People Describe Their Most Satisfying “You Have No Power Here” Moments
This article originally appeared on eightieskids.com
Most people, at some point during their lives, have to deal with someone else causing them strife. Whether it’s at their job or at school, from family members or a partner, we all know what it’s like to have to put up with an annoying person making trouble for no reason. With that in mind, here are the best “you have no power here” moments that people have experienced throughout their lives.
1. Wedding woes
I told my ex I was getting remarried. He told me he was going to stop me and put a lien on my house (which I bought with my money six years after the divorce). My son would come home from visitations telling me how his dad was going to stop the wedding and I’d have to pay him all of this money, la di da. Then we get to court.
His attorney goes blah blah blah for what felt like forever. My lawyer (yes, I had to freaking get one) stands up and simply hands the judge the divorce papers showing the disbursement of funds and how my ex isn’t owed anything. The judge looks at ex’s lawyer and basically asks, “did you even ask for this document before filing?” and dismisses the case.
2. Not under my roof
I grew up with my parents having screaming arguments over every little thing (they do love each other – over 50 years of marriage so far testifies to that) and it always upset me. A couple of days ago, they popped into my house to visit for a coffee on their way to stay with friends a few miles away. Within minutes, they were yelling at each other.
I took great pleasure in telling them that I would not stand for such behaviour in MY house and, if they didn’t lower their voices, they could stand outside until they learned some manners. The meek apologies tasted so sweet. As did the coffee.
3. Flower bed thievery
The day after we signed the papers for our first house, we stopped by to move some things in. We pulled up to the house and saw the previous owner digging up the last three plants in the front yard. She had pulled up everything else in the yard & loaded up the back of her pickup. It was packed.
When we asked her wtf she was doing, she said she had just planted them to make the house look nicer while it was listed for sale and that she really liked them and didn’t want to have buy more for her new house. We got to meet the local cops that day. She had the choice of re-planting them all back exactly how they were before or get arrested.
She spent the next 5+ hours making that s*** right again. The cops said to call them when she was done and looked everything over before they let her go with the warning that if she ever came back she would be arrested. Never saw her again.
4. Rule the school
I grew up fairly poor. In some of my high school classes, there was a very rich girl who liked to lord power over people. She had the teachers convinced she was a saint, though. One day she and I got into an argument and we were sent to the vice principal’s office.
I thought I was doomed. Low and behold, the VP wasn’t there that day and the art teacher was filling in for this sort of thing. We told him what happened and I mentioned that she acted like she was better than everyone else because she has nice clothing and money.
She yelled that I was a liar and the art teacher said “you do act like you own the place”. She was shocked and shut the hell up. Knowing someone finally believed me was just blissful.
5. Showing their true colours
I have a job, but I will still do interviews every couple years. This means the script is flipped a bit. They have to convince me to work there. Anyway, I got to town early so I stopped at a bakery to get something to eat. The woman went in the back to get it, and this squat toad of a woman walks in, yells at me to get her order and then yells at me again for not getting up right away to serve her.
When I pointed out that I did not in fact work there she went off me about how important she is etc. I go to the interview. Head of IT and the toad woman walks in. She has this evil grin on her face. I stop everything. I point at the toad woman and I say something like “I have seen how your management treats people, and I have no interest in working for you” and I take my resume out his hands and walk out.
The look on her face was priceless. Oh and he had walked in with a print of a resume, so I took his copy.
6. Father to be
When I was in my very early twenties, I learned that my BF had cheated on me for months and the other girl was pregnant and keeping the baby. It was 100% certain and I was so traumatized by this that I broke up with him over the phone in about 15 seconds, without revealing what I knew, and then went hard no contact.
I didn’t even want to yell at him. I wanted him to cease to exist. About a year later I ended up with a short-term contract with his company that was too good to pass up, so I did my best to avoid him. Until one day cornered me and started into me, in front of about six of his co-workers, about how it was s***ty it was we couldn’t just be friends, how immature I was to avoid him, and how I couldn’t even be ‘basically civil’ to him.
I blurted out “Congratulations on the birth of your child. Remind me how old the babe is?’ and ran from the room. His coworkers put 2 and 2 together and I hear he didn’t last much longer there.
7. The shoe is on the other foot
I wasn’t good at returning library books when I was a kid. I got lectured by my school librarian about it a lot. Fast forward twenty years and I’m a supervisor at the local public library and my former now retired school librarian goes there. One day I see her sneaking around the front desk instead of coming back to say hi to me and I immediately figure something’s up.
I go up to say hi and she acts exasperated and tells me she was trying to avoid me because she had overdue books. So I put on my reading glasses, pulled them down over my nose, and delivered the same lecture she’d given me countless times about being responsible and turning in books on time.
8. Do you know who I am?
When I was doing tech support for a mobile phone company I had some guy call me. His account had the “notable person” flag on it that usually meant they were a celebrity or politician or some s***. Anyway, he’s got an issue with his blackberry, I do my checks and it looks like a hardware failure.
He’s calling in at 9pm so I say that he’ll either need to visit a store in the morning for a warranty replacement or I can order one for him and he’d have it before 9am the day after tomorrow. Well, that wasn’t good enough. He lost his s*** as he was clearly so important he had to have his phone working at that precise second, then he pulled the “do you know who I am”.
“No I don’t,” I said, “now would you like me to order you one or would you prefer to go to a store.” I’ve never heard the wind fall out of someone’s sails faster.
9. You’re in my house now
The other evening I was out gardening and I thought I had gotten the hose twisted, as it kept getting stuck. This went on for a bit, when I realized that it wasn’t stuck, but being pulled. I looked into the dim area just past the illumination of the street light and spied my father, crouched over and tugging the hose.
Well I did the only reasonable thing to do, and I sprayed him. He yelled and ran inside with me chasing. Once he got inside he made a face and goes “You can’t get me now! I’m inside!!” In that father-to-daughter-don’t-you-make-a-mess tone of voice. I readied my hose, looked him in the eye and said, “It’s my house.”
And just f***ing let loose with the hose. He was soaked. Worth cleaning up the mess for that moment of true fear in his eyes.
10. Call the boss
I was a cashier working at the returns counter for a big box store. Customer wanted to return a drill that stopped working after he dropped it in wet concrete. I told him I couldn’t take it back. He got all huffy and wanted to see the manager. The manager backed me up and refused to take it back as well.
Things escalated and the customer threatened to call the CEO, “who was a personal friend”, and get us both fired. I had recently done some volunteer work that the CEO was heavily involved in and had directly work with him on it over the past few months, so I had his personal phone number. I took out my phone and brought up the CEOs contact page on my phone.
Showed it to guy and asked if he wanted me to place the call for him. He threw the drill in the trashcan and stormed out. The look on my manager’s face was priceless.
11. Sheriff’s honour
So my uncle is a deputy sheriff, and one time he was at an airport talking to my aunt over the phone in Spanish. Once he got done with his call some nearby Karen that overheard him went up to him and started demanding to see his green card (uncle has an accent too so you can tell he wasn’t born in the US).
Uncle decides to f*** with her and tells her he doesn’t know what a green card is and has never heard of one. She gets more p***ed and keeps demanding to see it. He messes with her some more then eventually he goes “Well I don’t got a green card but I got this” then takes out his wallet and shows her his badge. She immediately walked away while my uncle laughed his a** off.
12. Working from home
Had an old boss who was a complete and total b*****d. He was actually my boss’ boss, and wasn’t supposed to interact with us unless it was through our boss, but he just loved trying to make everyone under him squirm. The company had forced him to go to training twice because of how he spoke to people.
One day, I get a call at home from him and he just starts unloading – cursing, name-calling, insulting over some technical issue he just found out about. After a couple of minutes, I just looked at my phone and hung up on him.
