Hotels are supposed to be places where you can leave your worries behind. You can swim in the pool, eat delicious food you didn’t have to cook yourself and sink into clean sheets without having to worry about doing laundry the next day. Still, no matter how luxurious an image a hotel has, there are more than a few dirty secrets that have been swept under the bed. Courtesy of Reddit, here are the worst things hotel workers have even seen on the job.

1. Secret recipe

Our concierge was Les Clefs D’or. He had all the connections, like this dude could get you into the French Laundry the same day. He would often greet guests with sangria and sprigs of mint from his garden. He was a legend at my work, everyone knew him.

Sometimes he even had lemon slices from his tree too! He loved to tell guests all about his garden and they ate it up. Yeah…. unfortunately, that’s all bulls**t. Mint, lemon, and any other garnish was bought from the local grocery store, not his garden.

The sangria was the cheapest boxed stuff we could find. The guy just sold the story like no other, and it worked. Guests would come back again and again to see him and talk to him, and everything he said was total baloney, but nobody ever seemed to realise.


2. Puppy on the run

The best thing I saw while working at a hotel was the huge hotel dog escaping his pen. This huge fluffy creature made straight for the high-end restaurant and went completely hog wild, jumping on a few tables and scarfing $100 steaks like they were M&Ms.

He was a complete love when it came to greeting guests, but even though he was usually well behaved he sometimes just got too excited. I and another guy saw it, we worked during the ski day and cleaned up into the evening, so we were friends and laughed together.

So it was just him and me finishing up in our department when the dog escaped. We both saw he was going to get out of his cage and we could have stopped it but we just wanted to watch the world burn. It was my greatest day of work there by far, and so cute!


3. Cleaning transparency

My biggest tip is to never trust any glass in hotel rooms. Housekeepers are always stretched so thin that they will clean the glasses with the same rags they clean the bathroom with, after all their goal is to make the room look clean… not be clean.

So if you’ve ever gotten sick on holiday and blamed the water, you probably should have blamed the water glass, because it’s by far the grossest thing in your hotel room. The first thing I do when staying in a hotel is ring down to ask them to replace the water glass.

I worked as a housekeeper in a five diamond hotel for five years and there was a period of over a year that went by where we didn’t get a single clean glass delivery. We didn’t have dishwashers in the room, so management was complicit. This was in a five-diamond, one of the top resorts in the world. Never trust glass in hotel rooms.


4. Free parking

At a certain Beverly Hills hotel, where I valeted for a short amount of time, many cars belonging to pop or movie stars were just left there. The celebrities just come and get them whenever. There was also a code name for Justin Bieber since he visited so often.

Bieber picked the nickname himself, and his G-Wagon and a Bentley were kept down there free of charge. Usher also left his bike at the hotel a few years back and just never collected it. We eventually had to move the cars because the abandoned ones clogged up the car park.


5. Elevator smackdown

One hotel I worked at hosted a Christmas party for an investment firm and two guys started jockeying for the affections of a female coworker. They all wound up stuck in an elevator together and the two guys started fighting, right in front of the girl they liked.

the elevator went into safety lockdown, we had to call the PD and the FD. They both took an age to arrive. One guy left the premises in a squad car, one guy left in an ambulance, and we had to give the woman some clothes from lost & found because her dress was covered in blood.

Not only that, but the elevator was out of service for six hours to clean it up. There’s always a ton of back of house drama at every hotel too, especially among the executives and the junior managers. Affairs, backstabbing, a little light fraud. You know, the usual.


6. Do not disturb

I found while working in one of the higher-end hotels in my city that the really famous people don’t want attention at all. They don’t want room service, or staff hanging around. Even the welcoming group of the general manager and friends is a bit much.

In general, most celebrities would rather you just go away and let them be alone, and be treated like a normal guest. 9/10 times after checking them in, you would hear video games or a movie coming from their room. They just want their precious alone time.

It’s the D-list celebs who know damn well they’re not all that, and they demand attention from the staff anyway. They likely do it to prove to themselves that they are important, to soothe their egos. Whereas the truly important people do their best to blend in.


