attention to something, they will start to notice
On this point you have the power to rock or ruin your relationship. All the points I made above are all true in the early days. As time goes by however, if you start to mention all the things you dislike about yourself over and over again, he will start to notice. .You are not only beating yourself up about these things, you are also tearing down his first impressions of you. You push him off your leg saying “Im too fat” while he is thinking “I could stroke that leg all day”. This will erode all the thoughts and desires he constantly has for you and over time will drive him away. The great thing about this point is that it works in reverse perfectly. Show off those new nails or your new hair do to him. Show a bit of flesh (even the bits you may not like so much). Tease him constantly with that body he desires so much.
A Real Man Loves A REAL WOMAN
He will of course still be attracted to the glossy magazine images of skinny models or those too good to be true film stars you see in the movies. Having said all this, whether it’s real or not these images in magazines and on the big screen are no competition whatsoever for a living, breathing, fragrant woman sitting next to a man at a restaurant. Or pressed slightly against him in the elevator. Perfection can go hang; you are up close and personal. You can be assured that while he might fantasise about a playmate of the month, he’ll take a real woman over a figment of his imagination EVERY time. Celebrate your body (and let him do it, too)! You should of course still invest time and effort into being fit and healthy while also looking after your body. The main thing is to remember that you deserve all the fabulous man attention he is willing to throw at you.
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