The next day, I get called into a meeting with his boss, who basically wants to know who the f*** I think I am hanging up on this guy. I calmly explain that no one gets to yell at me on my time, in my home, on my phone. You have to wait for me to be on the clock to pay me for that privilege, and I’ll gladly take that money- If I’m busy being yelled at, I’m not busy with anything else. Seemed to work.
13. Speaking to the manager
I worked in management at a theatre for a while. If the concession counter was slammed and I was able, I’d leave my post and help them sling popcorn. One night while helping out, a particularly belligerent man started cussing out a 16year old girl on a cash register for being too slow, even suggesting she quit since she clearly couldn’t handle pushing buttons or scooping popcorn.
It was pretty disgusting and I felt so bad for the girl, I stepped in and told the guy that our employees have the right to refuse service to customers who harass them as part of our anti-harassment/discrimination policy, emphasised that the lines were longer than usual, and suggested he should apologize and move on. He was P***ED.
Left half his order on the counter and started fuming off. Anticipating his next move, I went back to my original post that night – as manager of the customer service kiosk. Oh boy, the look on his face when he saw me.
14. Celebrities queue too
I was waiting for a friend to finish work – she worked at a restaurant so fancy they had someone vetting guests at a podium outside. The place was glitzy and the folks were glam so the great and good would descend in droves. Those with a reservation were sent in; prospective walk-ins had to queue.
A car sweeps up, the driver jumps out and holds the door open to unleash a hat and dress. The woman accompanying said finery – a C-list actress from a regional daytime TV show – looked through everyone present and moved to enter. She froze, appalled, when the guest-vetter intercepted, asking “Do you have a reservation?” She mustn’t have heard the question because she didn’t respond.
Instead, she drew herself up to the full height of her couture and demanded: “Do you know who I am?” “Yes” said the maitre d’, “Back of the queue.”
15. Courtroom discipline
My ex-husband had some narcissistic qualities. Nothing was ever his fault, no respect for differing opinions etc. When we separated, I took him to court for child support as I didn’t trust we could work it out amongst ourselves. While in the courtroom, he starts getting mouthy with the judge.
Same behaviour he would have with me whenever we disagreed. He was upset about the amount he was being ordered to pay even though he and I had discussed prior what the amount would be as I had run it through the formula available on the state website.
Anyway, he starts getting mouthy and talking over the judge. It was apparent he had no regard for the situation and proper courtroom etiquette; again, he always acted as though he was above everything and could do no wrong. The judge wasn’t having it. At all.
He raises his voice and states “Mr. ____!!! If you don’t CUT IT OUT in my courtroom I will have you detained!!!”. He motioned for the sheriff in the courtroom to walk over. I have never seen my ex-husband shut up so quickly.
16. Doing better elsewhere
I had worked for a company for 12 years. They had cut staff about 18 months prior and assigned the senior engineer workload to me, a normal engineer, on top of my existing workload. After about a year I began the conversation of a promotion to account for the increased work.
Months and months went by with nothing and then a 2% raise in April. They fired my boss so I now worked for the plant manager, the highest level in the building. After three meetings of being blown off and “I’ll see what we can do” I started looking for opportunities.
I had one bite and give me an offer that I couldn’t refuse (25%+ raise for the exact same position down the road). I made one last attempt to argue my case as I really wanted a counter offer. The plant manager would not accept a meeting and I finally found him up at the water cooler.
I told him I wanted to hash this out today (it was the 2 week mark on the dot) and he said “I don’t have time for you”. So I let him know then and there that I would be leaving in two weeks and I was on my way to HR to turn in notice.
17. Cutting old ties
One of my new employees came from a competitor who is, shall we say, not as put together as we are. Her former boss had actually called me to yell at me about “poaching” his consultants. Which, in and of itself, is weird enough. However, a few weeks after she started the dude rolled up to our office.
He had apparently been calling her to get her to finish an analysis for him and she just ghosted him. I went to the lobby to see what he was doing here. He started in on me again and then she happened to walk by. I didn’t fully understand the conversation but at one point he literally “demanded” she do this analysis.
She just said, “or what?” and waited a few beats before turning on her heels and walking away. I did the ol’ hand on his back point to the door universal symbol for “leave or a large security man will make you leave.” Never heard from him again.
18. Not beneath notice
We had an HR lady who was extremely power-hungry. She is walking around with the president of the company who flew in from Japan. She rushes him though the warehouse. Just spits out “oh these are the warehouse guys we don’t have to stop and talk to them.” He stops walks over and starts talking to me about my last vacation.
How buying my house went. You could just see her fuming behind him as we talked for almost 45mins. I’ve had multiple meeting with him we knew each other really well. I don’t think he liked her and was doing it on purpose but I was thrilled to see her just standing there bored as hell.
19. For the very last time
My ex and I were moving out after a breakup, cleaning out the garage. She was being critical of my post-breakup plan of moving in with a coworker until I could find a better place to live, as most options weren’t great. I took a deep breath and laughed. This puzzled her.
“Why are you laughing?” she asked. I collected myself and said “Because this is the last time I have to listen to this. you don’t get to be critical of anything I ever do, ever again!”
20. Peer pressure from management
I once had a boss try to give me a disciplinary (three months later I may add) for my behaviour as it was noted I was ‘rude to her’ by several of the Groups CEOs in a Board meeting. On the disciplinary forms, you both have to write your version of the events and it goes to HR for an adjudication, she did her part and I casually filled in something to the effect of “manager continually pressured me into deleting files from our client management system prior to a regulatory audit which is against the ethical code of our profession and not aligned with my moral standards.
I accept I was short with her but she was trying to force me into performing an illegal activity.”I watched her collect up the paper and the colour drained from her face. I never did hear from HR. She got fired not long after when I casually mentioned to the CEO in a bar if she remembered the encounter and explained why I may have appeared a little frustrated and upset. Bye Felicia.
21. Messy customers
Not sure if it fits but during an insanely busy weekend before Christmas, a Karen was complaining to every associate about how messy our store was. The manager had relieved the girl at the fitting room and was helping to hang stuff. Karen pulled her aside and was trying to make a point that we were messy and a horrible place to shop.
At this manager told her roughly, “Ma’am we’re messy at the moment because we’re a popular store. And the biggest reason we’re messy is because of woman like you who can’t be bothered to pick up after themselves. It’s not the associates making the mess. It’s people like you. Your type have us outnumbered.” First time I actually witnessed someone deflate.
22. Hiring hierarchy
I was working as a consultant for a company, there was a bit of a competition between me and this guy, the company starts to have some financial issues so I leave and start working for a client of theirs. Shortly after joining they bring in this guy I was competing with at my old job, he was technically my equal except now I was employed by the client and he was just a consultant.
He was trying to one-up me during meetings and my boss told him that decisions are made by the company not the consultants. It felt good.
23. Standing up to authority
I was a registration supervisor in an emergency department. Our manager was out for heart surgery so the manager of a different facility was filling in. She was righteous and needed everyone to bow to her authority. During a staff meeting she tried to implement a policy that the president of our hospital has specifically rejected.
Nothing major, just a process change in how we checked in patients arriving by EMS. This policy worked at her facility but we weren’t equipped to implement it. She knew this but thought she was going to force us to do it as a way of showing how it was “the better way”.
After she gave the instructions she said, “any questions?” My staff all turned and looked at me for a moment, then one of them said, “is this okay?” “No. As you know, we’ve been told not to do this. Please continue arriving those patients as we have been.”
The manager flipped out and tried to write me up for insubordination. Took it to the director who knew we weren’t allowed to make this change. He shot her down and dismissed my write-up. It was super validating. It also helped me with my staff because they saw that I wouldn’t let them or myself be pushed around.
24. Bring your own chair
When I went to a music festival. I brought a camping chair because I get terrible backache after a few days of sleeping in a tent and sitting without back support. I don’t mind others using the chair when I’m not around though. So I returned to my tent for a meal, and a guy (friend of a friend) sat in my chair.