7. Topping up the bill

I worked at a five-star hotel in England as a bartender, hosting events and stuff. One thing that was common was my manager would just add extra drinks onto the bill at large events to make more money. It was a total racket, and completely blatant too.

It basically consisted of robbing the rich clients blind and hoping they were too drunk to realise what was being done. For example, if a big wedding ordered 50 bottles of champagne, they’d only give them 30 and would keep 20 back, hoping they wouldn’t notice.

If they ran out of the 30 bottles, they’d then have to buy more. I reported this to Senior management and they just laughed saying it’s normal. I actually got told off for not taking part in this, and it put me at a big disadvantage, but my coworkers saw no issue with it.


8. Acting like a rock star

One day I came into work and there was a big scramble on the upper floors, where the penthouse area was. It seemed like this known millionaire and repeat customer of ours had a little too much c*ke and was destroying his room, systematically, from top to bottom.

He was actually throwing furniture out the balcony, ripping everything out of the fridge, and he even tried to throw a mattress off the balcony. It was a big deal at the time but they kept it hush hush with no police involved. A guy that’s paying 9k-13k a night is not going to be arrested.

When the team finally got into the room, there was c***ine all over the tables, bottles everywhere, and a couple of high-class call girls that were completely inconsolable. The next day the room was cleaned up and sold to Jennifer Lopez, and she was none the wiser.


9. Sleepover at work

There was once a natural disaster that required staff to stay on-site with a whole floor reserved for themselves. Bathtubs were filled with ice and booze and managers were found wandering the back halls in their undies. Not only that, but the Michelin star chef and the general manager were caught on camera cheating on their partners in a stairwell on the same night.

10. Employee benefits

I previously worked in room service at a historic downtown hotel in a metropolitan city. During my time there, the general manager announced his retirement, leaving a vacuum, and the corporate overlords sent in an interim general manager from out of state.

Since he didn’t own a home in the state, they allowed him and his wife to stay in the hotel temporarily, under the impression that he would shortly take over the role and purchase a home. It seemed like a sensible solution to the problem, but it was a nightmare.

His wife was either retired or left her work for his opportunity, so she spent a lot of time in the hotel – mainly the bar. She would run up a large bill and stumble to bed several nights a week. On more than one occasion she was found by staff outside of their room.

She was butt naked and once topless headed toward the lobby. It became such a problem and embarrassment for the general manager that they moved into a house earlier than planned, and the company even helped them pay for a down payment to get them out of there.


11. Stationary secret codes

I used to work at the front desk of my hotel most of the time. We more or less create the first impression and it’s the one place everyone goes, from guests and scammers to robbers. If we were threatened or received a call of someone threatening us or the hotel, for example, we had to really subtlely let our coworkers know.

The signal for “help” at the front desk was dropping a stapler. For food and beverage, when harassed by a guest and in need of help, the go-to was dropping something like a glass or making noise by loudly apologising. Anything to stop the guest from knowing something was wrong.

The idea is to draw attention from other guests and employees so the behaviour will stop. It was considered rude and unprofessional to just tell a guest to stop harassing you for some reason, or to draw attention to the problem by actually asking for help.


12. Shifting stories

We went on lockdown once because a man walked into the lobby with a shotgun. There were also two loud bangs in the motorcade around the same time. We were sealed up tight for about 45 minutes and we had people escape into our area in hysterics before the doors to the lobby were locked.

But I never saw the actual person with the gun. One woman, in particular, was hyperventilating because he pointed the gun straight at her before walking away. Anyhow, we were told that we’d be fired if we talked to the media. By the time I finished counting my drawer the news was saying that an attempted bank robbery had spilt over into our motorcade before they drove away.

By the time I got home that story was gone from everywhere but a single news outlet who issued a correction stating that a car had backfired in the motorcade. We weren’t allowed to discuss it. It was kept as quiet as in-house celebrity gossip, I’ve no idea how they managed to change the narrative.


