They’re possessive of their phone
It’s pretty normal for people to like their privacy when it comes to their phone, but if your partner has suddenly gotten significantly more secretive about what’s on their device, stay vigilant. It could mean they’re hiding something, or someone, they don’t want you to find out about. Phone messages are a frequent way for cheaters to communicate with the other people they’re seeing since it’s a personal device.
Their regular schedule suddenly changed
Let’s say your partner is usually out of the house for work from 8AM until 6PM from Monday to Friday. Recently, though, they’ve been getting home closer to 8PM and have “work things” on Sundays that they never had before. If your partner’s schedule has changed to the extent that you notice it, and made its change pretty suddenly, it’s worth asking a few more questions, since this can be a key sign of cheating.
They’re hard to contact
A cheater is not going to be pulling their phone out to talk to you when they’re spending time with someone else they’re seeing. This means they probably won’t reply to you for some stretches of time. If you’re finding it hard to contact your partner, particularly if this has changed from how it used to be, it could be because they’re cheating on you.
They’re putting more effort into themselves
We all relax on our appearance after being in a relationship for a while, and it can be fun to put a bit more effort in again occasionally. However, if your partner has started putting more effort into their appearance, especially if this includes their smell through cologne or perfume, this could be a sign of cheating. If they’re putting effort in for a special event, there is no need to worry, but if it has become a regular thing like just when they’re going to work, be on the lookout.
Your intimate relations have changed drastically
This could happen in several different ways. You might be having spending less time in the bedroom because your partner is getting it elsewhere. However, you might also be in there a lot more than you used to. This can happen if your partner sleeping with someone else has reawakened their appetite. You might also suddenly be having very different kinds of intimate relations, perhaps exploring kinks your partner never brought up before. This could be them discovering new desires through a new partner. If things have been switching up lately, it could be a sign your partner is unfaithful.
Their explanations don’t line up
If your partner is messing around with someone, they’re probably lying to you in order to do so. Lying gets really complicated really quickly which means they’ll likely end up making mistakes with their lies that don’t quite line up. If one time they say they were at a big meeting and they get back telling you how dinner went on really long, then that is reason enough to be sceptical of them.
Their friends are uneasy around you
When someone is cheating, it’s possible that their friends are much more aware of the situation than you are. Often someone’s friends won’t know whether to tell their pal’s partner that they’re cheating or not. The result of this will often be your significant others’ friends acting really shifty around you. If this is happening, they could be cheating on you.
They’re liking sexy pics
Every relationship has different rules but one that is common is not liking provocative pictures on social media uploaded by other people. If this was a rule your boo used to stick to, but they’re now liking swimwear and revealing clothing pics of other people on Instagram, be cautious. It could be because they no longer feel as loyal to you due to cheating or planning to cheat.
Sudden money problems
Cheating can often lead to money issues in many different ways. Maybe the stopped planning for big joint purchases between the two of you because they’re not planning a future with you anymore but failed to tell you this. Perhaps you have a joint account and you notice money coming out of it, expenditure that doesn’t line up with what you though the two of you were doing. If money starts becoming more of an issue, it can be worth questioning why this is.
They accuse you of cheating
One way cheaters tend to deal with their guilty conscience is to accuse their partner of cheating before they can get caught for it themselves. If your partner has gotten super suspicious of you or accused you of being unfaithful lately when you know you haven’t changed anything, you should be suspicious of them in return. They’re probably trying to dissuade their own guilt.
They stop using shared devices
Maybe you have a shared desktop or iPad at home. If so and your other half has suddenly stopped using these digital devices, it could be because what they’re spending their time online doing is something they don’t want you to see. If it seems unusual for them to have stopped using shared devices, it probably is! It’s certainly a sign that something’s going on.
They’re hyper critical of you
When someone is cheating, they may try to justify it to themselves by trying to find as many things wrong with you as possible. If they start to make themselves believe you’re not a good person, then cheating on you feels more reasonable for them. If your partner is criticising you for things that never seemed to bother them before, there’s a chance this could be a sign of infidelity.
They stopped sharing their daily rundown
After a long day, many couples will share what they did with their day just to stay up to date with what each of them are doing. You might be trying to continue doing this with your significant other but they are holding back and not wanting to share what they did each day. This could be because they’re hiding parts of their day from you that they know you wouldn’t be happy about.
They’re giving you lots of gifts
Getting gifts from your partner is absolutely lovely… if the reason they’re giving them to you is a good one. If someone is cheating, it is fairly common for them to have a guilty conscience about their actions. This can lead to them giving you gifts, treating you to things to compensate for this. If their gift-giving has increased a large amount recently, it could be a sign of cheating.
They get defensive very quickly
No other reason will be as telling as this one. If you pluck up the courage to ask about the way their habits have changed and your other half tries to scoot around the topic or gets overly defensive about their actions, that is a clear way of knowing that they have been unfaithful, or have at least deceived you in some way.
They spend less time with you
If someone is cheating, they have to make time for it. They’ll be spending time with the person they’re cheating with, and will subsequently have less time for you. If your partner used to spend significantly more time with you, and you can now barely grab a proper moment together, it could be because they’re cheating on you.