So I asked him if I could get it back. He said “nobody is sitting on that coolbox over there” So I said “great, so you have somewhere else to sit then.” He kept arguing that it would do me no harm to sit somewhere else for a while and that he deserved to enjoy my comfy chair for a while as well.
So I said “Dude, I went to the store to buy a chair, strapped the chair to my backpack and hauled it all the way over here, while you were too lazy to do so, and now you believe you are entitled to make use of MY stuff? You can get out of my chair right this moment please, and you’re lucky I’ll allow you to sit on my coolbox.”
25. Flying first class
A co-worker friend of mine was flying back from a sales conference in Vegas and he was able to upgrade to a first-class seat. We had this sales VP that was on the same flight – she was the snobby, entitled type with a full-time nanny and giant McMansion in the suburbs, and she generally treated people who worked for her like servants.
She sees him in a first-class seat as she is making her way to coach and asks him how he got that seat (he used points to upgrade). As people are getting settled in, she makes her way back up to the first-class cabin and asks to speak with the lead flight attendant. She tells him that one of her underlings is sitting in first-class and that she needs to switch with him since she’s higher on the corporate ladder.
The guy can’t believe what he’s hearing, but she won’t take no for an answer. Finally, he tells her she has to go back to her seat, or she will be escorted from the plane. She made a complete a** of herself in front of the whole first-class cabin.
26. Way past its warranty
This woman had kept a receipt for 11 years. She tried to return an empty tin that once had yarn in it and pickles (they were, sadly, still in the jar.) I told her absolutely not, please leave with your health hazard jar of pickles. She insisted that she bought these items yesterday (I had been there all day) and that if she was refused, she would call my manager because she knew HER on a first name basis.
I said, “by all means.” So she got out her phone, spoke loudly about the rude, fat, ugly man who wouldn’t take her return, then said “oh you want me to tell him he’s fired if he doesn’t take them? Okay. Thanks hon.” She turns to me, smug, and shoves the receipt at me.
“Funny,” I said. “You said you were going to call the store manager. And yet my phone didn’t ring.” She looked absolutely horrified and said she called our head of HR. “Also male, and I can call him if you like.” She said she meant the regional manager. “Also male, I can give you his number if you like.”
She picked up the jar of pickles as if to throw them, then my coworker quite calmly snatched them from her hand and threw them out outside.
27. No salute needed
One of my buddies was standing gate guard on a base and a lady pulls up. He checks her ID and sees she is an Admiral’s wife but she is a civilian. He waved her through but she gets an attitude and demanded he salute her. He told her no ma’am you are not military and to proceed on base. She proceeded to start screaming at him to salute her so he walks up to the vehicle and salutes the Admiral sticker on the car and told the lady to move along.
She speeds off and a few minutes later he sees the Admiral’s car come rolling up from the base side. Admiral gets out asks if he was the one who interacted with is wife. My buddy said yes sir thinking he was gonna get in deep s***. Admiral looks him in the eye and said “if she ever does that s*** again you let me know and I’ll set her straight”.
28. Who audits the auditors?
We were set for our yearly audit. The auditor shows up and she’s wearing high heels. We are an industrial machine shop. We have a PPE policy that includes wearing steel toe boots. If you don’t have them, we provide you with these gaudy bright yellow steel boot covers.
We call them the clackets because you make the clack similar to a shoed horse walking around in them. The person greeting them exchanges pleasantries, asks if she has steel toe shoes she would like to change into, and presents her with the clackers when she says no.
The auditor got in a huff over it and our greeter was just like “You are here to audit us on our policies and procedures. The safety of those in our shop is our top priority. I cannot allow you to enter the facility if you cannot follow our safety policy.”
I don’t know if the person who sent the auditor informed her of what she was actually doing or what, but the audit that day was cancelled and rescheduled and we all had a good laugh that someone showed up to a machine shop dressed like that for an audit.
29. No more music privileges
I had a moment with my students. I had been allowing them to listen to music on their AirPods during independent work but they abused it by playing the music too loud ( I could hear it from across the room!) So one day I said nope no more AirPods. Since you want music we will listen to the instrumental music I picked out.
The Queen Bee in the class was trying to convince me to let them use their AirPods and I wasn’t having it so she said to the class, “Come on guys! Peer pressure!” At which point I stood in front of her and said calmly, “You are not my peer.” She stared at me like I slapped her and was quiet for the rest of the class.
30. No parent? No ticket
My first job was at the box office of a movie theatre. The rule was you had to be 18 to see a Rated R movie but you could go see if a parent/guardian was somewhere in the building seeing a different movie. A mom tried to buy tickets for her daughter and friends to go see one.
I explained the rules and she was enraged. She demanded to see the manager who explained the rules and refused the sale. Finally, she tried to claim that the sale should happen because her husband is a doctor. I just laughed.
31. Someone’s got to tell Mum
My sister had recently helped me rearrange my bedroom at my boyfriend’s house, and while we were at my parents’, she made a comment relating to the location of the bed or something. She referred to the bedroom as my boyfriend’s room, which confused my father.
He apparently was under the assumption that my boyfriend and I were sleeping in different bedrooms. I told him, no, we slept in the same bed. My father experienced a sort of devilishly delighted epiphany. I shared a bed with my boyfriend. He started rubbing his hands together and asked what I would pay him to not squeal to my mom.
I told him: “You seem confused. I don’t live here, and she loves to shoot the messenger. Enjoy death.” And I left their house, proud.
32. Stay in your lane
I was driving home and I saw a guy try to use a turn lane that was closed due to construction. The cones had enough of a gap for a car to fit through and this guy in a truck tried to use the lane. The guy in the forklift sees this, drives up in front of the truck, and moves the cone right in front of the truck.
He then stared down the driver before getting back into the forklift and going back to work. The dude in the truck was so flabbergasted he just sat there. I’m in the next lane over laughing my a** off when the light changes.
33. This purchase requires ID
Lady at a convenience store threw a fit because the POS terminal asked for her ID when she was buying cigarettes. As in, it needs to be scanned to go any further. She started screaming how she didn’t need one, and she was clearly old enough to buy. She refused to give them her ID.
So the clerk just looked at her and with a deadpan look said “alright, have a nice day then. I can help the next customer over here!” Then the clerk told the lady “ma’am you’re going to have to scooch over a bit so I can help these customers. Thanks!” Lady threw a bigger fit and started screaming some more.
Clerk kept ignoring her and the manager came out to see what was going on. Tried to calm the screaming lady down but she wasn’t stopping. The manager said “Sorry, but we don’t serve children unless accompanied by an adult. You need to leave my store before I call the cops.” The screaming lady said, “I am a cop, you idiot.”
The manager replied, “yeah, cops get arrested all the time, you’re not a special case.” Lady just stared at her for 10 seconds, as if she was ready to fight before just deflating and finally leaving.
34. New year, same job
Went to pick up to-go food at the Chili’s I used to work for. My old manager was still there. His idea of teaching me the job was basically mocking me and making fun of me for any/all mistakes I made. Whatever, I lied to get the job anyway, saying that college just wasn’t for me and I wouldn’t be going anywhere in the fall.
Manager: “Oh, heyyyyy. You still in coooooooooooollege?” with a smug look on his face. Me: “Oh! How’s it going? Yep, still in college. You’re still here, I see.”
35. Blaming the mechanic
Use to work at a new car dealer as a tech. I get paged to the breezeway (where customers drop off and pick up). Manager and customer standing next to the car I had worked on earlier. The manager turns to me and yells at me “Did you smoke in this customer’s car?” “… uh…. I don’t smoke….. so no”.
I’m thinking WTF Mike, you know I don’t smoke. Mike turns back to the customer with a eat s*** smile on his face.. “the tech who worked on your car doesn’t smoke, so we would appreciate it if you didn’t make false accusations”. The customer, who did smoke, had a cigarette burn in his seat and decided to blame me for it and was then politely told to pound sand.
