My Ex Has Become Very Violent [reader question]

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I’m a little lost for words and am looking for help . I have been in a relationship for four years and last year my ex started to become very violent. It’s started a few years ago where we would fight break up and the police would be called .. I must say I was in a very sad place and was drinking a lot … But my ex was always violent to me and he has always tried to get me arrested many times it’s worked ..

But last year it changed I got help for drinking and have been clean for over a year or more , he would disappear at weekends spend all his wages on drink leave me to look after our children , he alway chose the pub over us .. Then when he would creep around us a few days later … So as it happens our relationship would take a toll he would get drunk strangle me beat me smash our home to pieces the next day he was sorry .. But he wasn’t he would do the same the following weekend etc etc …

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With our children involved I was told I had to get rid of him and I did but he wouldn’t stop the trouble he put the final nail in the coffin last year when he broke into my home and attacked me and tried to take my baby .. I was scared and all I wanted was to get away , I didn’t want to get the police or anybody involved but felt it was the right thing to do . I had had enough well until I had to get an order on him now I got the court process and he has lied and made things worse for me .. Even though I got an order so my son is to stay with myself despite the issues I suffered I feel scared alone and afraid … I have always loved this bloke and when he was sober was the best times but he refuses to admit there is a problem my children don’t even know who he is anymore ..

Will the courts take my side and listen to what I have to say .. Will they take my children away from me and give them to him the only thing I ever wanted was a family all as a unit and I miss him deeply I’m finding it hard to control my feelings as I have seen the good side in him but wish he could stop drinking and we can be happy .. I’m so lost and confused can anybody help ….

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