Being late
Kicking off with quite an innocent entry, there’s usually little harm done when you’re a couple of minutes late out the door. There are limits though, and while women do have a much longer prep time than men, it can be tiring to hear that an outfit not picturing well is why the evening is now on a stopwatch.
Foul language
Most guys do not care how many eff’s of Jeffs you get out in 24 hours, but fellas with a more old-fashioned outlook put swearing high on the list of faux-pas. This has to do with men’s very limited scope of gender in general, and the idea that bad words are improper and they somehow reflect poorly on you.
Wearing too much make-up
Men often don’t have a fantastic idea of how much make-up is being worn at any given time. It’s clear they favor a simple nude look, but they’ll also tell you that you look tired if you’re not wearing any. It’s fair to say they can spot a heavy application, and tend to dislike it. Don’t let that deter you though, look however you want!
Not enough make-up
Again, men aren’t great when it comes to make-up. They often overestimate how much somebody is wearing and that’s for them to form their impression. As a result, some men will see natural-faced women and think they’re not trying hard enough to look feminine! Make up your minds, guys.
Immodesty
This is another quite outdated idea that can cause a man to lose attraction, though you’ve really dodged a bullet if this is his biggest concern! Women have been expected to embrace modesty for a very, very long time for ultimately no reason. That’s mostly men’s fault because they find inexperience attractive for some reason.
Dramatic nails
Guys seem to list fancy or extravagant nails quite high on their list of unattractive features. It could be that they don’t keep up with trends, aren’t too fashion-forward, or just find it doesn’t fit into that ‘modesty’ thing they love so much. Women love nails though, and that’s who you should be getting Shellac’d out for!
Dry skin
When there are only a couple of skin types you can have anyway, it seems silly to attach a lot of worth to a face being wet. Women are expected to be soft and delicate creatures, with no pores, no cracks, and no flakes. You shouldn’t need a good skin day to feel loved and there are still probably upwards of 30% of men who don’t even own a moisturizer.
Bad posture
To be fair to the fellas, they notice this about other guys too, so at least there is a little bit of consistency. Bad posture is increasingly common since we’re all working pretend desk jobs, and you should want to fix it for your own sake before you do it for someone else. Set periodic reminders every hour to sit up straight and walk around.
Constant complaining
Life is nothing but complaining, really. The great thing about a partner is that you can both complain without fear of annoyance, ideally, but some men would rather the other half stay silent. You can pry into what exactly constitutes ‘complaining’ and it will likely be different for each man, but ‘gossip’ is a general no-no!
Too much perfume
Now this is easy to control, and a trap that’s easy to fall for. Men are guilty of it too, of course, because everybody wants to make an impression and some scents can disappear within an hour. Remember you’ll get used to the smell long before it fades, and a spritz in the hair behind the ear will waft when hugged.
Poor hygiene
Men have long stigmatized body hair on women as a symbol of poor hygiene. Ask the nearest man to you when the last time he washed his legs was to see the double standard. Hygiene in a more general sense you should try to keep on top of, look after your hair and skin, and take pride in your appearance!
Chapped lips
Dry lips are irritating enough without feeling like they might put somebody off you. A lot of it is tied to genetics and hydration, so drink more water because you can’t do much about the other thing. Exfoliating scrubs are also a lovely treat to get extra plumped up for any lip service you’re expecting.
Fake tanning
There are a couple of reasons this look isn’t so popular anymore across the board. First of all, most people are aware that tanning beds are dangerous, fake tan products can be spotty, and it can be reminiscent of early 2000s mismatched foundation looks. Bronze up if you fancy, we can’t all afford the real thing, but use it sparingly as a top-up and try to avoid that tell tale cookie scent!
Immaturity
Being a little silly is one of life’s great pleasures, and you shouldn’t deprive yourself of that just because you work in sales or something. Men and women tend to interoperate maturity differently, so it’s hard to gauge exactly where the line is. Overall, though, you should be able to recognize when a situation requires clarity and communication – and when you can let the real you shine!
Being fake
Nobody likes a phony and, to an extent, we all put on a little bit of a façade just to keep the wheels turning. It’s usually pretty clear when somebody uses a relationship for something other than the connection. The thing is, people are into all sorts, and you can be happy with somebody in a way that you want if you’re just upfront and honest.
Playing dumb
This can often come from a lack of communicational tact on the man’s part, but it’s nonetheless frustrating. It has nothing to do with actual intelligence, for whatever that’s worth, and more to do with playing oblivious to drag out a disagreement. “Nothing’s wrong” doesn’t give much to work with, though “let’s talk about it later” is at least a step up.
Poor manners
Men are only interested in one thing… that you treat service workers with respect! Get your mind out of the gutter. There is no excuse for poor manners, even in your more stress-filled moments, you’re still dealing with people who are also living lives as complex and autonomous as yours. Mind your P’s and Q’s, and those T’s. That’s tips, by the way.
Acne
Anybody worth having in your life is not going to care that you get breakouts, but there are undeniably some men who would treat it like an issue. Ultimately no good skin care advice is going to come from these people, so it’s not as if it comes from any position of authority, so consider this one a free red flag for your arsenal.
Vanity
Vanity is deeply tied to our self-perception, and people don’t like the way a constant fixation on image reflects on that. You tend not to notice vanity in yourself because it creeps through in ways we don’t intend. It’s clear when somebody thinks they’re above another person, and it’s not a very attractive trait.
Damaged hair
Either sitcoms were lying, or from the 80’s to the 2010 men suffered from a testosterone-induced spout of blindness. Now that the soy has feminized men, just like Fauci was planning all along, they’re starting to raise the bar a little. They pay attention to the condition of your hair, and you should want to keep it fit just for your comfort.
