Ever find yourself arguing with your microwave or considering your houseplants your best friends? Fear not, fellow lone wolves, for there are signs, quirks, and hilarious indicators that solitude is your natural habitat. Grab a comfy chair, a snack (preferably eaten alone), and let’s dive into the world of loner destiny.
You’re happy going to the cinema alone
Look, there’s nothing wrong with liking to go to cinema solo sometimes – but if you enjoy it more than going with other people, you might just be destined to be alone forever. the extra appeal of going to a movie alone is that it’ll be dark and a room full of people won’t even talk to you or bother you once the film starts. That’s your idea of heaven.
You’re happy when someone cancels plans
It’s not anti-social, you just enjoy your own company! That isn’t to say you wouldn’t have enjoyed it if you’d ended up socializing, but the news that somebody needs to cancel is great news to you because it now means you have more time to yourself instead of spending that time with others.
You prefer communicating online rather that in-person
If you have the choice to email, message or book something online instead of talking to an actual person, you’ll do it. You send messages to friends and family rather than phone calls, you order food online and you shop online instead of going in-store.
A night-in always sounds better than a night-out
That isn’t to say you don’t enjoy going out every once in a while, but for you, snuggling down at home on your own is some of your best time spent, because you enjoy your own company and enjoy just relaxing in your own home space.
If you do go out, you need time to recharge
You definitely enjoy going out and socializing, but you need to be very choosy about when you do it, and with whom. And after a big night that’s required a lot of social energy, you definitely need some time alone to recuperate and not speak to anybody!
Spending time with your pet counts as socializing
A lot of loners and people who like to stay in are also likely to have a furry best friend. This means that, even though you enjoy time alone, your pet counts as time spent socializing because you feel like they ‘get you’ and you can be comfortable around them without spending energy in the same way you would socially.
You’d rather use Tinder to date than going to a bar
Online dating has been a game changer for the dating world, but for loners, it’s a lifesaver! It means that you can enjoy online dating and meeting people through the medium of tech, meaning you can swap out heels for sweatpants and a bar for your own couch.
You hate group projects at work
Some people thrive within a group setting, bouncing off other people’s ideas and having a great time socializing. Whereas, with you, it makes you break out in a cold sweat. Just the words ‘group project’ can have you feeling on edge, and you’ll take working alone and independently any day.
When you are in a relationship, you need alone time
People who are loners can have very fulfilling romantic relationships and want to spend time with their significant others, but also need time alone, too. This can make balancing relationships difficult, as you don’t want to offend someone by explaining you need time away from them, too!
You’re happy to eat out alone
Eating out alone just means that you can still enjoy going out every now and again and not having to cook, but it also means you can take your favorite book and not have to worry about spending energy engaging in conversation with someone while you’re trying to eat.
You’ll grab a drink by yourself, too
The same way you can comfortably sit at a restaurant table with a book, you can grab a drink alone, too. Whether you’re armed with the same book, or just happy to people-watch while you enjoy your favorite drink, drinking alone doesn’t mean anything to you.
Your phone ringing is nightmare fuel
If someone is ringing you instead of texting you, it’s a no-go. Simple as that. You have to ignore the phone ringing and wait for it to stop, then, going into a state of panic about who it could be, you eagerly await that voicemail, or even better, a text explaining why they called.
You prefer to keep updated via social media
Preferring your own company and not being too social doesn’t mean that you don’t care about what’s happening with others. It just means you prefer to see updates and converse through social media posts, separated by a screen and from the comfort of your home (alone, preferably!).
You love sleeping alone
One of the best things about being a loner is having the bed to all to yourself and getting a good night’s sleep without being disturbed by somebody’s snoring or hogging the sheets. While you can still get this with a double or king-sized bed all to yourself, you might even have a single bed just to emphasize the fact that nobody else would be able to fit in anyway. Shame.
Drinks after work? No thanks
You’ve literally seen these people all day – why would you want to go out for drinks with them too? You social batter is totally drained after a day at work, so this is a literal nightmare for you. You don’t have anymore energy to give for that, so after work drinks isn’t a time to relax – it’s a time to stress about even the thought of it!
You pick out outfits carefully
When you’re picking out new clothes, you’re thinking about what you like, sure, but you’re also thinking about what would make you stand out the least in a crowd. The last thing you want is to draw attention to yourself through neon colors or eye-catching fashion.
A solo vacation is the best kind
The idea of a solo vacation can be scary for many people, but for you, it’s perfection. Not only do you not have to worry about anyone else, you can plan your whole vacation yourself, do whatever you want on your own schedule and just spend time with yourself. That’s heaven.
One or two good friends is enough for you
You’re not someone who wants a whole group of friends, and neither do you have the energy or time to deal with a massive friend group. For you, a couple of very close friends is all you need – and is more than enough. As they say, three’s a crowd!
Group fitness classes? No way
You’d much rather workout in your living room and go it solo for exercise than physically go to a group fitness class where there are other people. The risk of someone talking to you while you’re busting a sweat, or worse, inviting you out to get to know you is just something you’re not interested in.
