This article first appeared on gosocial.co
They’re rude to the waiter
If someone is rude to service staff, it’s a sign that they see people in such jobs as being below them. Seeing your date talk to people with a complete lack of respect tells you just about everything you need to know about them. It’s time to get out before they get the chance to talk to you that way!
You’re asking all the questions
We all like talking about ourselves, and doing so to an extent on a first date makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is not being curious about the person you’re on a date with. First dates are all about getting to know each other, so you should both have things you’re wanting to ask the other person.
If you keep asking questions and are being met with lengthy responses without the query even being returned, that person is probably more interested in themselves than they ever are in others.
They’re stuck to their phone
We live in a digital world. Many of us check our phones when we get up, before we go to bed, and many times throughout the day. That’s it’s own issue, but through all this it is important to remind ourselves of when it is and isn’t okay to be using our phones. If there’s an emergency, or they just check it while you go to the bathroom? Fine. No red flags.
If they cannot engage with you and are stuck to the screen for half the date? Definitely a red fag! It’s a sign they don’t value your feelings and have trouble building connection.
They don’t respect your need for comfort or safety
So you’re planning a date with someone you think is really cute. They suggest going to a bar on a side of town you don’t know, or meeting in your home. Naturally, you’d feel unsafe in those environments and say so, trying to suggest somewhere else. Your date, instead of saying that it’s okay and they understand, gets defensive and pushes to meet in the location they suggested.
Not respecting your need for safety, or at least for feeling safe, if a big red flag, and not something you want to encounter further down the line in a relationship.
You’re the only one talking
We trust that you’re not the type to want to spend the whole date talking about yourself, but sometimes there’s nothing else you can do. If your date says they just love hearing you talk and won’t give answers longer than a sentence when you try to lure them into a real conversation, that’s a bad sign.
It means you might end up leading the whole relationship, receiving little initiative from the person you’re dating. Not appealing.
They’re rushing things
While a first date can be seen as vetting someone to see how you’d fit together in a relationship, it shouldn’t be taken super seriously. If they’re already asking about distant future things like marriage, kids on the first date, that’s a little intense.
It might seem like they’re trying to seal the deal for you so you can’t just hop out of that relationship into another one.
They’re overly romantic
If you’re a hopeless romantic, that’s okay. That’s great, even. However, if your partner is offering gifts and grand romantic gestures on the first date, before you’ve laid the proper groundwork and trust for a relationship, get out of there.
This is a tactic called love-bombing where they show you adoration to make you feel secure with them, so when they withdraw that or change it for any reason, you will be wanting to regain their approval.
They’re late without a real reason
If someone is running late for a date with you, they should shoot you a message or call if they’ll be more than five minutes later than the two of you planned. Traffic happens, buses are cancelled, things happen, but your time should be respected.
If they arrive twenty minutes late with nothing to say for themselves, they’re likely just messing you around.
Everything they say is negative
If your date spends your whole time together complaining, you’re in for a bad time. You shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not on a first date, but trying to impress your date a little is a good thing. Your date is not going to impress you through complaining about their job, their family, and their life the whole time you’re together.
If they won’t even try to reel in the complaining on the first date, don’t hold your breath that they will do so later.
You’re the same person
It’s great having things in common with the person you’re dating. If you’re on a first date and they start coming up with the same favourite film, food, and country as you, be a little wary though. They may have been stalking your social media for these answers.
If you’re sure it’s a coincidence, tread with a little caution, as people who are too similar to one another have a tendency to clash somewhere along the line.