Financial irresponsibility
If a relationship is going to have an issue, if there has to be a single argument in its entire lifespan, the chances are are finances are related to it. It’s hard to escape the crunch, but you should both be understanding of the reality. We all deserve a little treat sometimes, but you need the revenue to back up these expensive tastes.
Long showerers
The planet is drying up pretty quickly and, although it’s not your fault your voice sounds so good with all the acoustics, all those showers can stand to be cut back a little. The ‘everything shower’ can still be a treat for a hard week’s work, but especially when it’s a shared room you should stay considerate of your guest/host.
Being too touchy in public
The old subject of PDAs is well-covered ground, with a lot of men falling on the against side for a myriad of reasons. Some are a little too concerned about image, not wanting to appear too enthusiastic in public. It can also be out of consideration, that they don’t want to do something they’d be uncomfortable seeing themselves.
Being mean to the family
Family issues are probably going to come up at some point in a relationship, and handling those can be tough. Being needlessly antagonistic towards your family, even if warranted, can give the impression that this is how you talk about them to other people. It’s too meaningful to be called gossip, so it’s worth navigating with care.
Bad breath
This one is pretty much universal between the sexes. You don’t need minty-fresh spearmint bubbles in the corner of your mouth, as most people also agree that breath that’s too obsessively clean is also a turn-off. It’s pretty hard to regulate when all the best foods have garlic and onion in them, though, and coffee lingers like a seed in your teeth.
Lack of hobbies
It’s important to keep up an active independent social life whether you’re three dates in or thirty years married. A lot of men value relaxation time (the rest die of aneurism at 45) but also like their partner to develop new interests and hobbies alongside them. If one of you stays home a lot while the other is out, it’s going to build some resentment.
When women are the sole earners
A big part of the societal idea of masculinity is based on providing. That means men who subscribe to that idea and fail to live up to it because the economy is pretty garbage, feel a sense of animosity towards women who fill the role better than them. More men need to jump on the sugar baby bandwagon.
Insulting his family
If insulting your own family is bad, that goes double for insulting your partner’s family. It’s not exactly a gender-specific trait to care about your own family, and you should be careful when there’s a playful antagonism there. Make absolutely sure that a family-oriented guy is okay with the mother-in-law jokes beforehand!
Talking about bodily functions
Some men think they could survive in the wilderness with just a beard and a flannel shirt, but also get grossed out by mentioning menstruation. This is just another one of those contradictions at the heart of manhood, ultimately being a baby who can’t handle the idea that women also get IBS and sneeze sometimes, maybe.
Indecisiveness
Men don’t mind going through the motions of guided decision-making, like deciding what you’re going to have for dinner tonight. In general, though, they like their partners to have some sense of what they want, and how they want to get it. Relationships work out much better when you’re both moving towards a similar goal.
Big drinkers
Even though, in America at least, men outdrink women by around 9%, they still find it unladylike to chug a beer. Maybe they’re mad that all the best drinks are female-coded. A man would rather join the military than order a Long Island iced tea, and, in America at least, he is allowed to while you sip one in each hand.
Being too clingy
Men need breathing space to process their emotions the same way women do. You should give your partner the same respect and space you would want from them, even if that involves putting something on hold. Men tend to feel the walls closing in when stressed, and an overbearing partner can make that worse.
Playing hard to get
Love games can be fun, there’s an air of romanticism about somehow ending up together despite the challenges. That being said, at some point, it becomes clear you aren’t actually playing the same game at all, and one of you has a snorkel on. Men appreciate upfront communication, so it’s better to be honest in your courtship.
Being mean toward other women
Even men don’t like women who put other women down. We all deal with insecurity and, although we remind others constantly not to compare themselves to others, you can still easily fall victim to envy. In those moments it’s easy to score cheap points by tearing somebody down who, let’s face it, probably hasn’t done anything to you.
Bad vibes
Believe it or not, guys pick up on vibes too. A couple of them will ignore the fact you’d rather be somewhere else and press on with the date like you’ve been married for 50 years and hate each other’s guts. Most see women with negative personalities as less attractive, which seems like a bit of an overreaction, but guys are like that sometimes.
Endless talking
On average, women are much better communicators and collaborators than men. Perhaps that’s why some men find too much chatter to be annoying, they wish they had the gift of the gab. There is something wonderful about a comfortable silence though, it’s a sign you’re both comforted by each other’s presence.
Unrealistic expectations
There are a lot of expectations placed on men to always be striving for some ill-defined and ever-shifting goal. It’s unmanly to be unsure, but also a sign of weakness to go out looking for help. Relationships aren’t supposed to be therapy, but you should both be on the same page about what you want if only to minimize stress!
Selfishness
It’s not always possible to strike a perfect 50/50 balance on everything. Some things will skew closer to one partner’s side and, eventually, you understand that balance will be restored without needing to hold anything over anybody’s head. Being unable to compromise is a lot of men’s least favorite personality trait in a partner.
Being unable to commit
Men from across the world, from varying countries and lifestyles, value comfort and security above all else. They like the idea that you will be around for a while, and value a partner who reciprocates that honestly. It’s the man that’s most likely going to have to propose one day, and nobody wants the do that damn thing twice.
Stubbornness
A little bit of brattyness is fine depending on your relationship dynamic, it takes all sorts to make a world after all. When it’s outside the defined parameters, relentlessly standing your ground on an issue and refusing to accept another viewpoint is not going to endear you to anybody.