36. Telling dad
I was working at a medical practice to help out my parent who needed some extra front desk support during Covid. I was getting cussed out and chewed up and down by a Karen with a 15-year-old in tow, who were both refusing to wear masks while waiting in the lobby.
She told me to go get the owner of the practice, and I turned around and said … “Dad? Someone wants to complain about me to you” and she shut up reeeeaaaaallll fast.
37. Not your department
My manager who was removed after a complaint from my colleague moved to the competing company. We were partners on a project and once the manager moved, I took over the project. Unfortunately, the ex-manager took over that project at the new company. After a few weeks, I got my colleague who had complained about the manager back on this project.
The ex- Manager in a weekly call suggested not to have the colleague in the team. I plainly said, “Sorry to say, but you cannot tell who works and doesn’t work in the project. This is our internal matter”. He didn’t have much to say after that.
38. Calling the bluff
Every time when an annoying customer pulled out the “you’re hearing from my lawyer if you don’t to X”-Card. Because then I was literally obligated to answer “Alright, I have to inform you that I mustn’t speak to you anymore due to legal reasons. Our legal department will sort everything out as soon as we hear from your lawyer. Have a nice day!”
Usually, you could see them turning white and stutter stuff like “No lawyer.. expensive… Can’t you just… I’m sorry” blah blah blah. They would then agree to the policy then and deal with the situation like adults.
39. Dishwasher knows best
Had a Chef come to the kitchen trying to throw his weight around. Within a week the dishwasher proceeded to explain to him how the kitchen was run and the way it was going to be run. The Chef went to b**** to the owner. The owner said the dishwasher had been here for 8 years and knows how he, the owner, wanted things run. Told the Chef to get back to work and to quit b****ing.
40. Calling the superiors
Military service in my country is compulsory, so I was drafted. I ended up at a post in a military hospital, as a server for the other conscripts. I was roaming the hospital out of curiosity when I “bumped” into someone smoking just outside of a door. Smoking was prohibited everywhere in the hospital except one place, this conversation ensued:
“Excuse me, Sir, you can’t smoke here.” *looks at me and my rank, and ignores me* “Sir, please, there’s a designated area for smoking.” “You can’t tell me what to do, you are a mere soldier. Leave now before you get reported.” I left, only to go to our CO, who was in the lobby. I explain to him what happened, and the look on his face was “I will f*** him up, him and his whole family tree.”
“You! Stop smoking now!” “Didn’t I tell you to bugger off? Oh s***! I’m sorry Sir!”
41. Holding all the cards
At a previous job (pre-pandemic) I was able to work from home a couple of days a week, which made the long commute kind of bearable. Word came that higher-ups were putting an end to deals like mine, so I found a closer job and gave verbal notice. A few days later they told me that per company policy, I had to give two weeks written notice, thus staying a few days longer.
I pointed out that state law trumps company policy, and in a right-to-work state they are owed zero notice.
Later we were having a discussion about when I could be in the office to transition some responsibilities, and the boss breaks out “I could just order you to come into the office every day,” to which I responded, “I could just tell you today is my last day.”
42. An unfortunate association
My uncle called me to tell me he was going to ruin me, because we have the same initials so when people google him and his company I’m the first thing that comes up. He does steel erection and I’m going into law. He wanted to put his initials and erection together as his website and told me that I probably don’t want those two things together when people look me up.
The next week I bought every domain name that had our initials together, our last name and his company name. I called him to let him know that I was actually already the owner of the domains and we can negotiate a price if he’d like to buy it from me. I felt like a god after this.
43. Not a paying customer
I worked for an AV company and was setting up a PA system in the rooftop bar of a hotel. As I was lifting a speaker onto a stand somebody came up and asked me what floor the pool was on. I responded, “I don’t know”. They then asked if I could find out for them. I said “Nope.” and kept working. They walked off in a huff only to return about 5 minutes later with one of the hotel managers.
Pointed at me and said ” He was extremely rude and refused to get me the info I asked for. The manager informs them that I’m not an employee of the hotel, but the hotel would still like to make it up to them and askes for the complainer’s room number. Complainer states they aren’t a guest at the hotel. The manager says “Oh, well then there’s nothing I can do for you” and walks away.
44. Leaving gracefully
I knew I was being laid off when my manager came to my cubicle “for a quick meeting.” I was done there anyway. In the conference room was a woman from HR. She had her mock “concern” voice and was holding an envelope. I knew it was my information on severance, etc. I let her say her piece.
When she was done she asked if I had any questions. My manager, who had actually just been hired and no one on the team liked him, interrupted me, slid a pen and yellow paper pad towards me and told me to write my computer password on the tablet. Being a software developer I knew they didn’t need my password.
I know the sysadmins can get into my computer without it. Since he had interrupted me I ignored him and looked at the HR lady and asked, “Is that my severance package?” She said yes. My now ex-manager said, “I need your password” and slid the pad closer to me. I looked at it, and at him, then gently grabbed the envelope from the HR lady and said, “Thanks!” and left.
45. Flying off-duty
I spent quite a few years as a part-time flight attendant just for the free flight benefits. If you work for one airline, you can fly free on all of them. There’s an unwritten rule. Anyway, I as a favour I picked up working a flight that dumped me in a city that wasn’t where I lived. So I decided to jumpseat on a competitor’s airline to get home. Still in my uniform.
As I’m walking up the aisle to my coach seat in the back, some f*** in first-class shoves a glass in my chest and says “I’ll take another.” I shove it right back into his chest but with slightly more force and say “Get it yourself.” Just when he is about to mouth off, I point to my employee pin…with the logo of a different airline than the aircraft we were both passengers on. Felt amazing.
46. Arguing with the Ski King
I was a special Sheriff’s Deputy at the Aspen airport during the early ’90s. The Aspen Ski Company pretty much ran the town back then. One day the president of said company came to the airport and tried to park right in front, illegally. I was on the job and explained that it was not permitted to park where he was.
He stood on my toes long enough to bark at me who he was. I told him it was a safety issue, and he’d have to park in the short term parking. He moved his car, went inside for a while, and stormed out giving me the evil eye. Turns out he went inside and b****ed at the airport director that I was a horrible, rude person.
The director quizzed him about what went on, and it became apparent that the president dude was sooo in the wrong. My boss stood up to the most powerful man in Aspen and told him he had complete confidence in me. He suggested that president dude should apologize to me for being a jerk while I was doing my job properly (he didn’t). That felt good. I ran the cop program the next year.
47. TV troubles
Years ago I used to be in the army and I was on Guard commander duty. Basically, I was in charge of the gate guard and the patrol guard. Here in the UK, we are supposed to have TV licences but I knew full well that all the lads on camp never had one. Well, during my shift a guy rocks up to the gate waving a badge and claiming that he can see television screens in the camp from outside and that there are no registered licences for the entire camp.
He expected me to let him into the camp to deliver fine notices for non-payment of a tv licence. I simply reminded him that this is a secure base and he cannot enter under any circumstances. He got a bit irate claiming that he was working for the government or some s***.
My crowning moment was saying something like “I might warn you that the man on the gate also works for the government but unlike you, is carrying a weapon with live rounds now get the f*** off my barracks.”
48. Rival karate houses
In my old karate club, the Sensei was middle-aged and content to just run a small club and not work to expand. One of his students (let’s call him Bob) got bigger plans, and started a new organisation. He ran it well and it grew, and the two clubs existed without bothering one another.
Until one student from the new club felt some bad vibes there, learned about Sensei’s smaller outfit, and switched over. Bob didn’t take it well. He came over during training one day, with two of his senior students, and my mate sees them coming in and warns Sensei.
Sensei goes to them at the door and listens while Bob has a rant. Finally, he just tells Bob the student is free to choose his own club, and if he chooses Sensei’s club then Sensei will stand up for that choice. Then Bob does the stupidest thing – he threatens Sensei. So Sensei played his ‘you have no power here’ card: “Do you think you can intimidate me with your two mates? I taught you everything you know, but I never taught you everything I know.”
