Our guide to the do’s and don’ts of dating with Facebook
The arrival of Facebook brought with it not just a totally new way of communicating with friends and family, it also heralded a whole new approach to dating. From singles looking for love to those already in the first flushes of romance, Facebook has enabled us to rip up the traditional and somewhat old-dated rule book and replace it with a host of new modern methods for managing our relationships.
That’s not to say of course it makes the whole process plain sailing. The prospect of securing and growing a fledging relationship into a full blown love affair in an internet age can offer its own challenges and so we here at RelationshipSurgery.com have put together our version of a few ‘rules’ we consider to be worth following;
If you’re single…….
- Search out old friends and colleagues and get them friend requested. By doing so you will widen your pool of dating possibilities, even if not directly with those you’re reconnecting with but by their circle of friends. You don’t need to rely on friends setting you up on blind dates anymore!
- Take some time to clean up your wall and sensor your photos. No potential guy is going to jump at the chance of a date with you if your pics are full of you playing centre stage to a host of hot blokes or showing you propping up every bar in town. No guy wants to hear about you getting wasted or picking up guys. Be sure that you present your best self on Facebook!
- You can be pretty sure that the profiles you see on Facebook are up to date and, more importantly, true! They will actually represent the person they are attached to – unlike online dating sites where daters profiles can be somewhat of a misrepresentation! After all, no one’s entire friend list are going to let them get away with a load of lies or a doctored pic!
- Remember that Facebook isn’t an official dating site, and it is likely that there will be a large proportion of people on it who are not looking for love even if they do describe themselves as single. Be wary with any approach you make as its super easy to come across as a super stalker!
- Be mindful of what you post on Facebook, you are likely to have numerous friends and acquaintances and everyone will have different views and opinions. Updating your status with a general statement may seem harmless to you, but others may read it in a different light and could ultimately put off any potential partner.
If you’re dating…..
- Just as you shouldn’t sit by the phone waiting and hoping for a call, nor should you sit by our laptop waiting and hoping for a reply to your post/message. Chances are, your intended has a life away from their social media sites and rather than ignoring you, they are simply busy.
- No matter how commonplace communication by keyboard is these days, remember that we are not actually computers ourselves, we have feelings. When given the option of hurting someone via a screen as opposed to face to face, it’s only natural that we would want to choose the easier (former!) option BUT it is only fair to deliver bad news personally, just as we would prefer to have it delivered to ourselves.
- It is so easy to broadcast to the world whether or not your ‘single’ or ‘in a relationship’ – just a quick click and your boxed off. This isn’t an excuse however to update your status on a whim. Always communicate with the other person to check if their happy to actually announce the relationship yet or, if your breaking up make sure the deed is done in person before telling the world and his wife your now ‘single’.
- Contrary to many a film/game out there, we’re not Avatars and we cannot live soley in a virtual world! As great as the flirting/chatting/texting is online, it is no substitute for a real cuddle/snog! Mae sure you dedicate enough time to getting away from your technology and spend some real time together.
- Try to refrain from detailing every stage of your relationship on social media. Not everyone wants their face and movements slapped all over Facebook and especially in the early days of a relationship might feel overwhelmed and a little claustrophobic! There is nothing wrong with quietly pursing our relationship without it being under the gaze of your friends and family.
- Don’t make posts too personal. Just as you wouldn’t call all your friends and family to detail every thought or feeling you’re having about your partner, neither should you document them on Facebook. It’s likely neither party would be too keen on the constant broadcasts!
- When it’s over it’s over. Just as you would delete their number from you mobile phone book, so you should remove them from your friend list on Facebook, along with any associated pics and posts. Make it a clean break.