The Main Trait to Look For in a Mate

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We need to face facts. In the fist instance 99% of the time, the first thing that attracts us to someone is their looks.  Whether it be great eyes, nice hair, long legs or a muscly arms, it is easy to be drawn to someones looks.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying we are totally superficial – After this early attraction to physical attributes, we then move onto the more long term and important internal factors.  ?  Are we compatible? Do they have a good sense of humor Do they seem level headed and stable?

With all this said, we often manage to overlook the most important trait of all when trying to find the perfect partner… Their character

In my opinion, a persons character is the single most important factor when finding the perfect partner.  It is who they are. It is one of the things about them that will most likely never change.  Someone with good character is much more likely to be trustworthy and to put your best intentions to the front of their priorities; to be straightforward and honest.  It is in fact, impossible to have a successful long term relationship with someone who’s character your find yourself constantly questioning. 

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OK how do I determine their character?

Usually – and more specifically at the beginning of your budding romance,  – you need to be paying attention to the seemingly “little” things and not overlooking the obvious red flags.  It can be difficult but you need to look past the exterior and into the potentially-dark interior.  Of course – as with most relationship issues – this is often easier said than done.

This is my best break down of what “good character” looks like, and how to determine whether or not your partner has it. 

Integrity

Yes should mean yes and no should mean no. A persons word should be golden. They way they communicate with you should always be honest and they should never attempt to deceive you. They never forget important dates or things that matter to you. If they say they are going to do something, they do it. You will not find happiness with someone who says one thing and does another.

 

Strength

Although someone that regularly hits the gym and looks after their body is an attractive trait, it is inner strength that matters most.  People with inner strength are less likely to be led astray by others. They have backbone and stand up for what they believe.  They don’t give into outside pressure, simply to impress others.  They know who they are and act in a way that shows that.

Loyalty

Very few people will come right out and say, “I’m a good-for-nothing cheater.”  However, most of us have a fairly good intuition when it comes to determining if someone is trustworthy – so listen to it!  If you suspect he (or she) is playing you, chances are good they’re playing you.  And loyalty encompasses more than simply cheating.  It’s also about being true and honest with their friends, family, and business associates.

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Generosity

Although having someone that is not a total tight ass is always a plus. It is more important to have someone that doesn’t scrimp on emotional generosity too Like I say, they need to be able to give happily in the financial sense of the word, but you also need a partner who knows how to be generous with their hearts.

People of good character aren’t selfish and pleasing others is an important as pleasing themselves.  They realize the importance of quality time and making you a priorityHere’s a great test:  If they can’t give you the little things like a Saturday-night date, a movie ticket, or a meal, they won’t give you the big things like love, support, and friendship.

Self-control

Being impulsive is sometimes nice for things like date ideas or surprises. This is not what I refer to here however.  People with self-control aren’t impulsively driven to get what they want, right when they want it – regardless of the consequences.

Guys – do you want to spend a lifetime with an immature woman  who’s maxed out her credit cards thanks to a pesky Hello Kitty addiction?  Doubtful…  And

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Ladies – would you be keen on a ManBoy who pretends he’s Peter Pan and insists on partying like he’s still in college?  He might as well wear green tights…  Being responsible with their money, what they put in their bodies, and how they spend their time are critical.

So now that you’ve gotten some guidance on determining a person’s character, let’s put it into action.  Start off by analyzing your potential partners a bit more carefully.  Check out what’s going on inside of them before you fall for the outside.  Be discerning.  Anddon’t forget to exhibit good character yourself.  As they say, “Be the type of person you want to date.”