What a line…
49. Pay for my time
I had just clocked out from an eight-hour shift at the bar I worked at, went out to the bar to sit down and relax before heading home. The owner came in with this big ol’ attitude and started b****ing about everything and then asked for help fixing some random stuff.
Not really having started drinking yet I said alright and went to clock back in and got yelled at about how it’d only take a couple of minutes and not to clock in. Just responded by sitting back down, I don’t work for free.
50. Detention overridden!
At my middle school, there was this insane teacher that everyone hated including the teachers and she eventually got fired. The main reason most kids hated her was that she gave stupid and unfair punishments like giving someone a month’s detentions for needing to go to the bathroom.
So we all found out that she got fired and so we were all happy. She taught one more class before packing up her things and leaving just to finish off the week and she decided to give us a project that was due on Monday which she obviously couldn’t do.
We were all telling her that she can’t do that and we even were able to get another teacher to come and vouch for us but she held her ground and would not listen. The crazy teacher proceeded to give everyone detention for the rest of the school year (from January to June) because we argued with her which she obviously wasn’t allowed to do as she had gotten fired.
The other teacher basically said to her, “I’m sorry but you don’t work here anymore so you can’t do that” and pointed her down to the main office. That was a good day for us.
51. Diminishing returns
My small town holds a huge pride parade every year. I’ve gone to it 5 times and every single time, there was the same group of Christians holding signs telling us were going to Hell. First time I went I saw around 15 people, next year 10 people, next year 8 people, and blah blah blah well last year there was one dude. Just the ONE dude.
A couple of drag queens walked by him. One of them stopped and said, “Thanks for coming honey, love you, you look gorgeous!” And that’s it. That’s all they did. Saw the guy later in the very back of the place at the drag queens show. Still holding his sign up and yelling at us until people got him to shut up.
52. Long hair don’t care
I grew up in a strict military family. I had to press my shirts (yes, even t-shirts after I was eventually allowed to wear them) and jeans or pants prior to leaving the house. I was also required to get a haircut every two weeks, which was a high and tight.
When I turned 16 years old I got my first job. After receiving my first paycheck my dad happily announced that I can now start paying for my haircuts since I have a job now. Over the course of the next two years, we screamed and yelled at the dinner table because I never cut my hair.
It went all the way down to my shoulders and he was completely embarrassed, constantly expressing that he would pay for my haircut. I refused, saying I had a job now and can pay for my own haircuts. I had long hair until I went to college.
53. Right on time
At a job, I slaved three years of my life away to my boss always tried the good ole “I’m barely making any money doing this”. Our start time was 7:30, and we didn’t start getting paid until 7:30. One day, he started wanting us to get ready to go out to work at 7:15, stating that we’d be ahead of traffic. So we do this once.
I write in for that time on my timesheet. He wasn’t happy, saying: “I didn’t approve this. And tomorrow I need you here ASAP so we can leave”. Come the next day, I walk in at 7:29 to have him scold at me about being late. I gave him a funny look and said he didn’t pay me to be in that early. Never heard it from him again.
54. Complaining to the higher-ups
I hired a new buyer for our company. I’m in my late 40s, she is in her late 50s. We were having a one on one meeting and discussing the fact that she didn’t like to do the receiving aspect of her job. I told her I understood but it’s important to understand and have control over the flow of inventory from buying to receiving to put into stock. She didn’t want to do that.
She began to argue with me about it and I calmly responded back to her. Not getting her way, she stood up and said “I think the meeting is done” to which I said, “no, it’s not… sit down”. She complained to one of the two company owners about me. That owner is my husband. Gosh, at least complain to the one I’m not married to (and is actually my boss….).
55. Away from the workplace
There’s a regular customer who comes into the restaurant where I work at least once a week. He’s VERY demanding and we basically all hate him but not enough to ban him. I ran into him at Costco one time and just said hello to him as we passed in an aisle. He looked at me with a surprised look and really went “Hey! I need a pack of toilet paper and also some paper towels.”
I thought he was joking and then with a stern look he goes “They’re that way” and pointed toward the back of the store. I responded that I was shopping myself and he goes “So you’re not going to grab those for me?” I laughed and said no. He huffed and walked away all p***ed off.
I found out two days later from my manager that he called in to complain about me not helping him AT COSTCO WHERE I DIDN’T WORK and some bull**** that “Whether I was clocked in or not I was representing the restaurant.” My manager basically laughed him off and he still comes in to this day but gives me the side-eye every time.
56. Father knows best
My dad was a HAM radio operator before he died. About once or twice a month he would go into our local Radio Shack to buy parts. Radio Shack was heavily commissions based for their sales. And most of the time he couldn’t even cross the threshold without a sales rep pestering him immediately on how to help him.
So he walks in one day, sales guy practically runs up to him offering his help. My dad annoyed and flustered said I need a 5 pack of solder on PL259 coaxial connectors. The sales guy hesitates and says “sorry, we don’t sell that.” “Oh really?” my dad replies, then proceeds to walk over to the shelf, grabs the connectors he needs, and walks to the checkout.
While this happens the manager comes out, he’s known my dad for years from a previous job. “Sorry Bruce, new guy.” The manager, John, proceeds to show the poster of dad’s face to the new guy that says underneath (and I swear this was true, I saw the poster) “Do not help this man, he knows the inventory better than you do.”
57. Taking care of yourself
I was in college on an academic scholarship that covered everything, and making a little money tutoring (just enough to buy groceries and pay my car insurance lol). I broke up with my ex, and he tried to take revenge by telling my parents about every bad thing I had basically ever done.
My religious parents were p***ed. Then I got a call from my dad telling me to pack my bags and transfer to the local university. I asked him what was he going to do, cut me off? I never asked you for s*** since I moved out at 17. You can be angry I lied, but you can’t order me to do anything.
58. My castle, my rules
I worked as Cinderella at Disney World, and had a shift welcoming guests in the lobby of the castle. There was a mom sitting over in the corner (her family had reservations to eat in the castle restaurant, she had every right to be there) nursing her baby and another woman snidely mentioned to her husband how inappropriate it was for her to be breastfeeding in public.
I let it it slide because I had some cute kids chatting with me.. but then she loudly announces that “no one wants to see that, she needs to cover-up”. So I went over to her stroller where there was a blanket hanging over the handle and handed it to her and she said “umm what is this for?” I said, “oh dear, it’s for your head, so you don’t have to see someone feeding their baby, go on, cover-up.”
I never thought I’d see a grown-ass woman be so embarrassed by a girl in a costume, but it was glorious. Then she went over to MY attendant to tell on me and my attendant told her “well, you’re in her castle, house rules”.
59. Taking a long weekend
In High School, I was really into Model U.N. (sorry to all the ladies who just slid off their chairs), and worked my a** off for three years to qualify to represent a Permanent Member of the Security Council, aka Model U.N. God Mode. Those f***ers gave me El Salvador. No disrespect to El Salvador it’s, a beautiful country but it’s not a country that accomplishes much at the U.N.
So instead of learning about El Salvador and its issues, I researched how to withdraw from all its multilateral obligations and renounce the U.N. Charter. Pulled out on the first morning of the conference and enjoyed a beautiful long weekend on the University of Arizona campus.
60. Knowing your role
My favourite was when I was just a lowly supervisor and the VP of the Prairies came in for a semi-surprise walk of the store and my manager couldn’t answer a single question about why things were done the exact opposite way corporate wanted things done.
She then struck up a convo with me and asked me if I knew what was done wrong and I gave the correct answer as to why it was done wrong and on who’s behalf. She then said to do it the right way from now on, do not listen to your manager and if gives you a hard time here is my number. The daggers in my manager’s eyes could have pierced diamond.
