Respect her boundaries
Parents have the uncanny ability of crossing boundaries, whether they intend to or not. Respect your daughter’s boundaries – avoid talking about intimate topics you know she’ll find uncomfortable, or check in with her before popping over uninvited. Your daughter will thank you for catering to her needs, and your bond will become much stronger.
Practice non-judgmental listening
It’s crucial that you foster non-judgmental listening skills while communicating with your daughter. If she makes choices you don’t necessarily agree with, don’t immediately lecture her on why she’s made the wrong decision. Instead, listen to her with an open mind, trying to understand her perspective. Practicing open communication guided by a kind heart will create a relationship based on mutual respect, love, and understanding.
Spend quality time together
Just because she’s older, it doesn’t mean that the time you spend together has to fall by the wayside. Set aside some time each month to bond over a common interest, doing things that you both enjoy. You’ll create memories that’ll last a lifetime, all whilst deepening your special connection.
As a mother, it’s likely that you shielded your child from your negative emotions when she was growing up. Now that she’s older, discuss topics with her that have been weighing heavy on your mind. It’ll help your daughter to see you as someone other than just her mother, showing her that you’re a woman with her own thoughts, feelings, and fears – just like she is.
Let her be her own person
Accepting your daughter for who she is will bond you two together in no time. Let go of all your preconceived notions about who you think she should be – what career she should pursue, who she should date, what she does with her body. She’s her own person – not a mirror image of you.
Don’t treat her like an emotional punching bag
Many mothers project their own insecurities onto their daughters, without even realizing they’re doing it. For example, if you’re insecure about your weight, don’t use that as an excuse to point out any extra pounds she may be carrying. Choose your words carefully – they affect her more than you know.
Treat her like an adult
It may be hard to hear, but she’s not your little girl anymore. She’s an adult, so treat her as such. That means you should avoid being overbearing, or constantly trying to control every aspect of her life. You may have pure intentions, but sometimes the only way to become closer to someone is to take a few steps back.
Don’t endlessly criticize her
Forever pointing out her flaws, criticizing her life choices, and disagreeing with your daughter at every chance you get will destroy your relationship, making her feel resentful towards you. Curb your criticism, and instead celebrate all of the wonderful things that you love about her.
Respect her schedule
Now that your daughter is grown, she may have less time for you. Try not to take it as a personal attack – it’s just life. Respect her schedule when trying to make plans as she has her own responsibilities now. Don’t verbally attack her if she doesn’t call you for a month, instead try to understand that she has her own daily demands to contend with.
Be her number one cheerleader
There’s nothing like a mother’s love for her daughter. Don’t be afraid to flaunt just how much you love her. Always be in her corner, and always have her back. Knowing that you’re there for her as a constant, unwavering emotional support system is the greatest gift you could ever give your child.