13. Minor fires

People often come back to the hotel, microwave things for too long or throw things on a stovetop and then fall asleep. Where I worked, there were probably three to four fires a week, usually between the hours of 7pm to 10pm, all because of the appliances.

The rooms in hotels are generally fireproof, as are the doors, so if people just open the exterior window but not the hallway door, it’ll air out fine and we won’t have to evacuate the building. So chances are you’ve probably slept through a hotel fire before without knowing.


14. The later the better

Checking in late at night sometimes means free upgrades or discounted upgrade rates. Where I worked, we would try to sell every last suite at night for almost 80% off, just so they wouldn’t stay empty. An empty room is a waste, so we’d always try to sell them all.

An empty room was way worse than a filled one, even if that meant giving away rooms for way less than rack rate, since most guests would spend money on food. Sometimes if we were oversold on rooms, the very late arrivals who showed up at midnight would get a free suite upgrade simply because we had no other choice.

Of course, this strategy would also backfire if the hotel was sold out. There’s also a risk of getting downgraded if you’re a very late arrival, since someone else might have paid to upgrade to your room. So there’s a gamble every time you arrive late or early.


15. Front desk snooping

There’s always a Sherlock Holmes-level investigation going on at the front desk, trying to figure out which one of the staff is stealing tips from everyone else. I’d set out marked $20s in one of the rooms, catch the baddie red-handed, and then promptly fire the thief.

Every time though, just two weeks later I’d have to play Scotland Yard again because someone new was stealing tips! It was an endless cycle that taught me a lot about human nature. There were no real bad guys, just people with motive and opportunity.


16. Don’t touch the remote

Your hotel room is much dirtier than you think, as almost every hotel is understaffed, and so corners inevitably end up getting cut. Chances are, your blanket hasn’t been changed in weeks, or maybe a certain part of the desk hasn’t been wiped down in a while.

More commonly, sometimes things like remotes or phones don’t get wiped down. It takes a lot of use for something to be noticeably dirty and if a housekeeper is overworked, it’s very easy for something to slip their mind. A lot of the time, they just don’t have enough time.

All the rush mean they don’t clean every room as deeply as you might like to think. If you’re at a five-star hotel, your room has definitely been cleaned, but sometimes it’s best to just play it safe. Don’t touch the glasses, wipe down the remote yourself, things like that.


17. Mountains out of molehills

I worked at a five-star hotel for a while. A prince showed up once in the middle of the night, and he wanted to party at the top of the mountain. We got the gondola running, got staff up to the bar and restaurants at the top, and gave him white-glove service the whole way through.

This all happened at the very last minute and on a whim of an ultra-rich person. I still have no clue how they got it all done so fast. They managed to put together a custom menu based on his specifications, cook everything, make sure the restaurant was newly cleaned. It was wild.


18. Office party gone bad

One year during the Christmas office party season, I was working the bar for a big company of builders, when I saw a barmaid run screaming out of another Christmas party. I asked what happened and she sobbed and refused to go back to serve that group.

The manager asked if I would swap, I entered the room and it was pretty wild. I nipped back out and said to the manager: “I am going to lock the doors to contain them, If I give the word that I am running out of booze get me more ASAP and don’t leave me hanging”.

The group held the least politically correct “awards ceremony” I had ever seen and I saw things I never expected to see at a work’s party including sex acts and drinking games involving sex acts. They pretty much drank the hotel dry and I was given a massive tip.

The following year the same group booked and specifically requested that I ran the bar. It was great, I got great tips again, but I was so exhausted that I basically slept through my two days off. Sometimes the most extreme customers are the most rewarding.

19. Watch your luggage

The valet will take your premium sports car on a hot lap of the city if it’s nice. As a general rule, the staff don’t deal with problems, we just throw free s**t at screaming guests until they shut up, thus reinforcing the bad behaviour in them permanently.

With that said, it’s not always bed bugs that are causing your itchiness, you’ve just had a reaction to the industrial detergent used to wash the sheets. Bed bugs are pr**ks though. Torch your luggage if it is actually them, but try not to panic since it could just be a rash.