61. Returning stolen goods
Working retail, late 90’s. Customer is trying to do a return without a receipt, store policy was that we can give store credit for the amount of the lowest sale price without a receipt. Dude was incredulous and demanded a cash refund for the current price. I explained the policy and offered to call a manager over. Manager on duty that night is now one of my favourite people ever.
He had my back and said that I had explained the policy correctly and we would be happy to issue a store credit. Dude got p***ed and started in on “I spend a lot of money in this stor–” Manager: “Not anymore you don’t. Get out of my store.” Dude stood there for a few seconds, stunned, set the item he was trying to ‘return’ which he had obviously stolen because he left it there and walked out.
62. Don’t mess with student services
Back in high school, we were cursed with an absolute psychopath of a sub. She was writing down names for the most minor infractions. She made the star student cry because she told her that she would be written up. Eventually, she started sending kids to Student Services and once half the class was there, the head of Student Services (Ms D) marched her a** down to the classroom to see what was happening.
The sub was immediately defensive and demanded to know who this lady was. Ms D told her she was concerned that she was writing people up for nothing, to which the sub threatened to “Call Student Services.” To which Ms D replied, “I am Student Services.” For the rest of high school, I called her Palpatine.
63. Knowing who your real friends are
Back in middle school, I had a birthday party. I was someone who was picked on, so only a few people were invited. My parents surprised me by renting me one of those game truck things(if you don’t know what that is, it’s kinda like a gaming cafe, but in a truck) that day.
One of my friends probably posted about it on social media, and then about a dozen more people show up at my home claiming that they were invited to my party just so that they could use the game truck. Some of them were, unsurprisingly, some of the a**holes that had bullied me day in, day out.
Luckily, my dad recognized some of the bullies and called them out after they began to make a scene, demanding that I let them have a turn in the game truck. For a good 10 minutes, he yells at them for ruining my birthday and being rude a**holes, then he goes on and gives their parents a piece of his mind as well. They all left soon after that.
64. Haggling like a pro
This guy and I were at an Indian store shopping for clothes for a fancy party. He tries on an outfit and falls in love with it and the shop owner could tell. With the price tag being $1300 I called my mom for advice (she’s a master negotiator) and she advised us to pretend to walk out.
The owner says to her coworker in Punjabi ”this guy will buy it at full price.” I turned to her and spoke back in Punjabi (which clearly she didn’t think I understood or spoke) and said, no he won’t, because he’s my fiancé and you won’t rip us off. We walked out paying $150 for it.
65. Who’s in charge?
I used to be an IT guy who also managed social media and all the ads for a decent sized local business. It was a pretty cushy job and I was good friends with the GM and owner both. One day they hired someone to work on their website and some other stuff and he introduced himself as my new boss and said he was in charge of me “and everyone back here” referring to all the shipping and online workers.
He was a complete jacka** and thought he was better than everyone and could get away with it, but what he didn’t realize was I was good friends with the owners and they basically let me do what I wanted already. So I just told him there’s no way he was my boss, and if he was then I was quitting that day. I then asked my actual boss and the owner if he was in charge and they just said, “If anything, you’re in charge of him.” He wasn’t very happy lol.
66. One line for everyone
I used to work as a security officer at a county courthouse. Tremendously boring most days, but every now & then we’d get someone who thought they were too special to go through the screening process. This guy comes up and flashes his Bar Card like it’s a badge and says “don’t worry, it’s cool, I’m a lawyer and I’m running late. You don’t want to keep the judge waiting, do you?”
I said “well, sir, you’re in luck! I have a special line just for that!” He said “really?” I said “No. You have to go through screening just like everyone else.” He started flipping his s*** and screams “DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?!?” I said “Yeah, you’re the guy that’s keeping the judge waiting. Probably not a good idea, I hear they hate that.”
67. Doing what you’re asked to do
Without getting into specifics, I used to work in a public setting. This meant that our “customers” receive services for free, and I was paid a set salary no matter the number of clients or their satisfaction. One day I was in a phone meeting with one such client. She was in a terrible mood because she kept swearing and making unreasonable demands for FREE services.
The more I tried to de-escalate her or explain what services we were allowed to provide, the angrier she became. Finally, she threw out this gem, “If you don’t like what I’m saying, then you can just hang up!” It was with utter glee and relief that I replied, “As you wish. Have a good day.” And hung up. I’m still not sure how she expected that one to play out in her favour…
68. Not a student
I’ve always looked a lot younger than I actually am, and one day I had to drop off a toolbox for my dad who worked as a high school teacher. After checking in at the office and getting a visitor’s badge I was in the hall, and got a call from my boss. As I’m talking to him a teacher tells me that I need to hang up the phone, and when I don’t immediately do so, threatens to take it away from me.
The look on her face was priceless when I pointed to my visitor’s badge, and politely informed her that I wasn’t a student, and hadn’t been one for about five years.
69. Hit the road Jack
It wasn’t me but my store manager at Home Depot. When I started at the store, at the contractor desk, I was warned day one about a certain customer. He was a pain in the a** that always complained, demanded discounts and refunds for his “inconvenience” you all know the type.
One day he came in and I happen to be the only one at the desk at the time and he was ranting and raving and demanding to speak to my manager. I called her, she came over and the guy starts laying into her with his usual bulls***. At one point she stopped him and said (I’m paraphrasing here).
“You know what? No. I’ve had enough of you. I’m tired of you treating my employees this way and I’m tired of you talking to me this way. You have threatened for years to never come back and take your business to Lowe’s and you know what it’s time for you to do just that.
I know the manager at Lowe’s and I will be more than happy to call him up and let him know how much money you spend a year here and I’m sure he’ll be happy to help you. I will process this refund and then I want you to leave my store and never set foot in it again.”
70. Impatience doesn’t pay off
I manage a restaurant and one day a third party delivery driver comes in to pick up an order that’s not ready yet. I politely let him know how long it’s going to take and he starts winning and complaining about how long it’s going to take. I continue to be sympathetic and polite and explain to him things take time to prepare. He counties to argue with me until finally, I’ve had enough.
I tell him if it’s such a big deal he can do the order to which he gets even more upset and starts personally insulting me. I tell him he needs to leave my store and he responds saying he’s going to wait for the order. I say, “someone’s taking this order but it won’t be you. Now get the f*** out of my store,” then turn and walk and start to walk away. He meekly cries out, “your store?” To which I shout over my shoulder whilst still walking away, “yes, my f***ing store.”
71. 15 items or less
A rude middle-aged lady had a cart full in the express lane at the supermarket. The cashier tells her she can’t have more than 15 items and the lady goes off: she does this all the time, her old, sick mother is waiting for her (pointing at a frail-looking old woman), etc. I’m next in line so I tell her shame on her for admitting that she is s***ty like this all the time and embarrassing her mother in public like that. She looked at me like she wanted to punch me and changed lanes.
72. Take your change
When I was a teen in the 1980s, I worked at local savings and loan where my Dad was VP. My desk was located behind the teller windows. One evening near closing — tellers were balancing their receipts, putting money in the safe — an older woman arrives to do a transaction. She has a specific demand for small bills. The teller explains it’s the end of the day, etc.
The customer becomes very irate, berates and accuses the teller of lying, and states that she’s the Sheriff’s wife. The head teller is unable to calm this woman. My dad is summoned from his second-floor office. I watched him walk across the lobby, and he was P***ED. She started to complain, but he interrupted her: “You don’t talk to my employees like this.” He turns to the teller. “I want you to close her accounts. Right now.”
The woman is really mad, again states she’s the Sheriff’s wife and he can’t do this. “I don’t care who you are, I’m closing your accounts.” He turns to walk away, but before he does he instructs the teller: “And give her the money in nickels.” Without another word, he walked back across the lobby.