They’re acting weird about phone calls
Changes in digital use are key signs of unfaithfulness in our digital age. If you notice your partner not accepting calls when you’re together when this is uncharacteristic, be wary. Furthermore, if your partner sneaks off to take calls and wraps them up really quickly if you appear, they could be talking to someone they know you don’t want them to.
Their feelings seem to have faded
If you’ve been together a while, it’s normal for a relationship to feel less intense than it was at the start. A romantic relationship should still hold a level of emotional intimacy and romance, though. If this seems to have faded recently, and your efforts to regain it have gotten you nowhere, it could be because your partner is now sharing this intimacy with someone else.
They keep asking about your schedule
No one should be expected to know your exact schedule perfectly but you and an effort to be aware of what you’re up to is a good sign from a partner. The issues arises when they are constantly askng about the exact times you will be home, at work, with friends, etc. If they are trying to keep a super close eye on what you’re doing it is likely because they’re trying to find out when they won’t get caught.
Your relationship issues disappear
This seems like a silly thing to complain about, but there’s a reason it should worry you. If you have had the same recurring issues throughout your relationship that have suddenly ceased to exist, there is probably more to it than you both making fundamental changes to your views. These issues disappearing can be a sign that your partner has given up on your relationship and is looking elsewhere, or looking for a way out.
They clear history on shared devices
Maybe your partner has not stopped using your shared desktop at home. However, whenever they’re done with it, the browser history has been cleared. If they are trying to hide something from you like that, then it is fairly likely that they’re cheating.
They fail to mention their plans until afterwards
Lies of omission are still lies, especially if it’s to someone you’re romantically engaged with. If you find out the day after that your partner was on a night out that they just “forgot to mention”, it could be that it was just a boring drink with colleagues. If this happens multiple times, you have reason to be worried.
Their underwear has changed
Putting effort into your outward appearance is one thing, but putting effort into your undergarments is quite another. No one but you is going to see those anyway, right? Well, if they are suddenly wearing much fancier or more “desirable” undergarments but not using them to help woo you, they are quite possibly using them to appease someone else.
They tell you too much
If you ask about a work event they told you about and they give an exact play-by-play of the whole evening, they’re probably lying. Liars have a tendency to not know when to stop talking. Rattling off loads of information like that probably comes with some dishonesty.
Their tastes and interests have changed
If your partner is suddenly interested in things they previously didn’t care about at all, this could be another sign. If your partner never cared much about healthy or environmentally conscious food but is now taking an extreme interest in foraging, question where this new interest came from. It is common for cheaters to pick up new interests from the person they’re cheating with, due to their likely infatuation.
They start using cash for a lot of purchases
Card payments show up in bank statements and can be traced easily. Getting cash from an ATM means that no one else will know where they are spending their money. If your partner has switched to using cash increasingly frequently, they might be trying to hide their outgoings from you.
They’re angry or nervous at home
If your partner is always irritable and showing nervous body language around the house, particularly around you, then it could be due to a guilty conscience. When we know we have done something wrong, our bodies can sometimes take over and react with negative emotions both physically and mentally. If you have given your partner no reason to be angry or nervous and they consistently behave that way without outside influence, be cautious of what is making them behave this way.
They ask what you’d do if they cheated
If they are cheating, they will speculate on their dishonesty frequently. This can lead to your partner getting so curious or nervous about you finding out that they go so far as to ask what you would do in that given situation. This thought probably came from somewhere. If they have the guts to ask this, it will probably be founded on something deeper.
They question what counts as cheating
Let’s say your partner is going out of their way to state that certain behaviours or actions really don’t count as cheating. This might be an easy one to figure out, but if they feel the need to say these things, then chances are they are partaking in actions that they know other people would probably see as cheating.
You just have a gut feeling
Maybe your partner does some of the things on this list. Maybe not. If you just have a gut feeling that they are cheating, it probably isn’t unfounded. Even if you’ve noticed things subconsciously, you’ve noticed enough to make you believe that they are cheating on you. Interrogate that feeling further, because you might be right.
They’re lying about other things
Lying gets tricky pretty quickly. If you catch your partner lying about other things, even things unrelated to cheating entirely, they’re probably lying about other things too. There’s a reason any kind of lying breaks trust: people often can’t stop once they start. If your partner is comfortable lying to you about innocuous things, they could be lying about their fidelity too.
They’re gaslighting you
If you have seen evidence of things that could signify cheating, a partner might bluntly deny it, acting like it never happened to make you question your reality. If your partner is making you feel like you’re crazy by claiming things you’re certain happened never did, they might be cheating on you. Their logic is that if you can’t rely on your memory, then how could you know what they’re doing?
Their car has changed
Someone’s car might seem like a random thing about them, but it can say a lot. If it’s usually you in the passenger seat, has it been adjusted? Moved back for more legroom? Someone is also more likely to leave a stray hairband or lipstick in a car than in a bedroom, as well. Since people are usually in a car to go somewhere else, it’s easy to get forgetful there.