20. Charge their card

Once, when I did my routine check-up around the hotel late at night I registered that someone was in the bar, which was supposed to be closed that late. Apparently, some guys broke the lock of the fridge with the expensive champagne and popped some bottles.

The cheapest bottle was like 150€. I approached them and asked what the f**k they were doing, but the guys were intimidatingly HUGE and one of them had his shirt open so that his prison tattoos were on display. I tried not to look at them too closely.

It was some real mobster s**t, like the kinds of tattoos showing orthodox churches where every steeple is some code for a major crime he did. There were a lot of steeples. I noped the f**k out and figured out their room, counted the empty bottles next morning and billed it on their credit card. Was smth like 20-30k€ in total.


21. Seven times champagne

A long time agon, I worked in room service. I soon found out that if someone buys a bottle of booze and doesn’t open it, the policy is to bring it back to the kitchen to put into inventory to be resold. A coworker shared that the record, as far as they knew, there was one bottle of champagne that was re-sold 7 times before it was drank.


22. Avoid the bucket

Do NOT use the ice bucket without a bag inside, and avoid the coffee pot too. People use the buckets as puke buckets or as dog water bowls, and housekeeping is not cleaning them often enough… or sometimes at all. They often get missed because they look clean.

After seeing a flight attendant use the coffee maker to clean/steam her pantyhose that had blood all over them by filling the pot up with the hot water and putting the hosiery in it, I will not use them because they rarely get cleaned. I will at least call down to reception and request they be cleaned.


23. The morning after clean-up

One thing that it might surprise you to know is that rich people are nasty as hell. I worked in a “five diamond” hotel for a summer as a “houseman”. I basically went to rooms, picked up the linen and trash, and brought fresh linen and supplies for the cleaning ladies.

I saw people living like animals in the most disgusting conditions, because they wouldn’t pick up after themselves. Things I have found include: half-smoked cigars in a no smoking room, underwear with human fluids, half-eaten pizzas in the light fixtures.

I also found more bodily fluids in the mirror, used condoms in random places, half-drunk 1-litre bottles of booze, an entire suite that went unclaimed all summer, various sex toys. You name it, I probably have found it. There’s a reason I left the profession.


24. Crash the wedding… or the car

One time one of our main elevators plummeted from the fifth floor to the lobby and broke a guy’s leg. There was also a ghost on the fifth floor: during the Depression-era there was a rooftop garden you could access from the fifth floor and it became a popular spot to jump from.

We didn’t tell guests about the ghosts unless they asked, but many still got creeped out. The night security guys all had crazy stories about the ghost-filled hallway. There were lots of stories of things like the valets scratching people’s Lambos or the drivers wrecking the hotel town cars.

The staff loved to crash galas and weddings held in the hotel after their shift ended. We would eat and drink as much of the fancy food and champagne as possible because someone else was picking up the tab. I have a lot of awesome memories from that time, but a lot of chaotic ones too.


25. Flood the whole floor

The signs that warn you not to hang clothes on those water sprinkler heads are completely f**king serious. Those things put out some insane water pressure and the lines have to drain before they stop. Putting added pressure on top of them causes them to break.

This one time a family broke one and flooded five whole rooms that had to be ripped out down to the concrete. I often wonder how much drama it would have been if they weren’t on the ground floor. It was so much more damaging than even a fire would have been.


26. Home away from home

We don’t want you to know that the people who stayed in the room before you were probably f**king nasty. Housekeeping gets the brunt of the grossness, I’ve seen them carry out bags of used sex toys, peel used condoms off of every surface, and scrub s**t – actual human s**t – off places there’s no reason for human s**t to be.
the worst thing that I ever saw was the couple that wanted a home birth but not at home. We weren’t informed beforehand, but we still had to deal with that hazmat situation. We f**ked them as hard as we could with penalties and fees on their way out of the door, but in the end they still won since they managed to have their baby in the hotel.