73. Too proud to move
I worked at an RV park when I was 21 years old. A woman came in one night and told me she wanted a specific site number. We didn’t have many openings. I asked the length of her rig and if she was going to unhitch it She said she wasn’t. I told her her hitched rig wouldn’t fit into that site if hitched.
She raised holy hell at me bc she “knew” it would fit. So, I let her pay for that site after her tantrum. Next morning early I arrive at work and see her in the parking lot ( not in the paid site) with no utilities, water, sewage. She was too proud to ask for a different site and spent the night there in the parking lot. I felt vindicated.
74. Dad’s the boss
I used to work at a car wash. I did every job I could there to make some cash, the supervisor loved to boss me around and overall be a terrible person. Finally one day he told me to do something and I said: “No, get off your lazy a** and do it yourself.” He told me I’m fired. I said, “No, I don’t think so, get your stuff and leave I’ll make sure your check gets to you.”
He said, “You’re under me here I’m in charge.” So he pulled out his phone and called the owner. “Hi, Mr. King, I have a worker here being insubordinate. Then he told me to get my stuff and leave when I told him he’s fired.” The owner said he would like to speak to me and he was put on speaker. I said, “Hi, Dad, how’s your day?”
75. Calling in sick
In 2006, I was working for Coca Cola in California. I had just left the U.S. after serving for 8 years. I’m working at a McDonalds in Hollywood when my phone chimes and alerts me that I have a text message. I ignore it because I’m in the middle of changing water filters and the water is completely shut off to every soda machine. A few minutes later there’s another text message and then another.
I get the water turned back on and check my phone. It’s a string of text messages from NCO’s and Staff Sergeants, and they are highly upset at me. They want to know why I didn’t show up for CQ duty (basically guard/ babysitting duty). Apparently, the roster had not been updated. They didn’t know that I was no longer in the Army. I replied back to them that I wasn’t coming in.
Didn’t feel like working today. Just messing with them because they didn’t know. Oh man, that’s when they really got p***ed. They threatened to give me an Article 15 unless I reported I’m 10 minutes. That’s when I took a photo of my discharge papers (DD-214) and sent it to them. They responded with “you could have told us that in the first place. Thanks a lot.” That felt so good.
76. A speedy escape
A cop accused me of going 87mph in the right lane in traffic behind a truck, ticket and everything. In court I pointed out that the ticket said he lasered me at 297 yards. I told him in court at the podium that if he could hit a target moving through traffic at 87mph across 3 football fields that I would sponsor him for the Olympic shooting team.
The judge pointed out that they are only legally reliable at 200 yards and then she asked him if there was any other evidence that I was speeding. The best is that I had been speeding earlier on the trip but a mile ahead of my exit I moved into the right lane behind a truck and that’s where he lasered me.
77. A cheesed off customer
I work at my parent’s food store. It’s a small business owned by my parents and operated by them, me, my brothers and 6 employees. One day there was a Karen and she asked me if she can return a piece of cheese. She couldn’t, we didn’t sell the kind of cheese she wanted to return, we never sold it. Plus, who tf returns food? She got real angry and wanted to speak to the manager. I just turned around and went “Mum. Tell her.”
It felt really good to tell her off, because I knew my parents would always take my side.
78. The planet comes first
When I was working as an urban planner for the government in a Gulf country, we had a very strong mandate and that included environmental and social considerations. The developers were used to bullying their way to get anything until one wanted to put a nightmare project on a fragile environmental site. All the way from the Crown Prince down I received the go-ahead to do what’s best and that I’d be supported.
So I said, “nope,” to billionaire investors from the Gulf, Russia, and elsewhere, and I’m just this little American Urban Planner. I nope’d it all the way up to the Crown Prince who was behind me. I was their worst nightmare and yet such a small player to them.
79. No ticket? No entry
I work at a theme park in So Cal where my “boss” is a mouse. Guest bought a fraudulent ticket from Craigslist (a major problem for us). I informed the Guest that the ticket was, unfortunately, not valid, and he wouldn’t be able to use it for entry. Cue entitled behaviour: pointing me out to his kids and saying that the “mean lady” wouldn’t let them in, he paid good money for this ticket and he wasn’t about to leave, etc.
He finally pulled the race card, since I’m whiter than most white folx. “You’re just doing this because I’m Mexican! You’re racist!” Blah, blah, blah. I finally had enough and my Guest Service Facade (TM) cracked. I retorted, “Sir, my married name is Ramirez.” He looked confused, then sputtered, “oh, um, good!” and walked to the ticket booths.
80. An unnecessary job
A friend comes from a well to do family. She still got a job at a fast food joint just to have spending money without being a leech on her dad. She goes in one day and is immediately harassed by this absolute wretch of a woman making unreasonable demands. After refusing to comply, my friend gets threatened with this good old “I’ll have you fired” bit. She looks the woman in the eye and in a flat tone replies, “Ma’am, I own a plane, I don’t need this f***ing job.” The woman just stops and looks like a deer in the headlights.
81. Waiting for payment
My husband just fired a girl on his team. She’s working from home so has a company laptop. She was told to return it, she said she would destroy it instead. So HR let her know the next day that her paycheque will be held until it’s returned. They’re still waiting for the laptop, but she’s still waiting for her cheque!
82. Defying the director
In Uni we had an assignment to make a short film out of an image the professor gave us. The person who took the role of leader/director was a tyrant unable to accept other ideas or ways of doing things, we still went with it anyway. He didn’t know how to edit at all, so me and my friend took charge of that. This guy gave us specific instructions on how it’s supposed to be edited, we thought his ideas were terrible and we had enough so tried our best to save this project as last minute as we could.
In came the final cut and he hated it, it seemed like he went crazy talking about how we ruined it. We presented it in front of the class, and the professor absolutely loved it and even put it as one of his favourites, I’ll never forget the look on that narcissistic a**holes face as everyone applauded, he never spoke to us again
83. Time to leave
When I was 17, I emancipated and was legally considered an adult, my parents contacted me out of the blue and told me I had to either come home and live with them, work for them (for free) or pay back all the money they gave me (allowance, birthday and Christmas money, just that sort of everyday “go buy yourself something” money).
I told them to f*** off and that I didn’t owe them anything. They showed up at my apartment I was renting and started knocking. When I realized it was them I decided to ignore it but they kept knocking. Eventually, I just let them in and they started going through all my stuff and taking anything of value (my tv, laptop, cash) and piling it by the door. I told them to stop and leave right now and they told me to “make them” so I called the police and they got arrested
84. Shady management
So years ago a company I was working for was having issues due to the CEO’s shady dealings. They cut peoples hours back and such so I looked for a new job. I had two little kids and couldn’t afford the hit in pay. I put my notice in and she immediately said I could leave. Freaking out I called corporate HR and was told that since I put in my notice properly and she said terminated me on the spot, I was still legally able to be paid and didn’t have to go back and work.
I assume the manager got a phone call and a half-hour later I was told by the lady who told me to leave that I was expected to come back and work the two weeks. I told her she needs to talk to the corporate HR lady because she said I didn’t have to go back. She slammed the phone down on me because she knew she f***ed up. All this because I made almost as much as she did and she was my boss.
85. Chair snatcher
When working for a fortune 500 companies warehouse, I had gotten promoted off the floor and was happily progressing in my new analyst role, but didn’t have an office yet so I worked on the floor in a corner. One of the new managers in the building approaches me while I’m sitting at my desk churning out some inventory data and tries to take my chair. He goes on this big long rant on how associates aren’t allowed to sit and my sitting is making the other workers angry, not letting me get a word in the meantime.
He takes my chair and locks it into a closet. I pop onto the ole company messenger and reach out to my boss, who happens to be the senior operations manager tell her what just transpired and go to lunch early. By the time I came back, my chair was back and I never heard another complaint. From that point on dude was mortified to mess with me.
