Have you ever wondered why the best part of a relationship is the part before it becomes an actual relationship?
Before the butterflies fade as they tend to do, and before joint banking and arguing over sex becomes an everyday thing, there is this blissful phase in which couples adore each other without the heavy weight of expectations.
You know what I’m talking about. The beginning where you’ve been on enough dates not to be nervous but still feel like you can’t get enough of the person you’re with. There is no sarcasm, no passive aggressiveness and no feeling exhausted with effort that never seems to be enough. Instead, your heart skips a beat when you hear their ringtone and you catch yourself fantasizing about what your life might look like in the future.
What is it about the honeymoon phase that makes us so crazy in love? And why can’t people stay that way?
Because life isn’t a honeymoon. Life throws curveballs and pulls the most unexpected of tricks out of thin air. Life gets hectic, stressful and overwhelming at times and sharing those times with someone else can get messy. People start to point fingers, they get resentful and sometimes they decide to just walk away. In the beginning though, people are still putting their best foot forward. They aren’t unloading all of their stress onto someone else, but tucking it away and focusing on their date.
The best part of a relationship is the part where you can’t stop thinking about each other all day. You can’t make enough plans to hang out and no matter how hard you try, you can’t keep your hands off of each other. The world seems softer in a way, and happiness isn’t something that seems out of reach. The pieces just fit together in this exciting type of bliss that makes reality seem far away. Here is why.
You fall in love with the idea of someone.
When you first start dating there is a lot about each other that is still unknown territory. You haven’t seen each other mad or stressed out. You don’t get to see each other’s biggest flaws because you are trying so hard to keep everything perfect. You are both on your very best behavior. This tends to leave a lot of room for imagination. You can look across the room at your partner and still see them as unblemished, and in your experience thus far, they are. Unfortunately, those blemishes eventually come out and you are no longer dealing with the idea of someone, but a real person. In the beginning, you can basically be whoever you want to each other, the hard part though, is that over time you won’t be able to stay that person.
You are hit with the best emotions.
Whether you are an emotional person or not, you can’t escape the feeling of nervousness, excitement, or falling in love. These are some of the strongest emotions humans have, and they are such a blessing when we feel them. When you begin to fall in love it’s like you get this natural high that nothing else can ruin. It’s a rush of overwhelming happiness that seems to burst from the inside out. You just can’t contain it.
The relationship hasn’t been tainted yet.
It’s true. Life is raw and it’s ruthless at times. As humans, we make mistakes and most of the time those mistakes get projected onto our partners. You yell at each other, you over-analyze each other’s actions, you say horrible things that you don’t mean and you believe things that aren’t the truth. Not only do you worry about yourself, but now you are responsible for another person and that causes you to worry as well. It can be overtaking at times and people don’t always know how to handle it. So, they take it out on each other. In the beginning, you aren’t so sure the other person will forgive you for acting that way and most of the time life hasn’t reached a level that could deflate your puppy-love bliss.
You have all the “try” in the world.
There is something about wanting to impress someone that gives us all the try in the world. When you care more about their happiness there is no amount of effort that seems to be too much. You look forward to getting dressed up and wouldn’t be caught dead in sweatpants. Expensive dinners are of no concern and sex is something both of you try your hardest at. You want to please each other and are willing to do as much as you can to make that happen.
You haven’t been destroyed yet.
The best part of being with someone in the beginning is that they haven’t had the chance to hurt you yet. Your feelings are still their number one priority and life hasn’t put the both of you through enough to hurt one another. You want to save each other from hurt, not project anger and disappointment onto one another.