27. Extra for eye candy

Staying at the 4 Season Maui some time ago, I was struck by how amazingly buff and handsome the car valets were, every single one of them could have been a Chippendale. They were just flat out gorgeous young men, and should have been working as actors or models.

I was in my 30s, but I noticed most of the clientele were much older, very well-heeled couples. The husbands would go off to play golf all day . . . and soon it dawned on me just whom the valets were really there to entertain, and how they made their tips.


28. Ancient dog dirt

A customer once called down because they had found a dog s**t in the corner of their room. It was late and there was no housekeeping until morning so I just switched their rooms. I went up to check it out and indeed there was a dog s**t behind the chair.

It was clearly visible in the corner but weirdly there was no smell. It took me a while to realise that that was because it was so old. I went to scrape it into a dustpan and it just kind of deflated/disintegrated because it had been there for SO long.

It was basically dust. I have never comfortably slept in a hotel since my early twenties, thanks to the amount of gross things I have seen. That dog poop was not even the only one I have had to deal with, not by a long shot, but it is definitely the funniest.


29. Out of the frying pan, into the fire

The kitchen staff is always underpaid and overworked. I worked 60 hours a week for minimum wage and I was one of the lucky ones as I was on the ‘new contracts’. The people on the old contracts had a fixed wage with no overtime which was a much better deal.

It meant they ended up working up to 80 hour weeks and got paid for 40 at a rate just above minimum wage. I would get paid more than them most weeks. Most hotels pride themselves on new management styles and a friendly atmosphere but all that flies out the window once you step into the kitchen.

When I was leaving my boss tried to guilt-trip me into staying by pointing out that he allowed me to have a month off earlier that year – I was written off by a doctor and was in the hospital for most of that month not to mention I was forced to use my holiday days even though it was a medical issue.


30. Lying to the boss

Once a bunch of people got stuck in an elevator and it just so happened that the president of the company was stuck in there too. He called the security and they said “oh sir we’re getting them out right now” and he replied: “No, you’re not.” The guy on the other end was in shock.

He went on to say “I’m in the elevator with the 17 people and nobody is getting us out we don’t hear anyone helping us.” Needless to say they were there in about two seconds and got us all out … it pays to have the CEO stuck with you lol, who knows how long we could have been there otherwise.


31. Guest gossip

This is probably not exclusive to five-star hotels, but every staff member gossips with each other about guests. We all have favorite guests who everybody loves, and guests that we all hate, and those who we are warned about by colleagues well in advance.

Whatever you’re up to in secret, a lot of the time staff is aware of what’s going on. Cheaters especially are incredibly easy to pick up on. And if you’re in the ‘hated guest’ category, there’s a good chance that staff have googled your name to stalk you online.


32. Mood lighting

The reason the in-house restaurant has the lights down low isn’t for mood, it’s because they are hoping it’s too dark to see that your wine glass is smudged. I once almost got a write up for emptying a rack of wine glasses into the dish pit because they were all disgusting. I don’t want to name names, but it’s a chain where steak starts at $100 and go from there.

33. Snitch on the scratches

I worked at a very fancy hotel as a valet, the management was nice but stern when it had to be. When I started there we had one big rule for valet: “if you damage any of the cars tell us and you won’t get fired”. I thought they were just trying to trick us into confessing.

Lo and behold about eight months down the line had my first ding, I freaked out and called them up on the walkie and they get up there, and me being who I am apologizing profusely. My manager was actually fine with it and I wasn’t fired which I was seriously surprised.


34. Chipped a tooth

We had a local college professor, using a fake name, identified by past students amongst the staff, spend two nights with a C-list p**nstar. After pretty raucous noises coming from their room all night, we later found out everything that had been left behind.

Basically, the p**nstar got too drunk and fully knocked out her tooth on a beer bottle in the bar by accident. She proceeded to go into a fit of rage and trashed the lobby bathroom. I’m talking every mirror broken and chipped marble walls and countertops.

The professor had to quietly pay for the damage and checked out soon after. Thousands of dollars he paid, no further questions asked and paid that day. I assume his wife never found out, because we didn’t get angry phone calls demanding to know the situation.

