They do what they want, when they want
We all need an identity outside of our relationships, but if your spouse is constantly going out with their friends or staying late at work without checking in with you, they’re taking you for granted. Your partner may be wrapped up in their own little world, doing whatever they want, whenever they want – knowing that you’ll still be there for them.
They leave you to take care of the house
Your partner may expect you to do to all of the housework, never lifting a finger around your home. You may have started doing their share of household chores as a favor, which has now slowly become the expectation. Relationships are a joint effort, and an unbalanced workload can lead to trouble further down the road.
They never ask for your opinion
If your boo fails to seek out your opinion, it shows that they no longer view you as someone of importance. Your partner may think that they’re intellectually superior, leading to them making important life decisions solo. If your other half truly valued your presence in their life, they’d actively want to hear your opinion – relying on your help when the going gets tough.
They never compliment you
At the start of your relationship, your partner may have barraged with you constant compliments, showing your value to them. As time has ticked by, these sweet nothings may be nothing more than a distant memory – no matter how much effort you put into your connection. If someone appreciated you, they’d let you know.
They don’t listen to you
An inattentive partner won’t listen to your thoughts, feelings, or ideas. Your spouse could zone out during your conversations, showing that they truly don’t care what you have to say. It’s a huge red flag that you’re being taken for granted, devaluing your overall position in their life.
They never include you
Forever being excluded from your spouse’s plans is a surefire sign that your partner views you as a side piece. If they haven’t introduced you to their family or friends, consistently making plans to see them without you, you’d likely be better off without them. You should be a priority, not an option.
They never show you gratitude
Your small acts of kindness may forever go unnoticed. Your partner could show you little to no gratitude for the actions you do for them – whether it’s making them lunch, picking them up from work, or buying them little gifts. An unthankful attitude shows that not only are they taking you for granted – they simply don’t value you.
There’s little intimacy in your relationship
Every relationship has its dry patches, but if your other half no longer wants intimacy, there’s clearly something wrong within your connection. Your partner could feel so overly secure in your relationship that they know you’d never leave them – leading them to making next to no effort to keep you happy.
They’re inconsiderate of your time
You’ve come to expect the worst
Them taking you for granted may have come to be the expectation, rather than the exception. If you’re constantly assuming the worst about your partner and believing that they’re going to prioritize themselves above you, you’re likely correct. If you never assume the best about your boo, you likely feel that way due to their past behavior.
They never surprise you with nice gestures
Once upon a time, your partner may have showered you with gifts, showing displays of affection in order to court you. Now that you’re together, those gifts and nice gestures are nothing more than a relic of the past. Now that they’ve got you in their arms, all effort has come to a screeching halt.
You initiate every conversation
Your partner may only communicate with you through a barrage of grunts and head nods, never actually taking the time to sit down and properly converse with you. Always having to start the conversation, forever asking about their day only to receive next to nothing in return is a sure way to destroy your self-confidence.
Dates are always on their terms
You’re still going on dates – that’s good, right? Well, it all depends. If the date nights are always on your partner’s terms, with them choosing the restaurant or activity every single time, while shooting down any suggestions that you propose then it’s a huge cause for concern.
You feel lonely
You should never feel alone in a relationship. Your other half is there to provide you with support, companionship, and intimacy. If, on a deeper emotional level, you’re forever feeling lonely, cast to the wayside by your spouse – clearly something is wrong. Your intuition never lies.
Your partner has checked out
Your partner talks about their future without mentioning you. They rarely go out of their way to speak to you, and when they do it’s nothing more than stilted small talk. You’re left feeling confused – what happened? If any of this resonates, it may feel like your partner has already broken up with you while still reaping the benefits that your presence brings.
They cheat on you
It goes without saying, really, that if your partner is cheating on you then they don’t value you in the slightest. Being unfaithful is the ultimate disrespect, proving that they not only take you for granted but they couldn’t give a damn about you or your mental welfare.
They talk down to you
Your partner is support to uplift you, not cut you down. If your spouse is always making snide comments – particularly in front of other people – that chip away at your self-esteem, what purpose is the relationship truly serving? They aren’t valuing you, that’s for sure.
You’re embarrassed about your relationship
Deep down, you know that you’re not being treated in the way that you deserve. If you’re hiding your partner from your friends and family, embarrassed at the way that they treat you – it may be time to reassess where this person sits in your life.
They emotionally manipulate you
Emotional manipulation is a form of abuse. Your partner could act as though everything that goes wrong is entirely your fault, even though you had no involvement in the issue. They may think that you exist to please them, claiming that you’re “lucky to have them”. There’s no excuse for this behavior and you deserve way better.
Romance is dead
Kisses on the cheek, holding hands, and soft whispers of affection are now nothing but a distant memory. Going from constantly being romanced to experiencing a cold, distant partner can be soul-destroying, leaving you confused about what you did wrong. The answer? Nothing, they’re just a narcissist.
They’re a massive hypocrite
One rule for you, another for them. Perhaps your partner gives you grief about always being on your phone, then proceeds to take work calls when you’re spending time together. Whatever the case may be, if your partner doesn’t live up to their own expectations – they’re taking you for a ride.
Your partner doesn’t care about your feelings
Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that doesn’t care about your feelings? All that will result in is wanting to rip your own hair out in frustration. If they don’t care about your thoughts, emotions, or views – move on, they’re only using you for their own gain.