You need to know about plans very far in advance
Last minute spontaneous plans just do not work for you. If you don’t know when you’re going to be doing something in advance, it doesn’t give you time to prepare yourself or know whether you’re gonna have some alone-time, and you hate that.
Your headphones are like lifelines
Your headphones are something which just have to be in/on your ears, no matter where you go. And you might not even switch them on to listen to music, you just pretend you are, if it means strangers won’t come up to you and bother you. Walking down the street, shopping or working… your headphones are on.
You love driving alone
Road trips with a bunch of people in the car while you drive might just be a cause of stress for you. Alternatively, driving alone, where no one is talking to you and you’re not bothered by your phone, is actually a relaxing experience for you.
Meaningless small talk is a big no-go
Having to engage in general chit-chat like the weather and how your day has been, just fills you with a sense of dread. You know it’s the polite thing to do, but you’d much rather just not have to deal with it and stay quiet!
Working from home is the best-case scenario
It’s not the work that bothers you, it’s the environment. Your daily stress might be heightened with co-workers trying to talk to you or talk about the office Christmas party. Instead, working from home is probably your idea of peace and quiet.
When you do end up socializing, you give a lot
Because you don’t spend a lot of time throughout the day socializing or talking to people, you make up for that in your deep conversations with close friends or family members when you do set up time with them. You love talking loads when you actually want to!
You’re a self-starter
You don’t want or need to depend on other people to get things done. You’re very independent and capable of making things happen, whether that’s your own goals at work, like a promotion, or your personal goals, like paying off that big trip that you’ve always wanted to take.
Being the center of attention? No way
Being the focus of everyone’s attention has never been your bag – in fact, it makes you recoil just at the thought of it. You definitely never want to be the center of attention, and this applies to both social circles and work positions.
You base your entire routine around avoiding peak hours
Going places during peak hours, no matter what it is, whether it’s the gym or the grocery store, only makes it more likely that you’ll panic because of all the people, and maybe even bump into someone you know. So, your whole routine is the either going to these places crazily early in the morning, or crazily late at night.
You’re a brave person
At the end of the day, it’s a very brave thing to go out alone, solo travel, eat at a restaurant alone or not be worried about saying no to social norms and occasions. It takes courage to be a loner because there’s a lot you have to depend on yourself for – even if it comes naturally to you, it’s still brave!
You value your time
A lot of loners will spend the majority of their time alone because they value it. Their alone time is some of the most important, and they’ll value every second of it. They will also try and make the most of the alone time they have, and they don’t need to depend on other people to make that happen.
You don’t put up with fake people
Fake behavior is very time-consuming. And, as mentioned, loners value their time too much – so any sort of fake behavior that wastes their time is going to be a no-no. Loners make sure to remove themselves from time-wasting situations, and don’t have the patience for being fake.
You’re very self-aware
People who are more extroverted and don’t do very well being alone are more likely to struggle with their own internal monologue. Being alone with your thoughts can be daunting for someone who isn’t happy in their own company, so for loners, being self-aware is a huge trait because it means you happily embrace your own thoughts and feelings.
You’re your own best friend
Because you know yourself better than anyone, you’re perfectly happy hanging out with yourself. You know the person you understand and love the most is yourself. This doesn’t mean you’re selfish or arrogant, it just means you show yourself kindness and love spending time in your own company.
You easily work through negative emotions
Some people who aren’t loners find it very difficult to work through negative thoughts and feelings, which is why it can push them to surround themselves with people so they don’t have to think about it. But, loners who know themselves inside out can better handle negative emotions and work through them on their own.
You’re level-headed
You’re very good at handling difficult situations with a level head. Your focus and willpower often comes from spending a lot of time independently and learning how to control your own emotions and understanding yourself better. A level head can come from a lot of alone-time spent reflecting on things.
You always set boundaries
Because loners understand themselves completely, they know what they want, what they don’t want and what time they’re willing to give. This means setting strong and healthy boundaries so that they can always make sure their time is spent well and that no one is overstepping their relationship.
You follow your intuition
Intuition is so important, and loners are more likely to be attuned to their own gut instinct, as well as being able to follow their own intuition more easily. This comes from time spent alone learning more about themselves and how to understand their own emotions. This can also help you when making tough decisions.
You’re never codependent
Not only do you never depend on anyone else for anything, you also never feel as though you want to or have to. This also counts if you are in a relationship – you still don’t feel the need to be codependent with your partner, or have that kind of relationship. You definitely don’t need to depend on others for things like validation, either.
You have a whole lot of empathy
Being a loner doesn’t mean you feel nothing for others. In fact, you can feel everything, maybe a little too much. You might be an empath, or just show extreme empathy to both loved ones and strangers. You feel more deeply for other people you’ve spent time attuning to your own thoughts and feelings to.
You’re a loyal person
Another misconception about loners is that they can be people without friends and aren’t interested in the company of others. But loners can still have friends, who they’re 100% loyal to. In fact, a loner is more likely to have a few friendships that mean the world to them, rather than being friends with a whole bunch of people they barely see.