In the early stages of a relationship, chemicals known as Serotonin are released into your body which are linked with feelings of excitement and pleasure. As the relationship develops, these early releases of Serotonin reduce as things settle down and you get more used to being around your partner.
This is perfectly healthy behavior and is the building blocks of true love between partners. The butterflies in your stomach turn into feelings of love and intimacy and trust.
The problems can arise when the man in particular (but sometimes the woman), meets somebody new that they find attractive. Whether it is on a night out or in the work place, sometimes there is a release of this Serotonin that occurs again without you even knowing it. It is at this point that the individuals with the potential to cheat can make themselves known. Some people can totally control these feelings and understand what they are while unfortunately others will act upon them and may go on to cheat on their partner.
The sad truth is that the person doing the cheating can often think that the person they are doing the cheating with, is better than their partner or even that they love the new person more than their partner. Don’t get me wrong, this can sometimes be the case if they were truly unhappy in their current relationship but it is more common that the feelings they have are heightened hormones associated with the release of Serotonin.
Cheaters may say things like:
1. I am more motivated to see this new person than I am my partner.
2. I never seem to get bored while around them and everything is new and exciting.
3. I have stronger feelings for them than I do with my current partner.
Translated these are more realistically
1. More chemicals are currently released when I see them than when I see my partner.
2. I don’t think the chemicals will stop being released like they did with my current partner. (They inevitably will though)
3. I forgot what it felt like in the early stages with my partner when the chemicals were released.
So what can we do to prevent this happening?
Most potential cheaters who get this concept refrain cheating simply because they understand that they are just chasing chemicals and not real feelings.
Both partners should understand the fact that chemicals won’t last forever and that intimacy needs to replace these feelings in order for the relationship to thrive and for both individuals to stay excited and interested. People, who cheat, chase a fantasy and sooner or later they will find that the chemicals they were unknowingly chasing vanish once again. This is when serial cheating can occur.
If you are aware of someone who always seems to end up cheating on their partner and they don’t understand why, I suggest you discuss this article with them, it could save a lot of heart ache in the future.
How can the chemicals be restored?
The good news is that the chemicals can be restored using some pretty simple advice. I cover this in more detail in my article Six Healthy Relationship Habits
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