This article originally appeared on gosocial.co
All your conversations are surface-level
There’s nothing wrong with having connections where talking about the weather or a shared hobby is the norm, but romantic relationships should go a little deeper than that. If you aren’t able to share your emotions or be vulnerable with one another, then maybe one or both of you aren’t comfortable with each other.
If you are not able to find that level of comfort and allow yourself to be vulnerable, a romantic relationship is not going to work out.
You share every moment on social media
If you start out your relationship sharing every moment of your relationship on Instagram, Facebook, or wherever else, you will always have people watching. Every date and every problem will be up for friends and followers to analyse for themselves.
No one needs to know about your arguments, and having other people’s input on your relationship can cause strain between the two of you! There’s nothing wrong with sharing an occasional cute couples pic, but sharing every date makes it seem like you have to prove your relationship is a good one.
You’re overly critical of one another from the start
If you start out criticizing each other for any and all things, it’s unlikely to get any better from there. Constructive criticism can be OK, but intending to make the other person feel bad never is. This criticism can come from feeling a sense of competition from your partner, resulting in you tearing each other down instead of building each other up.
A relationship shouldn’t be a competition, though. If you start out that way, there’s probably no coming back from it.
You want to change things about your partner immediately
If you start a relationship and you already want to change what your partner is like, chances are you don’t actually like them for who they are. The start of a relationship is generally full of gushing about all the things you like about your new partner, not finding things you think should be different.
If you try to mould your real life partner to fit an ideal you have, they’re not the person for you, and the same goes if they try to change you!
Spending time together feels like an obligation
If you feel relieved to not be around your partner, especially at the start of your relationship, that is a bad sign! A romantic partner should be someone you actively like and enjoy being around, or you’re going to end up sick of each other pretty soon.
While it’s nice to have a person to relax with, your other half should not be the person you ask to hang out with just because you’re bored or don’t know who else to contact, but because you want to be with them!
You lack affection
Saying “I love you” should not feel like something you’re obligated to say, and sharing kind and loving words should be something you want to do with one another on the regular.
Sure, if your relationship is new you might still be getting used to that, but if one party in the relationship is withholding that verbal affection, chances are they just aren’t feeling it. You can’t force yourself to feel differently about someone, but forgetting to show you do care sets a relationship up to fail.
Your values don’t line up
It is healthy for couples to have different interests, and even different opinions. You don’t have to share the same favourite films and sleep schedules, but if your base morals and values are too different, chances are the relationship won’t work out.
If you are on total opposite ends of the political spectrum, or have very different plans about saving and spending money, you may end up arguing a lot and being unhappy with the relationship you’ve built.
If you want to build a life together, your values regarding things like morals and money will end up mattering more than you might anticipate.
The little things get on your nerves
If every little quirk your partner has drives you up the wall, that doesn’t bode well for your relationship. Sure, we all get annoyed at each other from time to time, but if your partner’s way of doing everyday things like eating or reading gets to you, then there is probably something deeper going on.
This could be due to other issues the two of you have in your compatibility. It’s important to evaluate this so you can figure out if you can save the relationship, because being constantly irritated by someone you should love is unpleasant for both parties.
You have no sex life
For many couples, sexual tension and an active sex life are important in maintaining a strong bond. If lack of a sex life is down to one or both of you having no sex drive or sexual attraction to anyone universally, this may be different.
However, if you experience sexual attraction but are struggling to make that connection with a new partner, the two of you might not be a great fit. If sex just feels like a chore from the start, that’s probably not the relationship for you.
One of you acts disinterested from the beginning
Playing hard to get is exactly that: playing. If you’re looking for long-term love, games should not be a part of that. If one of the people in your relationship is treating your romance like some sort of strategy, pretending not to care too much, look elsewhere!
It is not worth trying to gain the active attention of someone who is deliberately withholding it. This is also a sign of emotional immaturity, which is not something anyone should look for in a long-term partner!