They rely on you for everything
Of course you should support your partner. However, be wary that you’re not giving them too much of your time. If your spouse relies on you for every single thing, they may be using you. If you’re constantly organizing their life, cooking for them, managing their finances, and cleaning up after them, you’re more of an assistant than a spouse. Support goes both ways.
They come first – always
Relationships are about give and take. If you feel like you’re always compromising on your needs in order to satisfy theirs, there’s a clear unbalance. If your spouse valued you, they’d be willing to give up some of their requirements to put you first every now and then. If you’re forever putting them on a pedestal, they’re living cushty due to your suffering.
Their friends or family always come before you
If your partner always manages to make time for their friends and family, but never puts aside time for you, it’s a clear sign of where their priorities lie. Having a spouse who goes out with their pals every night of the week, leaving you home alone night after night, is a miserable existence. Don’t be left to question your worth.
They rarely speak to you or look at you in public
This one cuts deep. Vying for someone’s attention is a horrible feeling, leaving a pit in your stomach. Your spouse could be perfect behind closed doors, but when it comes to being around other people, they treat you like a stranger. If they exhibit this behavior, they’re simply keeping their options open – using you as a safety net while they pursue other romantic prospects.
Your partner expects you to help them out financially
There may be an unspoken expectation within your relationship that you pay for everything. When you go to dinner, they never pull out their card. You’re always buying them sweet, thoughtful gifts, but receive nothing in return. They ask to borrow money to hit up bars every single weekend. The list goes on. If these sound familiar, your partner may be taking you for granted.
They prioritize work over you
There’s nothing wrong with having a good work ethic. What is an issue, however, is when claims of “working late” become a regular excuse. Your spouse may use this lie as a way of creating distance between the two of you, instead of facing any deeper issues. It’s likely that they want all of the benefits of a relationship without getting too involved.
They act differently around their friends
Your other half may revert back to their teenage self when they’re around their buddies, acting immature and selfish. They may cast you aside, ignoring you as they indulge in childish behavior. If this is the case – how can you know who they truly are? Your boo could be putting on a front when they’re around you, hiding their true intentions.
You can’t even get a text back
When you text your partner, you may be met with nothing but silence. When you confront them about it, they claim that they were busy or that they forgot. While we don’t all need to be glued to our phones 24/7, if your partner is always scrolling through social media but can’t spare a moment to reply to your text – there’s clearly an issue.
They’re short and snappy with you
Getting angry quickly, lacking patience, and using sharp words are all negative traits in a person. If the one person you love most in the world uses acidic words against you, it shows that they have little regard for how you feel. They expect you to take their harsh words, but still act as a loving, stable support system.
They refuse to work on your relationship
If your spouse shows no willingness to improve, your relationship will eventually hit a dead-end. Perhaps they’ve ignored your pleas to attend couples’ therapy, thinking that there’s nothing wrong with how they’ve been acting, claiming that you’re just being dramatic. You’re not – they’re just incredibly selfish.
They don’t care about losing you
Being secure in a relationship is a wonderful, healthy thing. Being overly confident, however, is another ballgame altogether. If your spouse doesn’t fear you walking away, knowing that you’ll put up with whatever lousy behavior they throw your way – they’re treating you like a joke.
Your partner never apologizes
Your partner might just straight-up refuse to apologize, even when they’re clearly in the wrong. Led by their ego, apologizing may be too tough of a pill to swallow, worrying that if they admit their wrongdoing they’ll seem small or weak. The truth is, the inability to say sorry portrays a small-minded, immature worldview.
They ignore or forget important dates
Ignoring your birthday, forgetting your anniversary, or skipping Valentine’s Day are pretty big red flags in any relationship. What’s even worse is when you put in heap loads of effort to celebrate events that are important to them, but you get little or nothing in return.
They don’t want to define your relationship
Keeping you as a sidepiece or a hookup, refusing to delve deeper and put a label on your relationship is a pretty terrible way to treat someone – particularly if feelings are involved. If they claim they’re “not ready” and that they “need more time” then ditch them. They’re just stringing you along.
They use guilt as a weapon
Throwing past actions back in your face is emotionally manipulative, showing vindictive tendencies that are only self-serving. Coercing you to obeying them through the means of guilt is a habit that’s unlikely to change over time, and shows that they only care about themselves.
You’re used to being forgotten
Becoming used to being forgotten in a relationship is a place nobody wants to find themselves. You may feel like you’re emotionally single, used to taking care of your own needs. Rather than pouring into their cup, desperately hoping that they’ll change – focus on yourself. They’ll soon wisen up when they realize they can no longer use you.
They’re inconsistent
One minute, they might be the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend. The next, they could be a living nightmare – forever leaving you to wonder where you stand. This emotional rollercoaster can be hard to handle – but your spouse may not care, knowing you’ll put up with their erratic ways regardless of how they treat you.
No matter what you do, it’s never enough
Months have gone by – perhaps even years – of you putting in more than enough effort, only for little change to occur. It may feel like whatever you do isn’t good enough and you’ll never be able to satisfy your partner. If this is the case, they’ve created these unrealistic expectations purposefully, dangling you along to fulfill their selfish whims.