35. Marriage negotiation

My first job was as a bell boy at a five-star hotel in South East Asia. One day my boss asked me to be a translator for a guest and his “friend”. I was 20 yrs old at that time and didn’t know much about the world, and I was pretty naive even by young people’s standards.

I entered the room and saw a man and woman sitting across from each other, and the man told me to explain to her the benefits she’ll be getting when they get married. I did so, but it was a bit weird because both of them looked pretty nervous and upset.

The girl who didn’t know a lick of English was just saying yes to all his offers. At first, I thought it was romantic they were getting married and put it down to pre-wedding jitters / the fact that the woman was on the younger side, but I got a weird feeling later.

That’s when my boss explained to me that the girl was a bride for sale. I did feel some danger in the man’s voice and yet we were trained not to get involved in the guests’ business or affairs. I tried not to get given the same job again, it made me too uncomfortable.


36. Where are the bathrooms?

Most people you see at high profile hotel events don’t actually know where the toilets are or where anything non-staff related is, as they are generally minimum wage sort of “rental workers” from an agency. They don’t have enough time to get trained.

It’s far less expensive to go the agency route than hiring workers and having to pay them even if there is no work for them. These people are generally not well briefed. So when you ask someone where the toilet is and they point you to the wrong direction, have mercy on them.

They have probably needed to pee for like two hours but they don’t know where the toilet is either. In fact, since they can’t leave their post to wander around, it’s good manners to tell them where it is. As a general rule of thumb: take pity on them and be kind.


37. Bad behaviour on the job

Most of the more “important” employees at my hotel were c***ed up literally all shift, for most of their shifts. I’m talking people working 12+ hours, then sleeping at the job, then coming back 3-4 hours later to work some more. It was a chaotic environment to work with.

They always smelled like s**t btw. Also: everyone f**ked. Literally. Management, low level employees. Everyone worked so much they didn’t have time to meet people and go out to date. They kind of just slept with people at the job or even sometimes the guests.


38. Heartbreak hotel

There were lots of people having affairs. We had an incident where a man was meeting his mistress and his wife showed up at reception. She was in tears knowing what was going on and because of data protection we couldn’t tell her that they were there. I left the hotel shortly after that. as seeing someone’s life fall apart in front of you is heartbreaking. I hope she’s seen better days since then.


39. Who squeaked?

I have a couple of stories. One was the mouse in the guest bedroom, the guest was room upgraded but nothing was done about the mouse and I was told to forget about it. There was also a scale leakage problem whenever there was rain, which I was also told to ignore.

It caused build-up of black mould in-between the walls and ventilation. Guests were NOT moved from the rooms neighbouring these walls and the problem was not fixed until a guest threatened to report it. People were slowly getting sick in the rooms and had no idea why.


40. Unavailable extras

The Wyatt House that I worked at had a list of items and amenities listed on a piece of paper such as Beats headphones, yoga equipment, dumbbells, an intricate list of board games (by name), hair straighteners, hair curlers, video game systems, satellite radios, it went on and on.

It was such a long list and yet it was printed up next to the room service menu and tv channels. We did not have a single one of the items on the list when I worked there, and I don’t think we ever did. There were countless times that people would come up asking for these things.

Of course we would have to lie and say “well someone is already using that item.” I don’t know whether all the items were stolen early on, or if we never had them. Either way, maybe about 40% of my job everyday was just telling people no over and over again.


41. Cutting corners

I worked at a high end ski resort. They expanded their business to include all sorts of conventions and functions in the off season. They hired people that were cheap to hire, and they used materials that were inexpensive and common place anywhere they could.

I was sort of shocked whilst setting up for events at the sad and lacking equipment. There were polyester tablecloths and steel serving matters, many of which were dented or didn’t match. The butter they used was average Sysco brand butter normally used for cooking.

I mean not everything has to be cutting edge, but it just seemed miserly and cheap to me at a certain point. Most of the original staff quit too, because they couldn’t take the declining standards and a lot of the benefits just dried up. Goes to show that quality matters.