You started out as an affair
If your relationship started with your partner cheating on their ex with you, there is a strong likelihood of them cheating again. Usually cheaters don’t cheat because of anything their partner has done, but because they are cheaters. If your partner has cheated before, there’s nothing but their word to say that they won’t do it again.
Their vocabulary has changed
Is your partner incorporating words and phrases you’ve never heard them say before into their day-to-day speech? It’s worth questioning where they’re picking these up from. If you know they have a new group of friends, then nothing suspicious has occurred, but if not, they might have a secret connection. New vocabulary comes from people we spend a lot of time with, so if there’s someone new they’re spending a lot of time with that you don’t know about, you have reason to worry.
They can’t remember what they’ve told you
We all have those life stories we tell our romantic partners and no one else, whether they’re embarrassing or just because we see our partners the most. If your other half can’t remember which ones you’ve heard before, or is repeating them to you unawares, they might have another fling on the go that they’re also sharing these tales with.
They’re not sharing their problems
Confiding in your significant other is part of being committed to one another. You go through emotional struggles and your partner is there to listen and support you. If this sharing stops altogether after it being a regular part of your partnership, they might be sharing all of this with someone else instead. Although this might not be a sign of sleeping with someone else, emotional cheating exists too!
Cheating is standard in their family
Some families are used to hearing stories of cheating and people from certain backgrounds even expect it. If cheating was a frequent occurrence in your partner’s family, they might have adopted the same attitude. You should be especially wary if they haven’t spoken against their family’s behaviour.
They’re defensive about their friendships
Your partner should be allowed to be friends with whoever they want. This is not an issue until they have certain friends of the gender they’re attracted to whom they feel extra comfortable with, in ways they don’t with other close friends. If your partner is getting defensive about people they’re “just friends” with when you bring up concerns, there’s probably something slightly insidious going on.
They avoid setting relationship rules
Cheating is constituted by breaking the rules of a relationship through infidelity. If two partners have agreed that you can each kiss other people so long as you tell your partner, then that wouldn’t be cheating. If your partner is avoiding setting terms and boundaries for the relationship you’re in, it’s likely because they want the excuse of something not “technically” constituting cheating.
They’re leaving you out
It’s fine for them to do things without you. In fact, having strong friendships outside your romantic relationship is healthy. But if your partner is doing all the fun activities with their friends and not saving anything exciting for date night, it’s a sign that those friendly activities might be a little more than that. Careful out there!
They stop talking about you
If your partner is committed to you, you will come up in their conversations with other people. If they stop mentioning you, even casually, it’s a sign that they’re trying to forget they’re in a relationship when hanging out with other people. This means their intentions are far from pristine, and they are probably looking to cheat.
They’re more insecure
When someone is cheating, they feel guilty. This is expressed in a number of ways, but sometimes that guilt comes out as insecurity. If your partner is worrying more and more that you might leave them, there’s probably a reason they’ve been thinking that. Insecure people also often seek more validation, and some people get that validation through cheating.
They’re asking for more effort
If your partner is asking for you to put in more effort, they’re probably starting to feel like you don’t care about them enough. It’s important to keep dating your partner once you’re in a committed relationship. Couples that don’t do this are more likely to end up with one partner cheating on the other. If you’re not taking these hints and putting the effort in to spice things up, your partner might be wanting to look elsewhere.
They’re avoiding planning
Depending on the stage your relationship is in, you might be trying to plan for a future together. If your partner is avoiding making plans that are more than a week away, it’s because they don’t plan to be there. People who are cheating are often looking for a way out of a relationship, and avoiding making plans is another sign of that.
They don’t include you in their plans
If your partner is talking about the future saying “I” instead of “we”, they are not planning on making you a part of those plans. If you are not a part of their future plans when they talk like that, they probably don’t plan on staying together. This is often due to their desire to be with someone else, or due to their guilt of already cheating on you.
They hate when you’re nice to them
Did you plan a cute date out at their favourite gallery? Or bring them flowers? In this case, they would respond by feeling guilty and insisting that you shouldn’t have done the thing in question. People who are cheating feel guilty so the meaner you are, the more they can justify their actions. If you are nice to a cheater, they will feel terrible because they are unable to justify acting badly to someone sweet and kind.
They’re staring at you a lot
People who are cheating or considering it tend to spend more time looking at their partner when they are together. This is not out of love, but because they are analysing you, measuring you up to other people to see how you compare. If the stares you’re getting aren’t pure adoration, be on the cautious side.
They stop mentioning a certain person
If your partner has a friend or co-worker that they used to talk about who has stopped coming up, be wary. That could be the person they’re cheating on you with. Cheaters tend to go out of their way to avoid mentioning the person they’re cheating on their partner with. This can come off as a lot less natural than they think, though.
They’re making assumptions about you
Is your partner snapping at you that they’re sick of things as they are? Are they assuming that you just won’t understand them, or that you’re unwilling to change anything to make them happier? This could be because they’re cheating. People who cheat do not try to solve issues occurring in their current relationship, which is part of the reason they go elsewhere to seek fulfilment. Some cheaters use cheating as an excuse to break up with their partners so they don’t have to deal with relationship hurdles.