Boost the Bond with Your Partner
15 Questions to ask each other to strengthen your relationship
They say communication is the keystone to a successful relationship. There are several ways to open up the lines of communication with your partner every day. Whether it’s simple questions about his past or opening the conversation up to deeper topics, getting to know your partner’s goals, likes and dislikes will help you form a closer bond in the long run. And as things and people evolve, these kinds of communications need to be a regular fixture within a relationship.
Most problems in a relationship stem from a lack of effective communication. Whatever the area of concern, be it sex, money, children or work, if couples don’t talk about things then the relationship will inevitably start to break down.
We have to discuss what’s niggling us, open up about our hopes and dreams and share our intimate thoughts. The most successful and close relationships comprise proactive communication before an argument has even begun. As over formal as it may feel, meeting with your partner regularly to ask questions and make continual discoveries about each other will help protect your relationship from altercations and even better, it will create a new level of intimacy between you.
The RelationshipSurgery.com team has compiled its favourite questions intended to open those lines of communication.
1. How do we resolve our conflicts?
What do you see for us in the future – Obviously not a question for a first date but one that certainly needs raising once things start getting a little more serious. Guys rarely relish such a question but they need to be reminded there are no right or wrong answers. Whatever he says about how he sees your future as a couple will give you a better idea of what you can expect going forward – (together or not!)
2. What are you looking forward to today/this week/this month?
This helps to increase understanding between you both with regards what you enjoy doing and encourages you to appreciate what makes each other tick. You can talk about whether it’s things you do as a couple, or apart, and if the question draws a blank it opens up the opportunity to come up with things together.
3. How much time do you think we need to be spending together/apart?
This gives you an important insight as to how they see the balance of the relationship working and gives you a chance to voice your thoughts on the matter at the same time.
4. How affectionate would like us to be?
It’s a fact that some people are simply just uncomfortable with too much touchy-feely stuff and can positively squirm when confronted with attempts of PDA’s from a love-struck partner. It’s important both parties know what levels of affection are expected to maintain a loving and happy relationship.
5. What are your ambitions?
A handy question that a) at least establishes if they even have ambitions (after all, someone who is happy to just drift through life may not be the prospect you are looking to share a long term future with!) and b) enables you to help support them in fulfilling those ambitions.
6. Do you want children in the future?
Far too often this life changing question is avoided between couples and far too often couples have broken up relationships for this very reason. It needn’t be a heavy, serious conversation. A simple, light hearted query about kids when it naturally fits in a conversation will tell you a lot about the man you’ve chosen and your future compatibility.
7. How do you see our financial situation?
A crucial consideration for the future success of any relationship. Both parties needs to be aware of their other half’s ideas of how money should be spent, who should be earning, how joint social activities should be paid for etc.
8. Where are you unwilling to compromise?
Compromise is a key aspect in any relationship and both parties must be willing to compromise 99% of the time but it is helpful to understand what areas they
9. What would mean the end of our relationship?
In terms of establishing boundaries and establishing what would constitute an absolute no-no in the relationship, the answers to this question are definitely worth storing in the memory bank.
10. Do you feel as if you could tell me/talk to me about anything?
If the answer to this is no, then it’s a subject that certainly needs discussing. As the exercise of asking these questions in the first place suggests, a successful relationship is all about communication and both partners need to feel they can’t talk to each other about anything.
11. What do you think makes our relationship different to your previous ones?
Not an essential question but definitely one that will help bring some insight into what brought you together and what they believe makes you special.
12. Where do you see us on five years-time?
This is a good eye-opener as to how they see your relationship going without having to sound too heavy – after all, you’re only asking about five years-time as opposed to 20!
13. Is there anything you would like to ask me?
There might something lurking at the back of their mind that they are just dying to ask you but can’t seem to find the right moment. By you raising the question they will likely feel relieved to finally get it off their chest!
14. Would you change anything about yourself?
It’s only natural for us to find flaws and faults in ourselves, even if they are sometimes unfounded. By asking the question, you can then take the chance to reassure your partner you love regardless of any self-perceived flaws and you will feel closet because of it.
15. Would you change anything about me?
Not necessarily one you might want to know the answer to, but in the spirit of keeping things fair!