42. Free amenities

Former Bartender here from a five-star resort. The amount of s**t guests steal was the biggest shock, and the fact that for some reason the stealing wasn’t a good enough reason to install cameras and actual locks. We would also have bottles of liquor stolen frequently after we would close down and no way of knowing who took the stuff.


43. Bacon or olives?

The food at the hotel where I worked was a buffet, and the options were super weird. We got a tray of bacon as the meat option one time, and baked tinned potatoes as the side pretty often. Then the vegetarian options would be something much, much weirder.

For a lot of the days, there was no vegetarian meat substitute, just hot olives. The hotel was also dirty – the pool had stuff growing in it because no one at a ski resort owns a pool cleaner. So they just turned the heating off to kill the algae/moss. In the snow. It was a cold-*ss pool and the kids hated it.


44. Where’s the helipad?

A guy once threw a temper tantrum because management told him he couldn’t land his helicopter on the back deck of the hotel. We once had a big billionaire’s cronies dine with us, and they made us put up barriers around their table so no one could see them. They also told us we couldn’t “speak unless spoken to”, and we were given instructions by the assistant of their assistant… not directly.


45. Raiding the minibar

Years ago I worked at a swanky hotel in a big city in the South. The owner of a local bar got his dancers a set of suites for the weekend so they could be close to the bar, as it was All-Star Weekend. They were good guests but the owner’s credit card was declined after the ladies ran up the liquor and room service bill to over $20,000 plus the suites for the weekend. That was a fun phone call.


46. Extra info

As a general rule for staff at hotels: we gather and share guest preferences as a team and save the information for years. Anyone will be fired without question if this information is shared outside the resort. My friends know I can’t ever say names when talking about my day at work.

We have profiles on what you like to eat and drink and what kind of pillows you prefer. We also know whether or not there is a pattern of you getting upset and demanding free stuff or whether you make genuine complaints, the names of your dogs, your kid’s birthdays and ages.

It’s only done so we can make you feel remembered when you come back. I’ve been in the high-end resort industry for over a decade working many roles and this information is protected and only used for the guest experience! So don’t worry, and enjoy it!


47. Musical chairs

Over my many years of working in hotels, I’ve had the most demanding list from celebs. In one case, I had to completely re-arrange the furniture of rooms on not just one but two whole floors, she demanded we keep three SUVs onsite for her use at all times,

We also had to buy specific foods for her dietary concerns, and we were instructed: “if you see my son and he offers you a high five, you are to give him a proper handshake as he needs to learn better manners.” In the end, she never even stayed or stepped foot in the hotel.

She actually preferred her tour bus in the alley, but I can’t really blame her on that as those things are gorgeous and have way more amenities than a hotel, even if the beds are sometimes worse. Never used the SUVs either. Her team acted like primadonnas, treated us like s**t, and never tipped.


48. Not so safe

Management wouldn’t want guests to know just how unsafe their in-room safes really are, as well as how mischievous their employees can be. Locked safes are easily accessible for particular departments to access given the circumstances, so it’s down to good faith.

The last high-end hotel I worked security for had their safes mounted onto the minibar using Velcro …. Velcro. We had an incident where two in-room safes went missing, one of which had supposed items in upwards of $100k inside when they were removed from the room.


49. Homemade… kind of

When I was a lot younger, I once worked as a chef at a five-star hotel with a rosette restaurant in York, England for a very short while. They put me on sandwiches and room service to start out, which I was fine with until someone ordered a pizza and, since we were so busy, I was told to make it.

I was terrified, but I agreed. My naive a*s asked the chef where the pizza dough was, and he told me to check the freezer. I thought they’d maybe premade and par-baked the bases, or the dough would be sitting out in balls somewhere, but I was wrong.

They had Chicago Town mozzarella pizzas stacked to the ceiling. I was instructed to scrape the cheese off, put the toppings on then sprinkle the cheese back over before cooking so “it looks homemade”. I quit later that day, not because of integrity but because it was boring.