86. Dress code
I received a call from my daughter’s middle school because she wore pants instead of a skirt to school on a freezing cold day. The Dean attempted to intimately verbally reprimand her with me on speakerphone. My daughter said, “No disrespect Mr. Whatever, but I’m leaving to go back to my class now. You need to rethink asking mommy to come here while YOU are wearing pants to work on a 10 degree day.”
I heard dead silence, followed by a loud slam of a door. I immediately said, “Sir, sit down-leave her be and choose your next movements wisely”. He said, “Sorry to disturb you…she will not be bothered anymore”. When she got home she said that she knew he didn’t want any smoke and left her alone afterwards. The rule changed the following year-she gave zero effs while the rule was still in effect.
87. Unpleasant task
My wife worked for a company that eventually closed down making everyone redundant. Towards the end she was in charge of repossessing IT asserts for sale. She would go into areas of the company stripping out all but the minimum of equipment needed to continue operation. There was more than a handful of times when formerly well-protected management pulled the old ‘don’t you know who I am’ argument.
She would reply ‘Yep, you’re the ones whose poor decisions mean I won’t have a job in a month’ and then strip that area to the bone.
88. Democracy in practice
Way back when I was in high school, I got elected to go to “Boy’s State”. It was a week-long camp where we learned about government. Each “city” (a group of 20-25 attendees) would elect a mayor, council, etc. Three cities would then form a county and elect commissioners, probate judges, etc and finally, all counties would elect state officials.
Each morning at 5 AM, we were scheduled for calisthenics. Yeah, no. We baulked at that and with a vote of about 480-20, we abolished 5 AM calisthenics. The counsellors that it was funny until everyone slept in the remaining time we were there.
I used to work two jobs, full-time day time at Starbucks, and then a late-night part-time gig at a restaurant. When I was hired at the Starbucks, I was hired for the 10-6 shift which worked great because it allowed me to get enough sleep after my late shift before going back into work. A few months into working at Starbucks I got transferred on to the 7-4 shift instead… which left me with like, 4 hours a night to sleep. I really tried to make it work, but it was just impossible and I kept coming into work late.
One day I’m like 15 minutes late and my manager rudely says “are you ever going to be on time for this job?!” I just said “Yeah… probably not” and quit and went home to go back to bed. It felt glorious.
90. The perfect sandwich
So I worked at potbelly and we had this lady we called Tuna cheddar b****. She had complained so many times her sandwich wasn’t perfect so when she came in one time, the regional manager was in the store. I subtly told him that she was in the store. He watched her sandwich being made and said it was the most perfect sandwich he had seen and if she complained she was barred.
Well, 24 hours later he called me and yelled “SHE IS BANNED FROM ALL OF MY STORES. SHE COMPLAINED AGAIN.” I got to tell her the next evening that unfortunately she is not happy with our service and she is no longer allowed in the store. She said, “But you make them besttttttt.” I replied “apparently not if you complained again. You are the only person who gets tuna with cheddar so we know it is you. Now please leave.”
At work, we had this manager who would harass any employee and tell them to do this that or the other, the exact moment he saw them taking a breather. My job was constantly busy like at all seconds of every hour I was consumed by doing something for work. That’s not an exaggeration. He would catch me on my single seconds of down-time and give me s***ty tasks to do that he could easily complete himself.
One day he decided managing was too much stress and demoted to a rank similar to mine. One day there was a task that had a lot of items needing completing and he says to me, “Hey, you mind helping out on this?” I look him dead in the eye and say, “No thanks. You’re not my manager anymore.” and it was absolutely the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done.
92. Fire alarm
I used to work for a large telecommunications company as a union employee processing adjustments to billing. The building was being worked on and the fire alarms went off. Since there was no prior warning that it was a test or a malfunction people began to evacuate. The management loses it and starts yelling at people to get back to work.
That’s against protocol as an “all clear” needs to be announced AFTER an evacuation. Manager sees me still heading for the door and tries to belittle me in front of the whole floor for being too stupid to follow instructions. I turned to face them and looked them dead in the eye and said: “I am on my non-paid lunch break and you can’t force me to do anything. See you in 30.”
93. School bus rebel
School trip to a foreign country in a coach bus, on the way home this 13-14 y/o kid at the back of the bus asked a teacher if he could be let off the bus early as we drove right past his home, the teacher said: “no, we’re driving back to the school and you can walk home from there.” So the kid pulls out his boom box and starts blasting party music, obviously causing a lot of noise.
30 seconds later the teacher walks back to the kid and asks him to turn it off. He replies with “what are you gonna do, send me home?” Still think about it to this day, what a legend
94. Demanding diner
I work at a diner. Have for 5 years. Had a guy throw a fit because he couldn’t get his meal for free. He always complained about everything. I was the acting manager on the night this happened. He was raising his voice and said “I know the owner. I will have you fired. HE and I are friends.” I laughed and he got even more angry.
I said “Ok, talk to the owner. SHE won’t give a s***.” Asked the owner of she knew him. She didn’t. He tried coming back in a few days later and was told by the female owner “You’re no longer allowed here. You’re banned.”
95. Calling the customer’s bluff
Had a customer in our bank flip out and start yelling and cursing everybody. The bank manager came out, told him to calm down, etc. The man cursed at him and threatened to take his business elsewhere. The manager looked him in the eye, said “Okay. Teller, do you have his account pulled up? Excellent. We’ll mail you a check with the balance of your accounts, thank you.”
Then he turned and walked away without another word, went into his office and stared down the customer, clearly waiting to call the cops if the guy didn’t leave. He did.
96. BBQ boss
I had a BBQ, and hesitantly invited my boss because of how much of a baby he would’ve been if I didn’t. He showed up and tried to run it like it was a work event. I didn’t even bother pulling him to the side, just told him in front of everyone, “Eric, this is my home and you are a guest. I will not have my house run like a warehouse.” He shrunk into his chair and ate quietly until leaving shortly after.
97. Challenging the sergeant
I’m a private at DEMA, and a college of mine kept coming with stupid comments, and suddenly our sergeant told him if he does not shut up the other of us would choose his reward “award”. We chose 20 push-ups, now the idiot decided to challenge the sergeant to a BO1 game of rock, paper, scissors, and whoever lost would take the “reward”.
As they counted down, from 3 to go, right when they had to pick either rock paper or scissors, the sergeant pointed on his shoulder where his mark was. Stating that you do not challenge a sergeant to Rock Paper Scissors.
98. I am the manager
Didn’t witness it myself, but my friend worked as a manager at Dairy Queen. He was short on staff, so was working window personally. Lady came through the drive threw and was arguing about something (can’t remember the details here). He remained calm. She demanded to talk to the manager. He stared at her for a moment, ducked down out of her view from the window, then stood up wearing his hat that read “manager”. Then calmly shrugged his shoulders like “it’s what it is”.
99. Can’t prove anything
When I was in high school, I was grounded for some reason I can not remember. However, there was this big party I wanted to go to. So I stormed into my room and slammed the door and “went to sleep” aka I crawled out the window after my dad had gone to bed and had my friends pick me up at the end of the street. When I returned home, my father had left my bedroom door open just so I would know that he knew I wasn’t in my room.
HOWEVER, my younger brother was spending the night with a friend so I went and slept in his bed. The next morning my father saw me coming out of my younger brother’s room and was just seething because he knew he couldn’t prove I wasn’t in there the whole time and therefore he couldn’t say anything.
100. Fix it yourself
My mom used to have me fix her computer all the time. I was sick of wading through all her s*** when I’d log in, so I created my own profile and stuck a password on it. Now, mind you, I was 30 when this happened. So Mom gets all p***y about how it’s her computer and how I shouldn’t have anything to hide and how I shouldn’t have a password on the profile.
She’s been told a thousand times what it was for. I let her go on and said “You know, I didn’t like it when Eric (my husband) had a profile on my computer either. You know what I did?” “No.” “I learned to fix the f***ing thing my self.” She shut her mouth, but more importantly, she learned to fix the f***ing thing herself.